First first date in four years

ThrowawayPUA · 2010-10-07T20:04:41+00:00

I would just make one suggestion, don't talk about your ex at all. Even if she asks, just say something like "oh, that's ancient history, I don't want to talk about it."

Just talk to each other, don't spend the whole conversation worrying about what to say next. Listen to what she says and she will tell what you need to know to interact with her. There's a pua saying, listen closely to a woman and she will tell you how to seduce her.

msgbonehead · 2010-10-07T16:44:31+00:00

First suggestion, be completely confident!

I recommend that over dinner you talk about her interests and your common interests. Before dinner have several plans of things to do and after dinner choose the one she's most likely to enjoy based on your dinner conversations. Sorry that's not really specific but I think it's probably you're best plan.

MuchMouthen · 2010-10-07T20:26:44+00:00

Don't put yourself down. I can imagine you are down on yourself and the experience of your last relationship.

Try to focus on not displaying insecurity instead of trying to be Mr. Super-Confident-Guy, which is probably going to come across as fake (since you are hurting from your recent loss). If this sounds like the same thing, it's not. If you come across as too full of yourself in what you say, but are broadcasting the exact opposite in your body language, etc, it will come across as if you are being dishonest.

Do what your mom always told you to do: "be yourself". That doesn't mean be nice. People are usually overnice when they want something. Act like a cool companion who might fuck her senseless if the right opportunity happened to present itself, but don't act like you need it to validate yourself. You can take it or leave it. Don't act asexual. She wants you to want to fuck her, and you shouldn't ever feel ashamed of that. She wants it just as bad (from the right guy). The way I prefer to think of it is to act like she is your semi-annoying yet somewhat endearing kid sister. If she is your kid sister, do not fuck her.

FLIRT. Be fun. Be funny. Don't doubt yourself. You're a catch. Have a great time, and she will too. Don't put too much importance on any sort of outcome. Just go with it.

Split the tab.

After dinner, try to find a place you can go (depending on the time) where there are lots of distractions and things to talk about. That will make it easier for you to find things to talk about and make jokes about, make fun of her about, etc. If it's late, maybe a bar where you can play darts or a pool hall. Try to win. If it's not late, walk around a mall with her and throw shit at her. They love that.

IANAPUA_Yet · 2010-10-07T17:05:30+00:00

What do y'all usually do after dinner on a first date?

We don't do dinner on a first date.

Check the dating section on the welcome page.

Edit: This is your opportunity to be spontaneous. Look through the list and find something(s) you like. As soon as you've found something, call her up and tell her dinner is off, we're doing something more fun. Don't tell her the whole plan. Just give her enough info so she can dress appropriately, get there without much hassle and eat ahead of time if necessary. Then end the phone call.

17thgrade · 2010-10-07T16:34:46+00:00

Ice cream and a walk could be nice and friendly depending on weather and where you are. I would recommend that.

youraveragereddituse · 2010-10-07T19:35:51+00:00

Sporting events are good first dates. Hockey game or something like that, I guess its football season to, so you could always try that.

lemisanthrope · 2010-10-07T21:32:20+00:00

I don't remember how to do this and I am terrified.

...

It's not somebody I feel extraordinarily attracted to... I just hope to go out and have a good time...

What the fuck are you so nervous about then?

AngledLuffa · 2010-10-07T22:12:15+00:00

Bowling is fun. Rock climbing is great fun but not so good after dinner. It's also not so good for transitioning to kissing, as you're both sweaty and tired, she'll probably want to take a shower, etc. On the other hand, your chances of a second date will be very high. Indoor mini-golf would be great, especially if you can find somewhere with a lot of people so you get stuck behind a large crowd and have to figure out something to do while waiting (hint: that's when you kiss her).

cactipus · 2010-10-08T22:31:04+00:00

Don't do a movie, especially not a gore-fest. Seriously, you won't be able to talk with her enough. Women love to talk about you and themselves while on dates. Dinner is good to start. I live in an area with a few big city parks and a sculpture garden, so I like to go out to dinner and then go out for a walk around the garden or lake. That gives you more opportunity to talk

EthicalReasoning · 2010-10-07T20:48:25+00:00

spend as little as possible, she hasn't done anything to earn your money

no dinners

no movies

no shows

nothing expensive

ask her what time she usually has dinner, lets say she says 6, say "great i'll pick you up about 7"

Title	First first date in four years
Author	lemisanthrope
Upvotes	8
Comments	19
Date	October 7, 2010 4:27 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/do4fv/first_first_date_in_four_years/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/first-first-date-in-four-years.1312172 https://theredarchive.com/post/1312172

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