Hi Seddit!

First of all sorry for the long text. I'm really shy person when feelings come to play, and wanted to ask you about how I am doing, on how to get better. I have trouble manning up, and 'm trying to solve this: I've been friend with a girl for around 8 years or so. Never felt nothing for her, and we got well together. With her last boyfriend, she has been very close to me. She came with me special occasions like new years eve or halloween instead of with her boyfriend. She is very affecionate with me allways, and I've told her many times I don't want to have a relationship with her, as she sometimes gets on my nerves as she is very demanding, like arranging us meeting 15 days in advance, or sometimes getting mad if I dont go to pick her up or stuff a boyfriend should do. On January, I got really mad at her. Told her how I felt, as she was asking me too many responsabilities for a regular friend. That she made me feel like a boyfriend which I wasn't. We where arguing and she started to cry, as I meant a lot to her. It all started to get really strange, as I felt as if I was breaking up with her. "It is not you, its me, I need some time. I need some space" and stuff like that. I told her I didn't want to know about her for a month or so. She was begging me not to do it. A couple of days, she didn't stop talking me on FB or msn. We had the same break up again. Really strange. She agreed lastly, told me she was going to change. A month later we were fine. She changed and I was confortable. 2 months ago her boyfriend dumped her. She told me a couple weeks later, and started asking me strange questions. She told me she loved me (I guess like a friendly way), and asked me to tell her I loved her too. I told her I loved her.... like a friend. She then said: I know you don't like me sexually.... do you? I told her I didn't. But.. a couple weeks later I started to feel something for her. I had been out of town for 3 weeks or so, but I wanted to tell her on person. I wanted to tell her I liked her. We chatted a couple of times, she told me how sad she was about her boyfriend, and I told her I didn't want her to tell me about her boyfriend. I was determined to tell her how I felt personally, so I waited.

A couple of days ago, she came to pick me up at the train station and we went to my place. I growed up some balls, looked directly at her eyes and told her I had missed her a lot this weeks. That I had realized I liked her. She told me to stop saying that, that she still liked her ex. I told her I knew that this wasn't a good time to tell her, but I was sure about my feelings and that I was determined to tell her no matter what. She said she was still in love with her ex, although he was a jerk. She lookede downwards. I told her to look up into my eyes. I had waited 3 weeks to tell her this, and I wanted to speak face to face. That we were adults and that we trust each other enough to be able to say this kind of things She didn't want to have anything with any man or me, neither now nor in... well in the future maybe. I told her this was normal, she has been in a relationship for 3 years. I told her I wanted to know how I felt, and that I wanted her to think about it. She said that it was weird, that we where friends. I told her: so? I my ex and I had been best friends for 2 years and ended up together. Then there were some weird silences while we had supper and played a couple of games. I then started to joke around, telling her how a good boyfriend I could be. Or how I loved her eyes. She was laughing and flushing red. I asked her if I made her feel nervous, and she was really read and laughing. I think she was enjoying the night. I think her words said something quite different than her body language. I've been still telling her this kind of stuff and making her laugh. We are still going out together or with some friends, so she is not freezed out. Yesterday, when I took her home with my car, I told her I wanted a kiss. She said no laughing. I told her I didn't want to kiss her, that I wanted HER to kiss me. She said she would kiss me when the correct time comes.

Tonight and tomorrow we are meeting again with some friends. Things aren't weird at all, and Im thinking I should continue being as I am doing. What do you think? Of course, if I see an opportunity with another girl I'm not going to close any doors.

tl;dr: I managed to overcome my shyness and told a female friend who was kind of making me be her sentimental boyfriend (who I didn't like at the time) how I now liked her very DIRECTLY. Still joking around and making her laugh and going after her and she seems to be letting a door open.