Be in Starbucks waiting for a friend, phone in hand. HB8 walks in, nice legs. As she stands at register, waiting for drink, for some reason i didn't give a fuck. She looked at me. I walked towards her, looked her in the eye, EYED her up and down in a VERY obvious way, she STARED at me, wideyed like I was about to mug her.

THEN, I stopped midway, probably thinking oh fuck I'm gonna get arrested, pulled my phone out and called my friend (pussying out)

I then sit down, with an empty seat next to me. Elbow on bar, typing on phone, manspreading like an asshole. Fuck it. She comes RIGHT NEXT TO ME, asks me if this seat is taken. I say nope, go right ahead. Not sure if it's the only seat available, I think it was, her other option was next to two huge guys, and with trash. She STANDS there for a good 15 seconds fidgeting with her bag, then I say,

"seats are for people, not bags". I forgot to smile. Survey says girls prefer guys who don't smile. She says "sorry, yeah thanks", takes bag off sits next to me. Fuck me.

15 seconds of silence, as she sits facing window while i sit facing way from window like this:

her --> v ^ <-- me manspreading

a good 3 minutes of silence.

I then look at her drink (it was a MINI frap, you know Starbucks has MINI cups for fraps, like literally 2 inches tall) I then say, I never knew starbucks had fraps that small (now that I think back I should've said something clever like "is that a drink for baby?")

She says "yeah", "happy hour discount?", "no, not happy hour discount". Cold, rapid, one-word answers.

She whips out papers out of her bag, which look like student homework, and starts grading papers.

I told her to watch after my phone while i get a drink, hold my spot, she says okay. I get my drink. Come back. Finish drink. No talk.

I notice her papers, "are you a teacher?" "yes, im a saturday school teacher" (details changed to avoid ID) "wow, so you're that teacher that gives out homework on weekends, you just made me think of bad memories" "she says oh yeah?" "yeah, i've actually been a student (smirk)" (< I don't know what the fuck I was thinking, come over and hit me upside the head, if you will) "(polite giggle), oh yeah? i've been a student, too"

5 minutes silence.

My friends come over. I go outside to meet my friends. "well table's all yours!" "thanks" God fuck me.

She's pretty cute. What can I have done differently?