So in response to Tofu's call for more FRs, here's a little FR on an OKC date I had last night, which ended at 3 am with my bed all crooked. I can't say I feel like this involved a huge amount of skill on my part – she dug me from the beginning, and I basically just had to not fuck it up. I think the inner game stuff I've been working on helped.

Other concepts discussed below: shit tests, comfort, messaging twice, when to take her home

THE SETUP

So about a week ago, I get this message from a hot girl on OKC:

her: Not that I even use OKCupid for its intended purpose (finding random hookups) but I do waste more time than I generally like to admit on here, and would like to inform you that you have The. Best. Self-Summary. Ever.

She looks like a solid HB8, and we have a lot in common, so I'm interested. Challenge #1: her profile and message say she's just looking for "friends."

me: so you're the perfect person to explain this perplexing "join OKC to make friends and take quizzes" thing. it seems like going to a crackhouse to do crossword puzzles. can't you guys be wholesome somewhere else? :-D

NB: if we meet IRL i will call you <nickname> sometimes. fair warning.

The last line is a tease: she mentioned a minor physical feature and I'm poking fun of it with a nickname.

her: Yeah I'm <nicknamed>. Whatchu gonna do about it?

I technically joined to get tail...ended up being the case that OkC is rife with either a.) creepsters or b.) the socially awkward. So I've found plenty of people to chat with but nobody who meets my impossibly high standards.

OK, so at this point I'm feeling like it's practically a done deal. The "watchu gonna do about it" can probably be roughly translated as "please fuck me," and the admission that she joined OKC to get laid is another very good sign.

But she ended with challenge #2, our first shit test. Back as an AFC, I would've immediately started qualifying myself to her, but as we all know, that's a sign of insecurity. Instead I turn it right back at her:

me: i know, right? if we're so attractive, why aren't we meeting people IRL like normal human beings do, lol. and here you are messaging batman,* pretty much the creepiest/most socially awkward person ever. you're shit out of luck, <nick>.

and anyway, how would you have time for hooking up with real live human people while also <doing business activity she mentioned>?

*My profile makes a joke that I'm Batman.

Here I'm intentionally misinterpreting her insinuation about OKC guys into a broader suggestion about everyone on OKC, including her, and laughing about the whole thing, demonstrating I'm not worried that I might be creepy or awkward, and then I even agree & amplify, the best generic response to a shit test.

And the "shit out of luck" line was pure gold I think – I took the nickname I gave her earlier and shortened it further, which doubles the effect – the effect of nicknames being intimacy/familiarity/comfort.

her: dude, business is business, sex is sex--the two should never mingle, but you definitely need to make time for both. and if you're batman, can i borrow the batmobile? taking home groceries by bike is getting fucking annoying

OK, she's pretty much begging for it now. Time to date-close!

Sidenote to AFCs, creepsters, and feminists: What I mean by "begging for it" is, "she seems like she would like to be fucked, assuming I don't kill the attraction somehow in the process of escalation." In other words, it doesn't mean I think I've gotten consent, it just means I think I will eventually get consent. /dontbearapist

THE FUCKUP & SAVE

So I send:

me: whoah, i just met you and you already want to borrow my car?

tell you what. let's pry ourselves away from our keyboards monday – you bike down mass ave, i'll meet you on comm ave at 7 with the batmobile, and we'll go watch <relevant movie> and make fun of <actor>. deal?

But... no response. Several days pass with no response, and I'm like, "Really? I thought I had this one in the bag."

And the I realized where I fucked up. I don't have a car, so in my brain, the reference to the "Batmobile" is funny, and obviously refers to my bike. But she doesn't know any of that: as far as she knows, I'm asking her to get in my car within seconds/minutes of meeting IRL, which is super sketchy.

So I break the "never message twice rule" to send the following comfort-restoring message:

me: oh and FYI, the batmobile these days is a bike. lowering my carbon footprint and all, you know.

Immediately she writes back:

her: Haha nice....I share your fondness for any vehicle which (technically) gets infinite miles to the gallon.

<logistics>

THE DATE

She ends up running behind and having to be super late, and ever since watching Blueprint I don't take that kind of shit personally – it just doesn't bother me. We eventually both arrive at a trendy café and chat over coffee & tea. I hug on arrival – a good way to start out IMHO. She's not quite as cute as her photos (probably a few years old), but she's still cute, and I can see wanting to make her a regular girl.

The date is pretty standard stuff, so I won't go into much depth – I bounce her to a bar after about an hour, where she's pretty receptive to my kino (and initiating some herself, big IOI), and after a bit I suggest we bounce to a hotel bar near my house, since some of my friends are there. She lets me put my arm around her on the subway. But we can't find my friends when we get to the hotel.

Area for improvement: I feel like I was drawing this date out too much, and I should've taken her home right then and there, if not sooner – there's a whole style of fast pickup I remember reading about (Brad P via DelightfulWhite?), and I think I need to learn from that stuff, if only to get home sooner and actually sleep 8 hours, lol.

Instead, we leave the hotel bar for a different bar nearby, and finally at closing time I take her home, remembering to provide a reason/pretext – "we've got this awesome patio and hammock you should see." She sort of strangely mutters, "A hammock sounds really nice," which maybe meant "shut up about hammocks and just fuck me already," or maybe meant, "thanks for giving me a pretext, I needed one." We start making out on the hammock, and then go inside for a rousing game of hide-the-salami.

She left after that, saying she had to get up early. At the door she says, "That was fun... though unexpected." LOL

TL;DR: Bitches love nicknames