Intro: Hey guys, gonna keep this as short as I can since the FR is quite long. I've been into seddit material for the last year, so I'm not a total newbie, but I basically started from scratch a year ago and have been progressing ever since. This date was my first "typical" date scenario, as in going out with a girl sober and one on one. My usual environment for interacting with women is drunken fraternity parties, so this was something completely new to me.

Background: My date, we’ll call her Sarah, is a freshman (I’m a sophomore) at my university and grew up in the same hometown as me (the university is in another state, so it’s an uncommon connection that we have already). Additionally, she went to a rival high school of mine and grew up 10 minutes from me, but we never knew each other until we were introduced at a party a few months ago. I went on a double date with her, one of my good friends who is in her sorority (we’ll call her Jessie) and a fraternity brother of mine a couple weeks ago, and we all had a blast. After the date, Jessie texted me “sooo Sarah thinks you’re cute”. And with that, I made plans for a D2.

The Date: Leading up to the date, I’m fairly nervous. I’ve never been on a one on one date before with a girl I am particularly into. She sends me a text saying she’s on her way, and I do my best to calm myself. I put on my favorite “warm up” song on my ipod, and get myself into the zone. I would highly recommend everyone find a song they love, and play it once every time before they go out. It’s a huge help to me. Additionally, I was very fortunate, in that I went into the date knowing the girl already liked me. This is why people stress “assume attraction”, it gives you so much more confidence. And in reality, if she’s agreed to go on a date with you alone, she’s probably interested!

As soon as she arrived, I started working my magic. When I texted her, I alluded to going to dinner at an average-boring campus restaurant that we would walk to (which I never had plans of doing). I pulled out my keys and said “I was kidding about (average campus restaurant) by the way, we’re going off campus”. I feel like this was a huge success, within 5 seconds I had conveyed my interest in her in a subtle way (electing to go for a more “formal” date than simply dinner on campus) and also surprised her in a really good way.

On the ride over, I felt like the conversation was a bit slow at times. But I made sure to speak confidently, laugh and smile often, and do my best to enjoy myself. What you say isn’t nearly as important as the manner in which you say it, if you’re having fun and appear relaxed, its going to make her that much more comfortable.

Side note, ALWAYS open the doors for girls! Not just the door to the restaurant, but car doors etc too! It’s a small thing that leaves a huge impression, and its traditionally courteous. This goes for all girls, not just girls you are sexually interested in too!

As we got to the restaurant, I made my first mistake of the night. The server asked “booth or table” and I instinctively asked for a booth (any time I’m not on a date, that is my preference, booths are much more comfortable IMO) and immediately realized my mistake. If you ask for a booth, you’re going to be sitting across from her, making kino nearly impossible, whereas at a table you can sit diagonally and kino is much easier. That said, I didn’t let it fluster me too much, it was by no means a deal breaker.

I decided to start off the dinner conversation with a bang. You don’t need to worry about threading the conversation or bringing it around to what you want to talk about initially. Just do it. I sat down, stared deep into her eyes, smiled and said “Ok Sarah, lets hear it, what’s the craziest thing that’s happened to you your freshman year?” Always try to go with a very broad and exciting question to get things started. And be prepared for her to defer to you, a question like that is hard to come up with an answer off the top of your head. This is, of course what she did, and from that point, the conversation became us swapping funny stories of drunken escapades over the last couple months. Since I wasn’t able to kino very effectively, I focused almost entirely on eye contact, and maintaining a strong, confident posture. Let me tell you, this is an incredibly powerful combination. I cannot tell you how many times I made her lose her train of thought just by staring deep into her eyes (ok, she might have had the same effect on me once or twice).

After about 20 minutes of this, I came to a sudden realization. First off, things were going incredibly well. She was smiling and laughing a ton and seemed genuinely comfortable, and time seemed to be flying by. Also, she would constantly meet my gaze for a few seconds, and then look away, smile, and begin playing with her hair. I’d always just assumed these to be basic IOIs but it hit me: I was making HER nervous. I’d never even looked at it that way at all, that girls were even capable of getting the same butterflies I was oh so accustomed to. As soon as I realized that, I got a huge confidence boost, knowing I was having such an effect on her was both comforting and satisfying.

Our food arrived, but neither of us were very interested in eating. The conversation was flowing exceedingly well. One tip I have, do your best to actually LISTEN to what she is saying. First of all, its polite, and girls definitely appreciate it when you do or say something later on which alludes to something they said earlier. Secondly, the more you are concentrating on what she is saying, the more easily you will be able to think of relevant stories or thoughts of your own to connect with hers.

I decided to play a game which had worked well with a couple girls at a party earlier that week, the “this or that” game (basically you give them two choices, they pick one, and explain why, its really that simple). Also, try to preface the question in a way which makes her qualify herself. For example, I said “Hey, I’ve got a great idea, lets play a game” (I explained the game) and said “Its gonna be fun, think you can handle it?” with a smile. This sort of interaction during a date is, in my opinion, what makes the difference between an average date, and one she’s going to remember. Try your best to be different, and just genuinely enjoy yourself, and she’ll be sure to have fun as well. Anyways, through my questions, I began to establish a light sexual frame. I believe this was crucial because I was more or less unable to kino, but still managed to get her thoughts going down that path. Some examples of questions I asked, “Guys with great hair or great eyes”, “Do guys look better in suits or tuxes, ties or bowties”, “big muscles or a cut chest”, and “When a guy’s about to kiss you, what’s sexier: if he puts his hands on your face, or in your hair”. She really started getting into it, and reciprocated by asking me about my preferences on girls outfits, eye and hair color, and other things. One thing to keep in mind, if she asks you something like “brunettes or blondes” (she’s brunette) don’t lie! I honestly am a blonde guy, and although I clearly like her and think she’s attractive, I answered honestly. Basically, don’t cater your answers to what you think they’re looking for.

Dinner flew by, we talked for nearly two hours and hardly touched our food. Some other good conversation topics that worked well were “what’s the most embarrassing thing you do regularly”, music, and crazy family stories. The conversation was a great mix of lighthearted and funny topics, along with a few serious ones which allowed both us to get to know each other on a more personal level as well.

The check came, and I paid (I would suggest men always pay, no matter what, but I’m southern and that’s kind of a cultural thing/how I was raised, but definitely pay if you were the one who suggested the date), and we were on our way. At this point I started getting nervous again for some reason. We were on the move again, the opportunity for kino was there, but I hadn’t done any for 2 hours. How would she receive it? She’s clearly into me, I need to go for the kiss. This kind of thinking messes you up, try your best to just live in the moment, and go with what feels natural.

My second mistake of the night came shortly after, as we were walking back to the car. We crossed the street and were in a pretty isolated area and instinctively I thought to myself “stop, pull her in close, stare in her eyes, and kiss her”. It was one of those moments where she was talking and I was only half listening and half paying attention to what I said in response. But I hesitated, and that was the end of it. As soon as you hesitate, you will talk yourself out of it. It is imperative, as soon as you feel the impulse, Do it!

After that I drove her back to her dorm, and hugged her good night. She texted me shortly after thanking me for dinner, and to say she had a lot of fun. Have a third date set up in the near future, if people are interested I can post a field report for how that one goes. Hope ya’ll enjoyed, please feel free to critique me on what I did well, and what I could have done better.