Getting REALLY frustrated.

WhencanItasteyou · 2013-02-07T04:27:20+00:00

Dude IMO you fucked up by asking her...the girl was already with you ON YOUR BED! You asking her gave a chance for her to think it through if she actually has a bf. Next time just go for it chief.

DeeMore · 2013-02-07T04:30:45+00:00

Yeah its already been said. You asked if her to kiss? Noooo she said she has a boyfriend because you did that.

She was pissed you just didn't kiss her, that's what she would have found attractive.

BrainFracture · 2013-02-07T05:00:59+00:00

Asking "Can I kiss you?" shows a bit of a lack in confidence. It's better to say something like "I'm going to kiss you now." And even better just to read the situation and do so without saying anything at all.

2013-02-07T04:30:56+00:00

When it comes to makin a move man words aren't needed. Get close to her, if you feel the connection, just go for it, if she stops you she doesn't want to you, if she does then there you go. It's just a girl, there's many other girls more attractive, trust that.

sheeftee · 2013-02-07T04:36:38+00:00

Don't stop making the moves. You'll score eventually, shit like this happens more than you think.

Did you ever consider that girls are lying when they tell you they have a boyfriend? I've seen my own girl-friends (not girlfriends) do this A LOT. This is, IMO, the ultimate shit test. Either the guy will acknowledge it, and leave them alone, or tell them he doesn't give a shit about her boyfriend (which may or may not work). Alphas will playfully shoot that one down (so does my girlfiend, your parents must be proud, whoa we just met), or even say "that's great, but enough of your problems" and continue to talk to the girl regardless (at least what I would do, I don't consider myself a pickup artist or anything).

If they do in fact have boyfriends, listen to your own morality.

GreatTeacherAneesuka · 2013-02-07T05:46:41+00:00

Everyone is talking about taking charge and making moves without asking, but here's another perspective. I'm not into hooking up with girls who have boyfriends, so I prefer to make my intentions known sooner. Call it a date when you make plans, put your arm around her in a coupley way, stuff like that.

Example: I was dancing for a couple of hours with a beautiful girl, very intimately. I say "we should hang out", she says "yeah totally". I say "Well, actually sorry, but I can't hang out with you. It has to be a date", and then she says "No, it can't be a date, I have a boyfriend". I was extremely frustrated, but much less so than if we got to the date and only then realized I had wasted my time on someone who just wanted to flirt.

Just some food for thought.

TheDisillusionist · 2013-02-07T04:33:03+00:00

I'd say you should have gone in for the kiss. She knew what was up or she wouldn't have been in that situation. She may have still shut you down but you had every indicator that she would have been ok with it. She didn't mention the boyfriend until after the fact for a reason I suspect.

So next time you have a shot in a pretty obvious setup go for it. The worst she can do is say no.

2013-02-07T05:04:04+00:00

You shouldn't have asked her, you should've taken charge and went for the kiss. Then continued to escalate.

2013-02-07T05:16:54+00:00

Remember the first time you rode a bike without training wheels? I bet you fell on your ass. Maybe you skinned your elbow, got gravel embedded in your knee. I know I did, several times. Now, remember the first time your rode without falling? One of the best fucking feelings in your life. And every time after that, until you couldn't remember what it was like not to be able to ride. This is exactly like that. Get back on the bike.

mechwarrior350z · 2013-02-07T04:50:28+00:00

I am going through this too my friend. Lots of great dates that just don't go anywhere for various reasons. Its tough to maintain a positive outlook/good inner game when it keeps happening, but I do two things:

1) Always be approaching. Everytime one girl flakes or FZs me, I already have another fun date planned with another girl, and that distracts me. 2) when I'm feeling especially pissy/discouraged, I lift/do push ups.

whitewater09 · 2013-02-07T05:02:26+00:00

I've had this problem (with girls I'm interested in being unavailable) for like, 13-14 months. So weird. But you're not alone.

Barzano · 2013-02-07T05:32:26+00:00

I'm with you buddy, I've been getting the same deal everywhere I look here in Miami. But I do what everyone here says, I go in whether there's a bf or not, if she bites then oh well. Thing is, a girl with a bf can become a wingman or single down the line, so I try to figure which is going to be which via slow progression IE; frozen yogurt instead of movies, drinking with friends at a bar, not a club, if she can play pool it gives you a one on one that can go friendly or further and you can always be a friendly flirt without stepping on any toes.

BUT, some women are locked up in their own head. I met a girl that I bailed away from quick, this cute Colombian girl whose boyfriend LIVES IN EUROPE (I'm in Miami Fl.) This blew my mind, he has never lived stateside and she has never lived there. She said she doesn't go out because her boyfriend isn't in town, and her partying days are behind her. She's fucking 19!!! Any girl here can tell you that what she's doing is pretty stupid, and she's missing out on life. But she's an HB8, so it's not as bad as it could be, and I still see guys hit on her.

Still, don't waste your time with people who can't enjoy life. It's one thing if she has a boyfriend but is still willing to go out as friends and not do anything with you (this girl in your story would've, you should've gone for it) and IMO the girls who can go out with you and not cheat are commendable. But if she locks herself up because she sees life in black and white, move on

shitsfuckedupalot · 2013-02-07T06:05:16+00:00

you gotta slay the dragon before you get to the princess. sometimes that dragon is gay girls and girls with long term outta town boy friends.

puaCurveBall · 2013-02-07T06:09:57+00:00

This belongs in /r/askseddit as it is asking advice for a specific situation / girl

This will stay in spam filter, please repost in the AskSeddit subreddit.(Not askREDDIT, but askSEDDIT) Please read RULES & GUIDELINES. This post is answered by many SIDEBAR guides.

I would also recommend reading 10-20 of the top posts on Seddit: FOUND HERE

Also, don't worry about it! You didn't do anything wrong since you didn't know

Title	Getting REALLY frustrated.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	15
Date	February 7, 2013 4:14 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/181nyq/getting_really_frustrated/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/getting-really-frustrated.1347041 https://theredarchive.com/post/1347041

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