For whatever reason I'm really uncomfortable being touched by other people.

2010-11-17T03:27:11+00:00

Don't go to the airport.

woowoozle · 2010-11-17T03:42:32+00:00

I used to be the same way - never cared all that much for being touched. being tickled was akin to torture - I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate being tickled. I'm also the control guy (which made me the boring but trusted guy - I had very little sexual activity when I was a younger guy) and always drove and made sure everyone got home safely.

But I'm much better now :-)

I'm also a lot older and I've learned that I can trust (some) people more and open up a bit and relax. Yes, it is a trust issue - for some reason you haven't been able to trust the people around you to care about your own well-being. Once you start trusting and being able to recognize those people who can be trusted, things should be easier. You don't mention your age but, assuming you are under 25, chances are most of your peers really aren't that trustworthy - they're still too immature to put your safety high enough for your comfort.

Start with a really good friend and address this. Do something like Outward Bound together and develop trust. Make some kind of pact with each other that sets a minimum expectation. For instance, one of my best friends went in the army after high school where they are drilled to trust and depend on the other guys in the unit. Having each other's back extends out and they have lots of rules. Since he got stationed back near me we hang out a bit and he's taught me some of the rules to live by (never leave a strip joint alone being one of them). When we were young I never would have trusted him to get me home or give me advice. Now I trust him with my life. Partly it is because we're older but mostly it's because we have an understanding of what our duty is to each other (bros before hos) and we trust each other.

In dealings with women, now, I'm better able to establish what my own expectations are so that I can trust them more and enjoy being touched more. The more you do it the easier it gets. You'll eventually realize that the benefits of trusting 100 times is worth the 1 time you get screwed over.

NolFito · 2010-11-17T04:00:26+00:00

I've been there. I came from Spain to Australia, back in Spain it was very unusual for girls to hug, or in general being too close to a guy (outside of a relationship, note that I was less than 14 at the time). In Australia however, girls do hug guys to say hi and bye (yes even in school) and in general are there. So me being me, I found it really strange, and one of the girls from university called me on it. I guess I wasn't really too aware of it, but apparently I would just kinda freeze and not reciprocate. However, they girls continued doing it and eventually the thing just wore off, and I just embraced it.

cheddarchexmix · 2010-11-17T07:20:13+00:00

You just need lots of practice. This post has great advice.

intjpua · 2010-11-17T17:21:18+00:00

If it's not a phobia brought on by childhood trauma, then it's just something you need to overcome through practice. I grew up in a family that rarely hugs, so I was uncomfortable with hugs as a kid. But, I worked my way through it. It is something you can acclimate yourself to, just like any other kind of social behavior. Most of us here started off really uncomfortable starting conversations with strangers. As far as I can tell, the vast majority of PUAs still get approach anxiety now and then. These are just things we have to power through.

Figure out some situations where you can be touchy without extreme discomfort, and work up from there.

philosarapter · 2010-11-17T18:32:06+00:00

The only way to conquer your fear is to face it head on: Get yourself a bed with atleast 7-8 women in it and force yourself to dive into all their touchy feeling hands all over your body. Itll be tough at first, but you'll become a better man for it.

akaak86 · 2010-11-17T02:35:31+00:00

maybe you just like being touched by guys???

Title	For whatever reason I'm really uncomfortable being touched by other people.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	9
Date	November 17, 2010 2:29 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/e7aqw/for_whatever_reason_im_really_uncomfortable_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/for-whatever-reason-im-really-uncomfortable-being.1313030 https://theredarchive.com/post/1313030

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