I should probably say upfront that I'm still a total newb at this stuff, but I'm surprised at how much I've been able to progress with the help of this subreddit. A month ago I was walking to a bar, determined to go in solo, and I was practically shaking with fear. When I neared the door, my nerves got the better of me, and I turned tail back to my apartment. Two weeks ago I made it inside the bar, quickly drank a beer, and awkwardly pretended to take a phone call outside to leave. Last week, with the aid of some liquid courage, I actually chatted with some random guys at the bar though the night went a little awry (you can read about that here). Finally, this weekend, I went out and I actually chatted up some girls!

I went home numberless and alone, but I learned some valuable lessons and made some important mistakes:

  • "How's it going?" is a perfectly acceptable opening line. Kind of amazing, really. I think I have a talent for leading and drawing people into a conversation, so that part came easy for me. I even used some light touching pretty effectively. Unfortunately, I had no idea how to escalate and isolate. At three different points during the night there were girls who were standing with me, happily talking. But I didn't do anything about it, so their friends would eventually drag them away. Speaking of...

  • It's important to know how to deal with her friends. I was trying to focus on one girl in a group of three. She seemed happy, but two friends looked bored as fuck. So I engaged them a little, then went back to the one I liked. Pretty soon the two friends looked bored again, and I had to engage them again, then went back to focus on the girl I liked. It was like spinning plates. Exhausting. I also had one guy literally stand between me and a girl, putting his back to me. After that I realized it was easier to engage with the friends for a bit first individually, and once they liked me they pretty much would leave me alone.

  • Having wingmen can suck. I got a bit friendly with a guy sitting next to me at one bar, and I encouraged him to go approach these two girls he was looking at. As he was bombing, I started talking to that group of three that I mentioned above. Well, once he was done driving away his set of girls, he proceeded to drive away my set of girls. He was a bit obnoxious, talked mainly about himself, and had nothing interesting or clever to say to them (I should have given him the link to Seddit). The girl I liked made an excuse with her friends to get going, and I let them leave. I probably should have gotten their number to meet up with them later. Also, at a different bar, I fell into a group of army guys who kept buying rounds of shots. My game seriously declines if I drink too much, but I don't know how to politely decline the free alcohol.

I have a lot more to work on, I know, but I'm proud of my progress so far. I think I've entered about 10 bars solo in total, and it's gone from nerve wracking to very fun. I'm actually excited to try new things, so if you have any suggestions please let me know. I want to try some direct canned openers too. I think that might be funny.