Having problems beeing an Alpha

dancekingsc · 2014-11-26T01:10:28+00:00

Everyone is not an alpha, everyone can learn to be alpha but that doesn't mean they'll like it.

Best way to establish a behavior is through positive feedback. You tell a joke, people laugh etc. This is of course pretty hard to do on your own and that is why experience in the field is so important. The most imporant thing is not to get discouraged if people don't give you positive feedback. ¨

Try not to think too much about being in a certain way, just be, do things, go out and have fun.

PedophilePriest · 2014-11-26T07:23:12+00:00

Bottom line, your 18, and you have no fucking clue. I sure didn't at 18, I didn't know what I liked, what I loved, what my passions were, what parts of me I wanted to improve or enhance or what I was proud of.

By definition, you can't be full Alpha as an 18 year old...your still a kid growing into yourself, a lot of this advice is about being a man, an adult. Don't worry about it it's going to take time.

A common mistake I'm seeing is people focusing on the big picture instead of the details. The process of Alpha takes years, a few for some, many for most. The point is if you focus on individual issues, working out, hygiene and appearance, social skills, humor being the common ones expressed here but there are many others, as you advance in each one you naturally will become more Alpha. Your confidence will improve slowly over time, so will your leadership skills.

You will begin to naturally take dominant body posture, put yourself in the leadership role, because your confident in your photography, or magic collection or whatever.

If your ultimate goal is to become Alpha, think of it as the roadmap where alpha is the destination, with all the details, an interesting hobby, a strong social circle, successful career, a well taken care of and conditioned body, strong body language, a strong sense of humor etc. are all towns, pit stops on your way toward your final destination.

empowwwerio · 2014-11-26T02:09:22+00:00

I don't think you can -be- an alpha male. Or you are naturally, or you're not. You can fake it, it's true, but you will never be one. Re-educate yourself socially before you start doing anything else. A lot of people on this sub wants to be a player but they don't understand how the game is played. It's like just jumping a important step in the art of seduction. Being an alpha or not doesn't matter at all. Being yourself is the right thing. Yes, you can somehow learn how to be an "alpha". But eventually you'll get detached from who you really are.

JackGetsIt · 2014-11-26T14:46:09+00:00

It's tough to be dominant at that age because almost anyone can come along and knock you down with. "You don't have money, or own a nice car, or own a house.. you don't have a mature look" but what you can do is practice and be proud of the things that you can own. Do you work hard at school and get good grades? Own it. Do you know how to maintain a car? Own it. Do you know basic physical fitness? Own it. Have you traveled challenged yourself? Own it. Do you have a strategic life plan that you are daily implementing? Own it big time. People will pick up on these things and it will distance you from the pack of whiny 18 year olds with no direction or respect for others. Furthermore the one thing you can work on big time is frame. Someone says you're a wimp because you don't have a good job. Ignore that shit your 18 and you have a plan. Working your plan is your job. Don't let anyone get to you and that will show in a big way. Look at 18 year old's that people admire and their the types of guys that are working a plan and hold frame. That you can do.

ScHoolboy_Stu · 2014-11-26T15:31:22+00:00

I'm not gonna comment on "becoming alpha" or any of that crap, just gonna say you need to stop worrying about offending people.

All my friends back home were like me in the way that we say what we think, make jokes etc (and because they were all like me, I wasn't really an alpha/leader of the group) We were always the "popular" guys, while the people who spent all their time worrying about offending people or saying something people won't like didnt get invited to the parties, get hot girls, have a big group of friends etc.

Now I'm at uni and have to mix with people who are very different to my mates back home, and I always find it really surprising how 95% of people seem to never say anything controversial, and if their opinion is different to mine they seem to suddenly change it once I let them know and pretend they agree with me. For example, some guy I know said to me "I had a sick time last night" after we tried a new club. I said "Really? I didn't really rate it" then he instantly replied "yeah actually it was kinda shit". I understand sometimes your opinion changes while talking to someone, but for it to change that quickly and as often as it seems to happen to me, I can clearly see theyre scared someone won't like them if their opinion is different.

Because I'm one of the few guys that actually sticks to his beliefs, makes jokes at peoples expense (without being a dick, just friendly banter), and isn't afraid to speak up when someone annoys me even if they might not like me afterwards, I always find myself naturally taking control of most groups of people. And on the rare occasion I find someone like myself, I respect them a lot more than everyone else.

