Does theory even matter in the beginning when you still haven't even started approaching yet and you have crippling AA with chicks? If any of you guys could go back to the start, what would you do differently?

WIA20XX · 2019-11-26T12:24:16+00:00

1 hour of reading should be followed by 2-4 hours of practice/implementation. That was the "rule" before The Game came out.

If I could go back in time, I would have approached hotter girls faster and bigger. Most of the growth happens with the challenge, not with the easy stuff.

On learning

If you are the typical introvert, nerd, "intelligent", guy that pickup seems to attract - the next best course of action is to "small chunk" the game.

talking to your family.
talking to your extended family.
talking to your friends.
talking to acquaintances.
talking to employees and service industry folks that HAVE to talk to you.
making eye contact.
eye contact and nonverbal greetings.
approaching total strangers.
asking for the time.
asking for directions.
talking about the weather.
doing all of the above with women specifically.
Where to find attractive women to cold approach.
canned opener, like Hi or Hello.
expected responses.
working on approach angles.
handling positive, negative, and indifferent responses.
environmental opener.
a PUA style canned opener.

Etc. Body language, where to stand, vocal tone, projection, volume, knowing for to emote/emphasize, pregnant pauses, purposeful silence, linear versus nonlinear, telling jokes, telling stories, making general observations....

There is no end to the skills that pickup calls for. Luckily, using a personality approach has such a low bar that it doesn't take much to get competent.

And you build your own series of steps that increases your social skills and general confidence with actually talking to strangers.

Maybe you "need" to take smaller steps. Maybe you need larger steps. No book or program can list everything.

And for once you'll have to use your brain and judgment to guide your learning.

This is the scariest part for so-called smart guys learning socialization. They usually aren't as smart as they think they are.

Eezay · 2019-11-26T10:55:33+00:00

Honestly, the theory is fun and all, but I, for example, waited way too long for the theory to do work on its own. It won't. But when you start to actually apply all this stuff, there are so many puzzle pieces falling into the right place, it's just beautiful.

You can read a book about playing the guitar, but you won't know how to play. Practice is the bread and butter for honing your skills, but the best way to get better is practice in combination with theory.

bournit · 2019-11-26T15:05:11+00:00

You have approach anxiety because of too much theory. In beginner stage doing it badly is actually better then not doing it (perfectly).

Comments