Game is Destroyed From Overthinking

CptConfused · 2013-03-20T01:07:40+00:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUdHX1Bent0 Take advice from this guy, stop over thinking, he explains why it's bad for you

Anythingiwanttosay · 2013-03-20T03:39:16+00:00

I want to talk about your situation, but before I get into it, we ought to tease out some of the tangled bits that make it nearly impossible to deal with.

This discussion interests me a great deal because I am often accused of overthinking and it seems that the standard response to any reply I give to the accusation is that I'm overthinking overthinking! When this happens, the substance of the argument of the accuser could be summed up thusly: "Do exactly as I say, and cease to vocalize your thoughts." I don't see how such a stance is profitable to any party as it seems to build walls between those involved and understanding. If you're planning on commenting with "You're overthinking overthinking", then by all means, skip everything I have to say, submit your comment, have a chuckle and move on. I intend on really working through this issue, as it is central to any seduction scenario ad I think I might have something to contribute.

But overthinking does seem to exist, doesn't it? It seems silly to toss out the term entirely, as there seems to be real applications for it.

The problem, in my eyes, is an unwillingness to define terms. The phrase "You are overthinking" is really just an emotional reaction that could be distilled as "Ugh! Your thinking is bad!" The person making this assertion often cannot provide a logical chain of reasoning to articulate when asked to support their claim, so they resort to restating the emotional claim, and often using the same words.

In my assessment, overthinking can only exist if the goal is defined. Any thought that extends beyond the realm of the goal's parameters and/or in some other way prohibits access to the goal ought to be considered overthinking.

Now that's pretty vague, but now that we've hammered out some dimensions for this dreaded overthinking, maybe we'll make some headway into finding out whether the thought you're engaging in when chatting up sweet young honeys precludes the access to the honeys for which you so passionately yearn.

Let's take a look at some of your sample thoughts.

When I am talking to a girl, I will think and wonder things such as: "Is this alpha?" "Am I teasing too much/not enough?" and "Am I being too nice/mean?".

Let's look at the first one

"Is this alpha?"

Right away we begin to see problems stemming from the vagueness of the definition.

If we define the goal as "to seduce the woman in question" (a fair guess in this subreddit), we have to ask ourselves "Who is the woman?" "What does she respond to?" If she is the sort who has made some hard lined arbitrary decision to only allow alphas into her bed -- a rare woman indeed -- and the answer to the question "Is this (behavior I am currently exhibiting) alpha?" Is "yes", then you may proceed with the confidence that you're more likely to successfully seduce her.

But this is preposterous! People aren't easily divided into categories and subcategories and even when they are, you're bound to find contrasting opinions on what the important categories are and which characteristics to which degree are significant indicators of belonging to each category, even given that the appropriate groupings have been chosen. So right away, the ability to define the goal properly so that one might behave in the appropriate manner is thrown out entirely. That is, unless they tell you explicitly. This doesn't usually happen directly, and if it does, it's normally off-putting.

Here's the part where I get to the point:

You can't know the answer to these questions very easily. There's a ton of fog out there. Even when something is established, because we're dealing with humans here and not inanimate objects, what is known is likely to shift -- sometimes as a direct result of the idea that someone feels as though they have firm knowledge of their essence.

Knowing that these questions are set up to direct activity towards a goal that is constantly shifting or fundamentally unknowable ought to ameliorate their (the questions') grip on you.

However, this doesn't end your journey, for now in place of a world of definite possibilities, you're left within the vicissitudes of the constantly shifting nature of personalities in contact with their environments.

This is not a bad thing. This is an exciting place to be. Now, instead of long, labyrinthine rectangular corridors to navigate, you have swirling eddies of fog to part and see your way through. One of the more exciting elements of this adventure is that you too are a mass of seemingly chaotic fog within an environment of seemingly chaotic fog and that directing your currents has a direct influence on the seeming chaos around you.

Experiment. Find out what works (at the moment.) Adapt.

pickup_sticks · 2013-03-20T01:34:05+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Captain-Magic · 2013-03-20T02:17:05+00:00

Concentrate on living the moment. Practice practice practice: instead of dwelling on your thoughts you will pick up how others see you through their behavior.

Plus, people you interact with can sense it if you're not "all there" in the interaction. This has probably happened to you as well: you talk to someone, and they react to what you say, yet you don't feel them 100% present. Maybe it's not even intentional: they're just overwhelmed by their thoughts and inner monologue about who knows what. Maybe it has nothing to do with you.

You have to shut that voice up. Commit yourself to what is happening NOW. In the world in front of you. Pick up cues. React accordingly. You're putting brakes on your progress by thinking over everything.

kingcal · 2013-03-20T10:51:36+00:00

You're definitely spending too much time worrying about the technical aspect of the game, and you're not concentrating on the most important part -- meeting women. You can't be good at game without interacting with a woman. If all you're doing is smiling and nodding until it's your turn to speak, spending all your time planning your next "move", then you won't go anywhere. At its baseline, seduction is about forming a connection with someone. Whether it's simply a sexual connection, or a deeper, emotional connection is up to you.

It's much easier said than done to "stop thinking", but just do your best to concentrate on the girl, not the game. Active listening techniques and conversation threading will force you to really pay attention to what she's saying. Making sure you're noticing small details about her, like her earrings or the smell of her perfume. Be looking outward, not within.

Title	Game is Destroyed From Overthinking
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	20
Comments	11
Date	March 20, 2013 12:05 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1amo42/game_is_destroyed_from_overthinking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/game-is-destroyed-from-overthinking.1349269 https://theredarchive.com/post/1349269

Comments