Hey I haven't made a post in a while here, and this is something that has been on my mind a lot. Watching guys go through the process of becoming more attractive, I can't help but use this analogy of what I have been calling the "sweet spot".

Basically the idea is that everything functions best when we find the proper balance. Basically that nothing is right or wrong, that things are either in balance or out of balance. When we find the right balance, I call that the Sweet Spot.

So, for example, it's well known that confidence is attractive. BUT, too much confidence, and you start seeming weird. People can't connect with you, or they may think your some egotistical douche or whatever.

Typically guys who aren't having success with women are lacking confidence, so we universally prescribe that they act more confidently. Be aware though, that everything has its limits.

Vulnerability is usually seen as unattractive in men. The reality is that it's only unattractive when you are too vulnerable. Only when you are so vulnerable that you seem weak and at mercy to your feelings. First, you want to always show that you are capable of controlling yourself. You are master of your domain. Once you demonstrate that type of inner strength, then it is actually very attractive to express some vulnerability. It allows not only for a genuine connection, but also for her to feel safe with you, because she feels that you are at least sensitive enough not to harm her.

And the list goes on. For everything there is a sweet spot. You are either expressing something too much, or not enough.

A good way to help yourself find that sweet spot is to go overboard. If you are lacking confidence, then be too confident for a while. Push it to the limits, feel that, and then scroll back and experiment until you find that sweet spot. With enough experience, you can actually get a feeling as to where that sweet spot is.

Now I know that acting confidently isn't the only thing you should do to develop your confidence (though it is an important ingredient). There are other things, like your self respect, feelings of self-worth, feeling deserving, etc... It's all connected.

You can't limit yourself to just finding one sweet spot. You need to look at everything. If you're out of balance in one area, it's like because you are out of balance in other areas too.

It's everything. Your physical health, for instance, is all about finding the right balance manly with your diet and exercise. And how are you going to feel confident if you also feel like a lazy slob?

So figure out where you're out of balance. And realize that there are probably many other areas out of balance that are keeping you from finding balance in these other areas.

Find those sweet spots! I'm constantly finding new ones. It's never ending.