Similar to Delightful_White’s weekend, I met a firecracker who constantly challenged my frame.

My State

Throughout the day I had been partying at a friend’s BBQ on a beautiful day in the city. This assured that I had plenty of alcohol in my system and the opportunity to open many sets – I had zero AA by the end of it. Remember guys, the hardest part is opening your first set – everything rolls downhill after that! Over the course of the BBQ I had two #-closes, helped a gay guy get over his AA, linked up my drummer roommate to a band and generally worked the party like Bill Clinton. Leaving there, I felt pretty good and I was ready to sarge.

The Main Set

I left the BBQ and headed over a friend’s house to watch an event on TV. There was a small party brewing which included HB8 (with BF), HB8, and HB9 – all blondes which I had never met before. Taking seddit advice, I make a huge DHV entrance, bursting into the room and giving a big hug to the host like we were long lost friends (I had only met him once previously).

As I have mentioned in previous posts, I have been studying body language quite a bit lately and it definitely paid off. I made sure to introduce myself to all the HBs and new people with a firm a handshake, open alpha stance, and steady eye-contact. HB9 immediately picked up on this and commented that “omg – she loved my handshake”. Sweet, IOI and I hadn’t even started yet.

HB9 was a real challenge, she had a strong personality which was difficult to maintain dominance. She would often hijack my frame:

HB8: Oh, how do you know HB9? (I don’t)

Elite: kino HB9 shoulder we’ve known each other since the 2nd grade, wayyyy back.

HB9: interrupts ohhh no, well we used to hook-up in high school. Best. Lay. Ever.

Elite: she was pretty good. smiles and push

Escalate Kino

A few interesting exchanges on Kino – I was watching TV next to HB9 and she put her foot on my shoe. I reached down and put it back on the couch. Smiled at her and patted her on the knee. Later, when I was negging her for something, she began to kick me from the couch. I caught her leg and slapped her ass. She liked it. There was a lot of playful/sexual banter going back and forth – with her being pretty forward and definitely not giving me any ground. She’s definitely a feisty one.

Eject and #-Close

Towards the end I mention that HB9 is completely the opposite of me because of her love for guns and cats - in fact, we may be arch enemies. She begins to qualify herself for the first time:

HB9: serious But I thought we were getting a long so well before?

Elite: Thaaat's what you thought?! I dunno. Mayybe we can be friends.

I expected her to start up again, but instead she seemed to shut down. I don't know why, but I felt like I might've broken her on this one and turned playful tension into me totally invalidating her.

Anyway, this is where I need some work/help. The group has no energy and wants to stay in to watch a movie. I want to go out. I suggest that everyone goes out, but no one is feeling it. So I decide to leave and join up with a few other friends. When I say goodbye, I tell HB9 to call herself – and she does.

I txt her with a funny txt about the movie she is watching – no response. I called her Sunday evening, no answer - didn't leave a voice mail. I felt like I had momentum coming out, but apparently I had lost traction.

In all it was a good experience and I learned a lot. Blowing out by being overly aggressive was a first for me. What is a good next step and what can I do next time to recalibrate?