What up seddit,

Long time lurker. Brief personal background: 23, male, 8 months single from a 3.5 year relationship. Needless to say I have been trying to sharpen my skills after being dormant for so long. I'm here to share, get feedback, and look for advice for the future.

I am 3 weeks in to living in a new city, alone. Per your advice, I've made rounds at local bars and befriended the various staff. This works wonders for your game. Not only do you have a few "safe spots", you immediately qualify yourself to those who notice you getting a greeting to your arrival.

I decide after work tonight that I feel like trying to fly solo and see what happens. Pick the bar a few blocks down, as I have good rapport with the regular week-day bartender. Upon my arrival I see the crowd is pretty decent, as many are unwinding for the upcoming holiday. Perfect.

I walk in and see but one spot, in the middle-right, at the bar. I sit down between a group of HB3's to my left and 2 older women to the right. My bartender buddy is happy to see me, and immediately introduces me to the new bartender, an HB8, which is fine by me. I make some small talk with her as she gets my beer, tell her about my weekend, and an epic night cap at this very bar on Friday. I notice both parties to my sides, and a new group of HB 6's and 7's have heard this quick chat.

Bartender starts to serve the new group, and the older ladies take the cue to make room. I decide to open them for a quick confidence boost. (When AA is a problem, I like to start off with targets whom I see no potential threat of rejection in)

"Oh, I hope I didn't scare you away ladies!"

I kept it simple and witty. They respond with laughter and explain how they just got off a flight and would prefer a table with chairs, for their backs. Bingo. I made them smile, I appear confident, and a new group of ladies is taking their spot.

Now I have gotten a positive response from an open and qualified myself in everyone's eyes. Group of new chicks opens a tab, but the girl, HB6 mistakenly hands over a Chop't card. Attentive me sees it before anyone else (i was checking her out) and chime in "i don't think they accept that here". Simple, witty, observant. She realizes her mistake and laughs saying oh this must be a new policy. Continue banter with her and 1 other, saying some BS about the "new policy" being whack. After a few chuckles there is no more to be said, so I turn around and watch sports on TV.

I'm feeling good at this point, and can feel a positive vibe emanating, despite being at the bar no more than 10 minutes.

Continue to mind my own business and watch NBA, when an HB2 to my left says "omg im sorry for bumping you" as she gets up. She barely brushed me. However, I realize I've just been opened, so I strike back with "oh no my fault I shouldn't have had my leg so far out" (good/bad? Let me know) she says its fine and I ask them what they're up to, about the play they're headed to, and not much else. I just wanted to chat and build up some more confidence.

Bartender grabs me another beer, and I ask him to switch the channel to college football. As he turns to grab the remote I go "hey! Connor!" And point to an HB8 who was holding up an empty wine glass. He aborts his mission for me and helps out this fine lady. She offers a cute smile and mouths "thanks!" at me. At this point I'm feeling amazing. I've opened, been opened, and made a silent connection -- all within 30 minutes.

I decide its time for a smoke, so I head outside. HB8 follows me out and bums one, and I get her name, Lauren, and chat her up the whole time. I started with work (I know thats basic and sort of frowned upon/anything better?) And at the end ask her for her number, as she is also relatively new in town. She gives it to me no hesitation.

Go back inside to finish my drink and see the score. By this time, the older ladies are finishing up and actually come say Goodnight to me, which took me by surprise (granted they had to pay at the bar, so they weren't going out of their way). They leave.

The 2 girls from the bar tab thing (to my right) giggle and ask if those were my grandmas. I tell them no, but I was open for auditions. complete miss of a joke, but fuck it I'm awesome and am absolutely destroying it so far. I decide since I have some digits and have met some new folks I was gonna leave.

I say goodnight to my bartender who offers me one for the road, but as a means to apologize for my shitty joke I say not tonight but please take care of the girls to my right. The girls say thanks and introduce themselves, and I the same. I walk up to Lauren, my new friend whose number I have, and give her a quick hug goodnight and a long look right in her eyes. Then I about face and don't look back.

All in all this was less than 1 hour at my bar. I feel pretty good about it, and although I don't have many tips laid out, what happened can happen for anyone.

  • Being a regular helps -- knowing bartenders and bouncers will ease you in to a scene and qualify you.

  • Opening non threatening groups/individuals -- gives me that boost of confidence to further pursue.

  • Being observational/witty -- making them laugh is key, and it shows you know what in the fuck is going on.

Now, I seek advice from you, brethren. How could I better engage a girl than falling back on simple things (where do u work live etc.) Do you agree on opening non-perceived threats first? What's the text game going to be like for this Lauren chick?

I apologize in advance if the formatting is fucked. I am on a phone and will fix it in the morning when I get to work.

Thanks and stay classy.