Difference between being aloof and not taking people's shit?

ThrowawayPUA · 2014-09-23T03:23:54+00:00

You will have to determine your own boundaries. You don't have to let people treat you like a doormat, but you can't bristle at every comment. I personally feel a lot of what people think is "banter" is really barely suppressed hostility and can easily cross the line into bullying. I have a very low tolerance for that chest-bumping shit.

RandianHero · 2014-09-23T04:29:08+00:00

I look at it this way: letting people affect you is a choice. You're the one who decides what constitutes a big deal. And the truth of the matter is nothing is ever as big a deal as you think it is. If someone straight up disrespects you, it's because they feel the need to cut you down since that's the only way they can build themselves up. People like that are just plain inconsequential.

Now, for me, the line is drawn when they start that shit with other people. I don't honestly give a fuck what they say to or about me. But my friends? If some cocksmoke is going around talking a bunch of shit to people who aren't me, I'll step in and call them out on it. Because while it doesn't affect me, the same can't always be said for other people.

teh_booth_gawd · 2014-09-23T05:47:57+00:00

Try and keep it upbeat, or at least maintain a positive frame. I stole two little techniques from The Big Lebowski to deal with negative people and confrontation in general - whether the other person is serious or not.

When The Jesus was acting aggressive, at the bowling alley in the movie, both The Dude and Walter each have a great reaction.

Dude, maintaining laid back posture and steady voice says, "Well... That's just like uh... your opinion, man."

Walter, in a different confrontation, just sits there unphased, staring at the aggressor, blinking a few times - as if to non verbally condescend, "Aw, aren't you cute."

Just some fun shit I do sometimes.

Dullahan3470 · 2014-09-24T01:54:37+00:00

My approach often when guys are trying to emasculate me is to turn it around on them by hitting on them or saying something sexually suggestive. This works because it's completely unexpected and tends to put them on the defensive, and because it comes across as light-hearted and as a joke and not as aggression. Usually most guys will stop after this though, because a lot of guys try to avoid anything that makes them look gay.

Bit non-conventional, but if you're comfortable in your sexuality I find it's a really good way to respond without encouraging them to continue to respond. (Generalizing, but honestly works on most straight guys in my experience. Haven't tried it on a gay guy.)

ThePretendDoctor · 2014-09-23T03:02:17+00:00

I think this is where body language plays a huge part, along with facial expressions.

They're a dick, you keep strong body language, look at them with an unimpressed look. And stand your ground.

Hold frame, and you're good to go

Title	Difference between being aloof and not taking people's shit?
Author	Ru5k0
Upvotes	13
Comments	5
Date	September 22, 2014 11:12 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2h6b62/difference_between_being_aloof_and_not_taking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/difference-between-being-aloof-and-not-taking.1376956 https://theredarchive.com/post/1376956

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