Determining self value

2010-10-27T21:16:05+00:00

a good trick to value is to not worry about your own value. worry about other people's value. invest your value in other people now, and they will repay you later. the concept of "the best way to be interesting is to be interested" is very true, I think it's from dale carnegie but not sure.

think about the most popular guy you know in college/at the workplace. at least for me, that guy is the type of guy that wonders over to you in the library, asks what you're doing, is interested in you, which makes you like him. and he does that for a lot of people, so a lot of people like him.

at a party and someone is by themself? go talk to them. are you making a decision today? ask at least 3 people what they would do, which will make them feel important. It also gives you an opportunity for future conversation, as they will probably ask you how it went. yesterday I donated $20 to a friend's youchoose.org fundraiser for his 4th grade class, made me feel great plus now I have an even closer bond with him. he'll probably be excited next time we're at a bar together.

So my advice is really that your mentality is currently erroneous, as once you feel you are important to other people's lives, your inner confidence will manifest itself in the natural way. invest your value in other people.

Delightful_White · 2010-10-27T21:09:37+00:00

If you don't think you have any value, than she will think the same thing. The key is to talk about what you do with enthusiasm. Speak slowly.. with pauses.. when you talk about how.. PASSIONATE.. you are for art.. she will be hanging on your words. If you speak with passion and enthusiasm (and slowly, with pauses to emphasize certain words), no matter what your talking about she will find it interesting. Because YOU find it interesting, and you're talking about it like its the most interesting thing in the world, as you should be!

TL;DR talk slower, emphasize words, speak with passion, use pauses. It will make what your saying more interesting, no matter what you're talking about

notagain909 · 2010-10-27T21:45:02+00:00

I think your problem is you perceive your value as coming from external things. Confidence doesn't come from anything external, a lot of people go the, 'I can allow myself to be confident because.." route which is flawed.

I think confidence and self value come from getting rid of limiting/negative beliefs rather than trying to cover those up with positive beliefs.

philosarapter · 2010-10-28T13:58:33+00:00

In truth, you are massive cellular machine composed of billions of cells which work in perfect harmony that has been perfected over billions of years of death and natural selection. Your line of genes have emerged the survival versus all predators, climate and catastrophic incident.

The atoms which compose your body were forged in the heart of supernovae at temperatures of billions of degrees. You possess, inside your skull, the most complex and powerful computational system in the entire known universe!

Let us not trivialize our value. You have the entire universe coursing within you.

We are worlds contained in form.

neur0 · 2010-10-28T06:11:08+00:00

Hey there,

So I've been in and out of game and game theory for a while. Out because of the fact that I "got other shit to worry about" in life. In doing so, I expanded myself greatly in a lot of areas like leadership, management, overcoming key faults inhibiting myself from doing great things, and general career advancements.

What I personally perceive "inner confidence" or "inner game" to be was almost a passive acting upon things and what I personally realize is that it isn't that, is exercising one's so called pillars that make up values all the time.

Maybe that's too much, but I'd have to say, "very fucking often" The ability to demonstrate confidence, intelligence, leadership, and all that jazz, I feel, is intrinsically linked to a better person. I can say that not everyone can exercise their desired qualities, but when one really wants to do it, one can find a venue for it. Workplace not cutting out? Organizinations or groups that are in lined with one passions have venues for letting out and exercise your desired traits. Art? There's art competitions and galleries and such.

I mean, it sounds like its trying too hard to prove to the world. That's true, but what's the opposite? Being lazy and settling for less? I think an ample or balanced amount of pushing these boundaries and ebbing back into the self to reflect is crucial for building one's self value. If its a push and pull dance with the girl, its a push and pull dance with one's self and one's self and the world.

We are beings too linked to society to be exclusive to just some inner reflection.

cheddarchexmix · 2010-10-28T08:36:04+00:00

There's a pretty good book called "Never Eat Lunch Alone", basically a business networking book. Its basic message is that you approach social interactions by determining how you can improve other people's lives. It's all relative to the other person. In purely social settings, this just translates to "how can I make this person's life more fun?" Be interested in what they are doing, tell them about cool things they are interested in, be positive and funny and supportive all the time. Everyone can add something to every other person's life. This outlook has helped me a lot.

Title	Determining self value
Author	snuworksafe
Upvotes	11
Comments	6
Date	October 27, 2010 8:46 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dxd43/determining_self_value/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/determining-self-value.1312570 https://theredarchive.com/post/1312570

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