Flirty after several good dates but doesn’t make more dates

professionalfumblr · 2026-05-05T19:49:02+00:00

Bro, ask her when she is free, then schedule a date for that day. When she reached out with the meme, that was your opportunity to ask .. “so what’s your availability like? It’d be great to see you”, you tried to set a day for the next day not knowing her availability.

vertascend · 2026-05-06T08:45:38+00:00

You know what your biggest problem is…. You’re making small talk over messages…. It’s a sure fire way to kill attraction…. Get her on a date in person and work from there… my guess is that you aren’t escalating properly… you need to get a little bolder

InTheNow_lifestyle · 2026-05-06T15:57:19+00:00

There's some more context to be had here for sure but...this is one of those situations where everything feels like it’s going well in person, but the follow-through likely matching it.

After 6–7 good dates, you shouldn’t really be guessing this much about whether she wants to see you again...at least in my opinion and from what I've heard from other guys. That’s usually a sign that something in the post-date dynamic (I'll get to this below as well) is a bit off....probably not necessarily the dates themselves.

The pattern you described is actually pretty common:

A strong in-person connection (from what it's sounding like)
Then low initiative / vague responses in between.

Is that a fair(ish) assessment^? A lot of guys can read this as “oh she’s still interested I'm sure, just busy,”. But it's really just that her interest isn't building in the way you probably think it is.

I wouldn’t keep asking over and over. That tends to "lower your position" and can make it feel a bit one-sided. Instead...reset it slightly. Next time she reaches out, keep it light, but be a bit more direct:

“I’ve enjoyed hanging out with you, but I’m not really looking for something that just stays in the ‘texting and memes’ zone. If you’re down to actually make plans, I’m in...otherwise no worries.”

It's cool, it's calm, it's clear....most importantly, it's an attractive reply and trait to have in yourself. Also, it gently forces some clarity without being super heavy or needy (NOT attractive).

If she’s in, she’ll meet you there. If she’s not, you stop wasting your own time trying to revive something that isn’t progressing. A lot of this stuff doesn’t actually fall apart on the date...it’s what happens right after that slowly shifts the dynamic. Does that make sense? Good luck dude - cheers.

joggingjunkie · 2026-05-05T20:00:51+00:00

They were good and sexual?

But did you have sex tho?

ReindeerFun3762 · 2026-05-05T22:08:53+00:00

I had 4 dates with a girl awhile ago and she wasn't very playful or flirty.

Discopotatoz · 2026-05-05T23:57:49+00:00

If you've had sex a bunch of times and she's liking your vibe, it sounds like you pushed the indifference too hard at a point where she's starting to screen you for relationship material. At this point you should be having inside jokes and telling her to come over cuz you can't wait to fuck her brains out and nothing should be awkward like this. By all means stay frosty but you have to start showing measured vulnerability or you risk coming off like you're only interested in a casual arrangement. And take the fkn lead, never wait for her to pitch a date. Never leave the onus on the woman to start the process of anything that matters.. you're the man, it's your mission. You make the rules. You set the dates.

Purple-Steak9737 · 2026-05-06T19:29:33+00:00

Take the others advice but know that she’s talking to someone else

Title	Flirty after several good dates but doesn’t make more dates
Author	sospecialsuchforce
Upvotes	5
Comments	13
Date	May 5, 2026 7:35 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1t4py8e/flirty_after_several_good_dates_but_doesnt_make/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/flirty-after-several-good-dates-but-doesnt-make.1579682 https://theredarchive.com/post/1579682

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