Hello,

I (34M) have been out of the dating scene for about 7–8 years. Before that, I was pretty confident when it came to approaching women. I live in a Central American country, so nightlife here is a bit different (women tend to be a bit more open to being asked to dance)

Recently, I’ve been wanting to get back out there, but I feel really rusty. The confidence I used to have just isn’t there anymore. I can’t seem to approach women like I used to. My friends used to know me as the most daring one in social situations (I was never shy and loved meeting new people).

But just this past weekend, I went to a club for the first time in years and completely froze. I couldn’t think of anything witty to say, and I didn’t have the confidence to approach anyone. That’s so unlike how I used to be. I also used to be great at keeping conversations going, but since I’ve been out of practice socially, I feel like I’ve lost that skill too.

I know clubs aren’t the best place to meet people, but they actually worked well for me in the past. These days though, most of my friends are married or have kids, so social gatherings are rare. And when they happen, they’re usually family-oriented. Meeting new people feels like trying to find rain in the Sahara.

I do meet new people sometimes at my dance classes, but I avoid flirting there because I don’t like to shit were I eat (same with work)

So, I’m hoping for some advice:

  1. How can I rebuild my confidence and get back in the groove?
  2. Any ideas on where I could meet new people nowadays?
  3. What are some good ways to start a conversation or approach someone?
  4. How can I keep a good conversation going after the first contact?

If you have any reading material or videos that could help, I’d really appreciate it.

Thanks, Reddit

(btw, didn't know which flair to use)