Sorry if this is a ramble, my ADD makes it hard for me to stick to one point. But basically what I'm trying to say is being overly focused on what people think and hurting their feelings is gonna make people like you LESS, because it feels like you have less of a character and you're weak (although dont be a dick either, find a balance).

Not too sure how to help your overall confidence though. I've always been confident, my problem is I just run out of things to say.

I know this looks kinda like I'm saying "this is why IM amazing blablabla" but I'm not. I'm just trying to say what I've learned from personal experience.

TL;DR, you don't have to be what the internet sees as an "alpha". Just dont be a little timid bitch who spends all his time worrying about hurting people's feelings, or that people might disagree with your opinions and dislike you.

philosarapter · 2014-11-26T16:33:20+00:00

Being "Alpha" is a side effect of being an assertive, passionate, confident man. You can try to fake it, but its often really transparent. The best route to becoming a new man is to get your inner struggle sorted out and redefine yourself as a better man.

You said you have problems 'accepting yourself' as someone funny or interesting. So I'd make that your first goal: rebranding your self-image. Currently you have an idea of your mind of what you think you're like, its time to update that definition. So make a list of all the ways you can upgrade and improve yourself. Try to imagine your 'ultimate' self, how does he look? how does he act? How

Focus first on your physical and mental health: exercise, diet, and therapy if you so choose.

Then on your hygiene and style: study up on what looks good, ask women for their opinion on what style they prefer on men, always look and smell your best.

Thirdly, focus on your passion, humor, and intrigue. Watch comedians and study their flow, pacing and deliver of jokes. Try to construct some jokes of your own. Learn interesting and relevant facts about the world that spark interesting conversation. Find a cause greater than yourself that you can dedicate your time to. Learn new talents, pick up new hobbies and put yourself fully into them.

The result of upgrading yourself to be a better man, will naturally bring along the side effects of confidence, intelligence, passion and swagger. There is no "Short-cut". This is a life long project to building the ultimate you. When you feel accomplished with your self, those good vibes will naturally overflow onto the people around you and they'll take notice.

All you have to do after that is go after the girls you find attractive and give them a peak into your already-exciting life.

uhhthatguy · 2014-11-26T17:00:20+00:00

Man, you gotta work on that inner game! no "fast as possible answers" are going to solve this problem for ya, dude. To be honest, even if you are able to get into that mindset of an alpha, it won't be genuine until you feel it from within first. Some guys will say that you just need to tell yourself that "you're the man" or that "you deserve to be the alpha in ___ situation," but I disagree with that.

In my opinion, you'll start to act like an alpha when you become one. Don't try to act like you are big and strong; go get big and strong. Don't try to act like you have no fear of approaching; develop a lack of fear of doing it. Pretending is a shit load of work that doesn't get easier over time. On the other hand, developing the habits that allow you to honestly express yourself in an attractive way is hard at the beginning and way easier later on.

Anecdotal evidence here: I used to be timid as a shrew because I was small and shy. If I hadn't spent multiple hours with a person, it was hard for me to maintain a conversation. Now? That's a thing of the past. I never have to wonder what people are thinking about me, because it doesn't matter. I'm me, and if they don't like that, it is okay!

Hope this helps, man.

The_Devil_Memnoch · 2014-11-27T00:59:49+00:00

The key is not to care what other think. That doesn't mean be rude or derogatory, it means don't be afraid to speak up and voice an unpopular opinion. Most of being an Alpha is unspoken body language anyway, so for the time being work on that and the rest will fall into place. A great example of an Alpha male that primarily uses body language to make his presence known is Travis Fimmel's character Ragnar on Vikings. He doesn't interrupt, or use insults take the control of conversations away from people, but when he does speak everyone listens. Why? Because everything about the man is alpha as fuck. He has an unwavering gaze, commanding posture, and takes up as much space as he pleases. Maybe this will help you, maybe it won't. But I would be interested in hearing back from you after you start upping your nonverbal game.

accountingdouche · 2014-11-26T18:31:01+00:00

Alpha males are born, and I can tell you this much if you're on the internet you will never be an alpha male. PERIOD. Sorry, move on.

Develop a Seductive Personality is all you need.

Title	Having problems beeing an Alpha
Author	FuckComfort
Upvotes	5
Comments	13
Date	November 26, 2014 12:24 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2nffct/having_problems_beeing_an_alpha/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/having-problems-beeing-an-alpha.1380177 https://theredarchive.com/post/1380177

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