I've been a bit quiet with FRs for awhile because I've been seeing someone. However, I'm still interested in keeping my options open, so I've been going on dates occasionally. None of them have been very interesting, so I wouldn't bother mentioning them. And, to be honest, I was purposely going on bad dates. I would agree to boring coffee or dinner dates, not kino, not escalate, etc... just to see what it was like after dating my girlfriend. Obviously it didn't measure up, and wouldn't consider any of the girls a viable "trade-up", so to speak.

So, a couple weeks ago, a Korean girl sent me a message on OKC. Right away, that was a big IOI. It's pretty rare that I get messaged first there. I quickly got her texting ID and transferred to conversation to there.

Obviously, while I'm dating someone I see mainly on weekends, a weekend date with the Korean girl wasn't really going to happen. Besides, she said she doesn't drink and she goes to church. I didn't really place a lot of priority on this girl. We both have heavy work schedules, so finding a time to meet took a couple weeks. During this time, we'd go through periods of texting that would last maybe 30 minutes, but then I wouldn't text her for days.

We were originally supposed to meet Monday, but I cancelled because I was really sick. I hadn't talked to her since Monday (now it's Thursday), and this morning she sent me a text asking what I was doing today. I responded that I didn't have plans and suggested coffee. We quickly agreed on a time and place, then I didn't text her at all until I got home from work. An abridged version of the conversation:

Me (8:30): I'm eating. Where are you?

Her (8:40): I'm still at work. Do you think you can come to X? Can't make it on time. Stuck at work.

Me (8:44): Finish and text me

Her (8:44): So you can't?

Me (8:45): I'd prefer not to. I'm comfortable here.

Her (8:54): Which exit?

And that was it. I gave her the subway stop and exit to come to, and she did. The last thing I wanted to was to take my ass further away from home to go on a bad date with a Korean girl who was running late. I stood my ground, and I was willing for it to be a deal breaker. In the end, she made the decision to come to me. Lesson: Don't be afraid to lose the girl. Put yourself first. Obviously, that doesn't mean don't be a completely unaccommodating prick, but I had no reason to bed over backwards for a girl I'd never met, so I didn't.

She warned me she was going to be shy, and that she might feel awkward meeting someone from OKC because she'd never done it before. I didn't really have high hopes for the night at all. She was pretty cute when I met her. Super short. I'd give her like a HB7. Unfortunately, because of a recent cold snap, she was all bundled up so I couldn't check out her body, but I know she does yoga. Part of the allure of meeting her. She immediately started to complain about the cold, so we ducked into a Smoothie King to get something warm to drink.

Now, here was where the date was supposed to be boring as hell and I was just going to waste time until she wanted to leave, then I'd go home alone. Didn't happen like that. She noticed my short fingernails and commented about it being a bad habit. My favorite thing to do after that is:

Me: So what is your bad habit?

Her: Masturbation!

Me: Me too! High five!

That right there blew me away. I don't think I've ever had a Korean girl be that forward at all. This was the first moment I had a suspicion that things might get a bit more interesting before the night ended. Before long, she was talking about how she wished she didn't have to wear a bra/underwear, reaching across the table to feel my arms, rub my chest, and take a peek down my shirt by pulling the collar down. Lesson: Don't wait for IOIs to escalate, but if you see an IOI, go for the kill. I think this was a bit of an extreme case, and it caught me completely off guard, but I rolled with it well and escalated according. Normally, on this kind of date, I'd have been happy with some hair flipping and maybe some hand-holding.

At this point, I'm thinking it's on like Donkey Kong. The Smoothie King shuts down at 10:30 PM, so we head out. I had mentioned I have a motorcycle, which intrigued her, I suggested we go to my place and take a look at it. With all the signs she's telegraphing me, there's no reason not to suggest it. The girl is gift wrapping some sex for me. Along the way she snuggles up into my arm and hides her face behind my shoulder as we walk into the wind. Game over, man. This goose is cooked.

We get back to my place and she asks me to drive her back to the subway station so she can go home. "Yeah, sure. Let's just go inside a minute. I need to use the bathroom." "Yeah, me too!" Now she's inside my apartment and all I have to do is QB sneak over the goal line. But it wasn't meant to be. After I came out, she immediately suggested leaving. I said it was too cold to go out again so soon and suggested a movie. Then she said she had to go home because if she was out too late, she'd wake up her nephew when she went home (she lives with her divorced sister). I didn't really wanna push it, so I said sure and we got ready to leave. Lesson: I gave up pretty quickly on this because of the LMR, but I did weakly try to get her to stay. Considering it wasn't a super physical date, though we had talked about sex, it wasn't like I was getting LMR after a night of making out. It felt a bit more genuine, so I didn't really care much. Either way, if the LMR ends up becoming a certain thing, there's no reason to get huffy about it. Remain cool. Getting upset about LMR just makes you look like a chump.

One of my favorite feelings is the sensation of driving a motorcycle with a girl wrapped around you. If you don't have a motorcycle, I highly suggest investing in one. It's amazing. I picked up a little 125cc scooter for about $500. Best $500 I've ever spent. Anyway, I park near the subway station and we slowly walk into it. At this point, I've got my arm around her. As we walk to the platform, we stop and I set up another date for Monday after work. I invited her for dinner and a movie at my place, and she agreed. We stood there for a couple minutes with my arms around her as she tried to stay warm. When her train was coming, I told her she had to leave, and she looked up at me, and I knew it was the moment. I went in for a kiss. It was disappointingly short. More of a prolonged peck than a real kiss. Oh well, considering I was expecting an awful date that I'd regret, things went pretty damn well. Lesson: Set up the Day 2 before the end of Day 1. Sure, she can always cancel, but you may as well get that "yes" before she has "cooled off". Particularly if during the date things escalated, you should be looking to escalate the next date right from the get go. Date 1 was a bullshit coffee date, but the second date will begin right at my apartment. She knows what's up.

Short Afterward

She texted me right after she got on the subway, while I was writing this. She thanked me for the ride. "You can ride me any time ;)". When a girl gives you a chance in text game to be dirty, take it. It's as good as text game gets. I'm usually pretty minimalistic, but I can be playful with it given the chance. We talked a little about the kiss and the date Monday, but nothing else super notable before I wished her a good weekend. I probably won't text her until Sunday night or Monday afternoon.

One last edit

In the short conversation after the text, she asked what I was looking for. I told her I didn't want anything serious, that I was looking for something fun, but more than just friends. She said "that's good". When I asked her what she was looking for, she said she wasn't sure, but that she was "comfortable" with me. One of the things I've always said is be up front with girls about what kind of relationship you want. I stood a good chance of scaring her off with the whole "no relationship" thing, but a lot more girls are cool with that than you'd think, and they appreciate when guys are honest about it. Lying about your intentions will only end with unnecessary drama.

Also, another one of the "bad date" girls still texts me. We have a running joke about her neighbors running an orgy den. She always texts me first and it always immediately turns into a conversation about sex. She's coming over to my apartment next week with food. Lesson: Even "bad dates" can yield results. Holy shit.