Do you try to escalate on the first date?

Virtual_Ad_4817 · 2025-04-06T01:39:53+00:00

Hold hands. Initiate physicality that is socially acceptable. Put your hand on her back leading her through the doorway. Give eye contact a split second longer than you normally would.

Talk about something cool that is back at your place. The view from your balcony, a funny show you like, your dog, a rare and interesting object you have. Later toward the end of the date, tell her you want to show it to her and invite her back to your place.

Tell her it's not for sex/you have no sexual expectations. It's just to show her the thing you talked about.

She may or may not say yes to coming home with you on the first date. But give her the alibi that it's for something else either way. Even if she wants to have sex with you, most girls still will not agree to coming back blatantly for sex.

Once you are back at your place with her, you can begin to escalate physically more. Depending on how your place is set up, you can get get this down to a science with practice. Have music playing, pour her a glass of wine or water, have sexy lighting.

For me, I'm either sitting next to her on the couch or on the balcony. We talk for a bit, and then escalation is very natural.

Some girls won't agree to coming back on the first date and that's fine. Those girls are usually more often gf material. Try on the second or third.

Also, some girls WILL come back to your place but won't escalate to sex. You can usually still get a makeout. With those girls as long as you don't screw it up, they'll have sex with you on the second date.

When you "fumble" and the girl seemed down but you still screwed it up, review what went wrong and do better next time. It's usually a strategic error.

Thelondonvoyager · 2025-04-06T08:43:41+00:00

IMO always try to smash

Plastic_Friendship55 · 2025-04-06T09:46:52+00:00

Escalation is a natural part of dating.

First of all stop the idea of boundaries. That mindset will just drag you down. Women are humans. They are horny too and if they like you they want things to escalate just as much as you do. Seeing them as having boundaries makes you see them as someone who is protecting themselves from you. Drop that mindset.
Actions mean more than words. I’ve experienced countless first dates where women are very clear they could never dream of having sex on a first date and don’t understand how anyone could. A few hours later they are initiating sex with me. Again. Change your mindset. Women change their minds all the time. A woman who likes you really hasn’t ruled out anything no matter what she says.
Age gap means nothing when it comes to interest and attraction. If they like you they like you. There will be a difference in life experience. Make sure they always feel like they are the one in control of the situation.

You are self sabotaging a lot with those thoughts. Making everything much more difficult than it needs to be. Don’t self sabotage.

The vibes and energy will tell you when it’s time to escalate. She will give plenty of clear signs when she wants more. Just follow that and you can’t go wrong. Let there be balance. Let her escalate too. Create vibes that make it comfortable for her to escalate

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2025-04-06T01:00:37+00:00

You have the ability to control how much you want to escalate so long as you possess enough buy-in and tension to do so. See my post on frames 101.

How to approach the first date is really personal preference, there is no correct answer. Depends on how much you like the girl and your goals around dating.

nnavyyy · 2025-04-06T01:20:16+00:00

theyve stated theyre not into one night stands and casual hookups so theyre obviously not gonna have sex on the first date. also the age gap might make it look weird if u neccesarily dont get the hint that the person isnt tryna do anything.

if u wanna turn this into a relationship dont come off as desperate bc it makes u look odd and the person might not go on dates w u bc they'll assume you're just in for the hook up part.

go on three dates and maybe try escalating things on the third.

everydayguy_ · 2025-04-06T05:33:18+00:00

There is no one size fits all answer. It just depends on the vibe of the date. There’s no way to really explain it , with enough experience and emotional intelligence you can gauge where the date seems to be heading. I judge how much I should escalate based on how the receptive the woman is being. You can go fast with some , and you’ll have to go slow with others. That’s it really.

Kobe_curry24 · 2025-04-06T14:46:01+00:00

You should have escalated before the first date then the first date is just setting up report ,but if you didn’t do that then I advise yes you take her to a place where you can escalate , Which wouldn’t be dinner date , and by escalation you want to be touching her hand ,looking in her eyes you need to be testing the boundaries, not just talking , generally speaking this is audition for her to be your GF ,you need to take the role that she already is your GF

theveganshaper36 · 2025-04-08T05:49:51+00:00

I try to escalate even getting the numbers lol own your masculine energy dont hide it

Title	Do you try to escalate on the first date?
Author	alvin__yakitori
Upvotes	7
Comments	8
Date	April 5, 2025 11:56 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1jsh7h3/do_you_try_to_escalate_on_the_first_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-you-try-to-escalate-on-the-first-date.1548671 https://theredarchive.com/post/1548671

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