I'll start by saying I'm 25, I've been going through a dry spell by my own doing for about 8 months and I'm just disappointed in myself because I know how to get girls and I know I'm attractive. I guess I've just been focused on all the negatives in my life recently and went through a LOT of changes the past couple years, even homelessness. This last year I decided to work a second job waiting tables and delivery driving, really helped me get my mojo back, saved $ to move countries while waiting tables and being surrounded by women made it easier to get comfortable.

I'd get told that I was attractive by coworkers, have girls give me obvious hints, ask why I'm single, and I would make moves sometimes but not put that much effort in and act like I didn't care, sometimes the anxiety would kill me. I would say stuff like I would rather be single than deal with the stress but I know I want a healthy relationship with the right person. But at the same time, I am very reserved and sensitive and will have a hard time if a girl is not loyal.

I'll also say I had a pretty traumatic childhood that I think has affected my approach to relationships with women especially, my father was abusive towards both me and mom and mom was physically abusive towards me. I think this led me to only seek short term relationships, from 17-21 I would just have sex with a new girl every week, lie and manipulate girls into relationships, never really had a healthy relationship with any woman. I think its also led to negative pron behaviors which I've also been struggling with since a young age.

I just recently moved to another country and been out a few times, had a girl caress my arm and for some reason I just snatched it away, although I had a lot to drink I've never done that and don't know why I did, she was also pretty. I don't know whats wrong with me, I just think that my negative view of women is just holding me back, I know I want a healthy relationship but I'm scared. I've been using pron to cope recently as well which is holding me back, I'm just not sure how to go forward right now.