Hi all, looking for advice.

I moved to a new city and left a long relationship about 6 months ago. I've been using the dating apps and had minor success, several hookups/kiss close, but not to the extent that i'm looking for. I know i'm a decent looking guy but often a girl will hookup with me or kiss me then say later they didnt feel any chemistry, didnt feel any feelings. But then there are some girls who i regrettably hooked up with who are well beneath my league and they get obsessive.

On top of that i was hung up on my ex for a while, still am somewhat, but it was pretty bad with crying often. I also have very poor self esteem- despite the evidence i have to the contrary my brain keeps trying to convince me that i am not attractive

How do i reconcile all this? I want to be able to make any girl i want obsessed with me. I feel like my poor mental state affects my game on dates which leads to the mixed results, but even when i feel like we had a great time and a lot of fun they turn around and say they lacked chemistry.

I'm just not sure where to go from here. I feel pretty burnt out and i can absorb the advice from this sub on how to get app dates, but implemehting it just seems exhausting. Idk, anyone have advice?