Few things I still don't get

YourShepherd69 · 2019-01-15T23:21:43+00:00

The nice guy persona is all you know, of course you don’t feel comfortable with other approaches. You need to get out of your comfort zone, nice guys don’t get pussy. If the nice guy approach was getting you so much pussy you wouldn’t be on this sub-reddit rn.

Don’t be afraid to have personality & be yourself, just be dominant.

There’s a difference between chasing and pursuing a women. Theres nothing wrong with pursuing a women (Approaching her, sending initial first text etc).

Don’t always be the one that texts first, don’t constantly text her, don’t always be available, don’t always agree with her etc.

Always keep your purpose/grind your number one priority, if a women becomes your number one priority, you lost.

SUCK_MY_DICTIONARY · 2019-01-16T05:57:22+00:00

Hard to tell what exactly you’re saying but I think I catch your drift.

Mostly it’s a big catch 22. I’ve been doing it a while and I’m starting to see how it fits together. I would liken it all to the market. For example:

You buy coffee at Starbucks when it catches your eye, it feels like you stumble upon it but they strategically place locations so that you end up there. The Starbucks business doesn’t physically uproot itself to get you to come in.

You don’t buy Starbucks every day, usually. A brand like Maxwell House does fine for most people because it’s cheap, reliable, and you can go to the store and buy 100 cans of it and nobody cares. It doesn’t seem to ever go bad. It’s always there.

Maxwell House is not sexy like Starbucks. It doesn’t taste as good, but it’s reliable. Starbucks never forced itself on you. It never made you like it. But you like it. The brand is in your face. The storefront attracts you.

Maxwell House is the “nice guy” approach. Hey, I’m here for you, always. Just go to any store, pretty much anywhere, you can buy 100 cans of me. I’ll always be here for you. But no one looks forward to Maxwell House. Some people only want Starbucks. They will pay every day for it. It’s not black and white who does what. It’s certainly more expensive to want Starbucks everyday, but to some people that’s fine. Starbucks is (in this sense) more “alpha” because it’s higher quality but you have to go out of your way to get it. But you do because it’s that much better.

Consequently, that’s why you see a lot of nice guys get cheated on or starved sexually, they basically become Maxwell House and never spice it up. It’s boring. So they go on a Starbucks run and cheat on them.

Two main things to understand: 1) Maxwell House approach is much easier. Pour coffee into can, ship as many as possible. That’s why it feels more natural. Starbucks has to build stores, come up with advertising, strategically locate businesses, and make sure the coffee is spectacular. Maxwell House just has to put the coffee in the can. Translation: to be alpha, you have to get the motivation and resources, find the right places and the right shit to say, and make sure you’ve got something worth their while once you lure them in. To be a nice guy, you just have to be a guy and be nice. It’s really not hard whatsoever. Nobody has a hard time with it.

2) You don’t have to be Maxwell House all the time or Starbucks all the time. You can change based on the year, the day or even the hour. It’s all about the energy you put in. But you can’t complain that you don’t get the go-getter girls when you just want to put the coffee in the can and be lazy. You get the girls who want something reliable. But over time they change as well. It’s a fluid system. The ideal for her is to have a guy who has all the good parts of Starbucks with all the reliability of Maxwell House, but the ideal for you is to just be Maxwell House that she thinks is Starbucks. So in the end it will have to be a compromise somewhere in that mix. Translation: people aren’t robots that only operate in binary, and they shift over time. What somebody wants today, they may not want tomorrow. You have to play with the throttle to get what you want. It’s not always going to work with everybody. But the point is that if you are lazy, you will only attract lazy people who don’t want anything exciting.

If you go to the extremes, things stop making sense. Most times that doesn’t happen, for good reasons. You have to think less black and white. You do understand that there are two different styles, but trying to rationalize “how do I be totally style A but still get the benefits of Style B” is a waste of energy.

Chodedickbody · 2019-01-16T02:00:31+00:00

Confidence is doing what you want because you want to do it. If you want to do the nice guy approach because it works for you and that's what you actually want to do as opposed to wanting to do something else but not knowing how, girls will pick up on that confidence.

I take the nice guy (not "niceguys") approach, I have a very low libido so I "friendzone" myself often. Girls find that confident as fuck. I don't inherently want to have sex with anyone, I'm just along for the ride and if the vibe is right it happens.

The results of that approach is that you won't necessarily get a lot of female attention or sex, but the experiences you do have will be that much more fun and memorable.

Confident guys aren't mean, arrogant, cocky, etc. Confident guys just handle themselves knowing that every decision they make is their decision and they put their pride and passion into every choice they make or thing they say.

So to close out this essay, do what you want to do and that's what will make you confident.

abandonliberty · 2019-01-16T06:41:35+00:00

It sounds like you're reading way too much shit and are confused by all the rules and contradicting information. I recommend picking a single source, like Mark Manson's Models, and just focusing on it.

ntipz011 · 2019-01-16T01:26:25+00:00

Does that mean I'm not confident if I like nice guy approach(even tho I know it's not effective at all). It just feels natural for me, and I want to do it(which should mean I'm confident after all?)

Feeling comfortable with your usual behavior =/= feeling confident in your chances of success

Bad guy/Badass how does one click with ever walking up to a girl? Like doesn't it ruin your value-persona? How do ones ever ask out girl without losing value-"bad guy style

I have no idea what you mean so I'll just guess. Badass guys just go for what they want, they don't care if the process hurt their feelings or not. Asking a girl out is the most effective way to get her out.

how does guy make girl desperate of him?

It's a result of the process, not the goal of the process. If that's your goal, you might have neediness/attention issues.

In order to get a gf you need to get into state, when you don't need one. What's the point then?

Being in state allows you to access your better self. Your mind basically shifts to filter out all that is negative and only lets you have positive thoughts. Why would anyone not want to be in this state ?
Also, being in state helps with everything in your life, not only for dating (which it does), not only for finding a gf.

He literally have sent 10 messages as his opener to a girl. I couldn't even imagine this one to work

why?

slightly taller than I am(but he did not have it in his bio so idk if that matters.

it doesnt matter anyway

Is "be yourself 4Head" advice is best one after all?

It's one of the worst advice anyone could give you

Murfdigidy · 2019-01-16T17:00:12+00:00

You can be a gentleman all while displaying alpha confident male tendencies.

Don't confuse being alpha with not being nice. A confident man is still nice he's just not a kiss ass. You see fake nice guys are being nice all to get a girl. Girls pick up on this fake nice and are turned off by it, because it's blatant easy to spot, and not sexy. Don't be nice because you want to get in a girls pants be nice because you are truly a nice person. Tons of total assholes play the nice guy routine, when really they're just assholes.

The key is frame, I am always polite, I hold doors for girls, I make sure to hold her hand if she's getting up or out of a car for example. but I'm not a pushover if a girl is snooty Im not gonna be a pushover I'm gonna tell her to get a grip. I'm also a ball buster I will call her a Dork or tell her she's being needy all while I maintain my morals... hold the door for her and other gentlemanly duties.

Girls want a nice guy, they just want one that has a backbone

Title	Few things I still don't get
Author	Bodka888888
Upvotes	14
Comments	12
Date	January 15, 2019 10:25 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/age5i6/few_things_i_still_dont_get/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/few-things-i-still-dont-get.1460591 https://theredarchive.com/post/1460591

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