Having several fuckbuddies. (Jealousy, exclusivity, monogamy...etc)

theXcepshin · 2018-05-28T19:05:40+00:00

"I feel like I am lying to them."

You are. I am not telling you you shouldn't (not for me to decide); and I am not telling you whether lying or honesty is a better seduction strategy (I have no clue).

"I'd like to be honest and tell them I am a open relationships guy but this would make girls disappear."

You'd like to be honest, but only if it leads to the result you want? Then you don't care about being honest. That is why I say you are lying. Genuine honesty is result independent. Genuine honesty allows the other person to make her own honest decision: that she wants to leave, stay, keep fucking, be buddies, or whatever. I repeat: I am not telling you which to choose and I don’t know which will bring better results.

I do think you would benefit by deciding which it is for you. If you are going to lie, then it would help to get comfortable with that decision, knowing you believe you are not giving her an open choice. If you are going to go honest, get comfortable with the idea that only the chicks who are genuinely happy with that situation will stay.

"Why women/society thinks that men are pigs for dating several women at once?"

Whatever "society" thinks, I think the strongest voice you are hearing about this is your own. I think this is about you being comfortable with yourself, not about other people.

In that sense, I have a bias toward honesty for you, because I believe it will relieve the dissonance you are feeling. I believe that, with whoever stays, it will make the sex more enjoyable for you, as you will be able to fuck with abandon; with no nagging feeling that she wouldn't want to be there if she were to know the real you.

I believe you will gain from being more sure of yourself, even if all of the chicks leave. Then you are free to pursue the chicks who will get you. I believe you will be able to bond over common sticking points -- girls don't want to be sluts; you don't want to be a pig. In that way, you can frame your relationships as the two of you giving the middle finger to society.

hunterpua · 2018-05-28T12:50:28+00:00

Society does think that but you'll be surprised how many girls will be ok being in an open relationship.

Its kinda like masturbation. A lot of women do it everyday but no one ever tweets about it unless they're a pornstar or cam girl.

As long as you aren't broadcasting it to the entire world, a lot of girls would be down for a open relationship.

I used to worry about losing girls after telling the truth about seeing multiple women myself and if I'm honest, I did lose a few. Out of like 10 though I'd only lose about 2, that means roughly 8 out of 10 women would be down for an open relationship, they just don't want people to know that they would.

One of the girls I currently have an open relationship with had a conversation with me before we even kissed where I told her, "you know, girls are horny but they wanna keep up appearances so sometimes you gotta give them an excuse to act slutty so that they wont get judged. That's why even if I don't drink, I like to take girls drinking. In reality you might just have a single gulp of beer but no one will know that, so if something happens tonight, at least you can blame it on the alcohol."

Right then & there, she knew I got women and 20 minutes later she was laying on my bed, when I put my dick inside her she asked me, "Did you know this was gonna happen?"

Talked to her after the second time we had sex telling her that I want to keep things open so that we still get to see other people. We've been regularly seeing each other for about 4 months now and I have conversations with her about the other girls I'm with, I also have conversations with the other girls about her. Its all good as long as you do it behind closed doors...just like masturbating.

TravonM · 2018-05-28T20:30:31+00:00

Set the frame right from the beginning. Tell them that you believe in having multiple women, and if they don't like it they can leave. What you will find is some of them will be okay with it, but if you wait too long to bring it up it's a lot tougher.

zzquestion · 2018-05-29T01:58:27+00:00

Woman here who was in an open relationship (bilateral openness) at one point. It worked best when we both knew the status of the other relationships (who with (just an identifier if we didn’t already know the other person) and how emotionally and physically involved) but not details beyond that. Each girl should know the same about all the other girls, not just the main one knowing this. It’s also perfectly natural for people to want exclusivity as they get emotionally closer to each other. My current husband and I decided against an open relationship for several reasons, despite both being players when we were younger, mostly because the emotional attachment would naturally lead to jealously and anger if we let other people into our relationship.

throwawaybeginner · 2018-05-28T13:26:15+00:00

I've never had multiple fuckbuddies at once, but I am really open with my fwb back home and talk about my life with other girls without holding anything back.

I actually told her about another girl for the first time when we booked a hotel in the city as a way of letting her know that this isn't a relationship or anything so she wouldn't get her hopes up.

She definitely was upset and began putting less effort into our "fwb relationship" but I think it was best for our friendship and for her life.

Lambdal7 · 2018-05-28T15:19:07+00:00

Only very shy and traditional girls would stop want to see you.

All other girls who are a bit sexual, outgoing or girly, will be overwhelmed by the social proof and pre-selection, arguably the factor that builds the most sexual attraction and will want to try it out, this sexual adventure.

Title	Having several fuckbuddies. (Jealousy, exclusivity, monogamy...etc)
Author	PinkPlanets
Upvotes	7
Comments	12
Date	May 28, 2018 12:00 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8mpjni/having_several_fuckbuddies_jealousy_exclusivity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/having-several-fuckbuddies-jealousy-exclusivity.1447391 https://theredarchive.com/post/1447391

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