Escalating in clubs, help! [22M]

penguin_says_slide · 2015-03-07T18:26:38+00:00

Do baby steps.

So don't think about hugging or making out or sex...just hold her hand.

Make it a goal...for the next 2 weeks, every approach I will make, I have on goal in mind...I need to take their hand in mine and hold it. Why two weeks? Because you can't fix a sticking point by just doing it once. I assume you've got AA handled, how did you do that? In a day or over a period of time?

So do that. The first few times will be terribly scary, you will be awkward as fuck, rejected, nervous...whatever! But you do that and I guarantee in the end, you'll be an elite hand holder.

Once that's ticked off the list, move to hugs, or makeouts and so on.

lordBobbo · 2015-03-07T18:20:53+00:00

Bring her to the dance floor and have fun. Increase the tension by feeling her up, bring her hips close to yours and put her arms around your neck. There you can sneak in a kiss and even if you don't, you can isolate her and make out after.

As for getting her to the dance floor you just have to have fun (you know, enjoying the present) and believe in yourself. Smile while you grab her hand and lead her to dance, while keeping strong eye-contact. Hopefully this helps, it's basically what I've been doing.

hangways · 2015-03-08T01:20:51+00:00

Use the loud music to your advantage. Whenever she says something, just pull her in closer to you so you can hear properly. There's a bunch of variations too, e.g.:

Side by side vs face to face
Pressure and location of your hand on her back / shoulders / etc.
Talking in her ear vs looking directly at her
Amount of bodily contact during the pull
Whether you break contact after the sentence or not

It's super easy to scale up ("just a little more body contact now"), you've got great plausible deniability if you miscalibrate or want to change logistics ("it's too loud, come over here"), and it's an easy way to get in close for a kiss.

recyclablebantha · 2015-03-08T07:31:59+00:00

Imagine how hard is it to charm a couple of jealous girls with loud music pumping tho. :|

It's actually a simple matter. Dance clubs aren't for talking. They're for loud music and dancing. So you don't initially approach by TALKING. You approach by DANCING and through eye contact.

If you are insisting on trying to talk to girls who are there to dance and listen to loud music, you are doing the equivalent of going up to someone at a LAN party and demanding that they take off their headphones and pay attention to you, in the middle of a game match.

and the venues are smaller....

So now you realise why small venues I attend are horrible for any moves... I'm optimistic about approaching tonight but unless the club gets full I'm probably stuck. :|

Venue size doesn't matter except in your head. All it takes is one girl, really. As long as you are interested in that one girl and she is interested in you.

Attendance doesn't matter unless you're dealing exclusively with girls with whom you've already gotten shot down with.

Yeah this is all familiar but I'm not going to that kind of clubs usually

Either we're talking about bars or dance clubs. Which is it? If you are dealing with places that have loud music, then what I've said above still applies.

anti-slut-mechanism are too strong for that. :/

Anti-slut defense is when clothes are coming off but she stops things because she doesn't want to think of herself as a slut. It's when things are getting heated and she squashes it because she worries what her friends think.

You're not describing the "anti-slut defense." You're describing her friends not liking you and/or pulling their friends away from you because they lack the ability to express their lack of interest directly.

Bitch shield = her friends that are 90% of time jealous or didn't approve you for whatever reason and they will do everything to stop you, I've even faced a situation where a friend of the girl that I started dancing with literally just stopped dancing and stared at us, making my girl go to her and ask her what's up and such resulting in me losing her obviously.

Bitch shield is when you're dealing with girls who field a lot of approaches from guys, and they develop the "shield" as a response to the often awkward advances. Or as a response to dating douches.

You seem to think that your situation is special or unique in some way. It's not. A lot of guys out there spend time finding all the reasons they can't do something, rather than taking real risks or evaluating what changes they could make in their approach.

The question is, are you being present and aware enough to approach women in a way that's savvy? Or are you coming up with something random and/or awkward?

Women are very susceptible to their friend's opinions, basically if her friends approve you, you're in, I'm not kidding, this is psychology (which I study in my part time).

It's fully possible to encounter girls who want their friend to hook up with you but she's not interested.

craiggy · 2015-03-14T05:34:15+00:00

You want to start off by dancing/grinding and building a bit of sexual tension. Hold her hips while grinding on her from behind. Then slowly run your hands up and down her hips. After a few minutes, turn her around and grind on her front side. After a minute or two. Slowly stop and make eye contact. If she holds it for a second, put your hand on her chin and just fucking kiss her.

Title	Escalating in clubs, help! [22M]
Author	meukow
Upvotes	4
Comments	13
Date	March 7, 2015 5:31 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2y97kz/escalating_in_clubs_help_22m/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/escalating-in-clubs-help-22m.1384979 https://theredarchive.com/post/1384979

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