Hello redditers. Like many men interested in improving their love life, I LOVE Models by Mark Manson. I think it’s pragmatic and effective for building genuine, meaningful relationships.

I’m also very interested in navigating social situations, even non-romantic ones. So, when Mark Manson recommended HTWF&IP on the back cover, i had to check it out.

This is where I get confused. Principle 1 of HTWF&IP is “don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.” Aren’t you being needy and thus unattractive by repressing your criticism? By being afraid to express yourself, to be vulnerable?

As an example, I just watched the movie “Into the Wild.” I am critical of Chris (the main character) as I feel that he’s naive, entitled, and arrogant. If a girl asks me what I think of the movie, shouldn’t I act like a dominant male and say what I truly think—that being that the main character is naive, entitled, and arrogant??? But then that’s being uncharismatic according to Carnegie’s book.

To me it seems like the two books contradict each and that you have to choose between being charismatic or dominant/non-needy. Any advice?