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[–]DontTakePeopleSrsly 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She knows you’re crazy about her. Women have a social intelligence you could only dream to have. What you need to do is still be her friend, but don’t take her seriously. Treat her like one of the guys, tell her about interactions with other women, etc.
She needs to think she can’t have you.
[–]iiexistenzeii 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Let me go out of my way and say the opposite thing most people here are suggesting.
For the love of God, do not ruin your friendship, there are enough girls believe it or not, who are better than your best friend and would wanna be your GF. Stop pursuing your friend, go out and talk to new girls, meet them flirt with them instead of your friend. You need to cut your friend off for atleast a week, in that week meet other girls and get this idea of getting her out of your mind.
Can you get your best friend? Yes.
Will it be worth it? I speak from experience, she doesn't want it so no.
[–]AnalysisGlittering76 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't let him get the idea that he can get his best friend. It has to be rooted out from the core.
[–]5_7pickup 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
A moment of silence for the fallen brother in the friend zone.
[–]Character_Pitch5241 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Can this brother rise back from ashes?
[–]Dodechaedron 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
In my experience, no.
[–]Character_Pitch5241 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So it's better distancing myself
[–]Dodechaedron 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As someone rightly said, if you want to keep her as a friend, that's alright but then treat as if she was a male friend and, if she teases you, just to keep you keen, turn the table and tell her that, sorry, you only see her as a friend and see how she likes it.
[–]Ellista 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You said she wants to remain your best friend. Sorry, bud, that’s a no. I think you should remain friends and find someone else to be romantically involved with. Unless you can’t get over her, then sadly, you may need to part.
[–]Sup3rHD -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
She talks with you cause she wants Your attentions and you are her text buddy. Why u talk to this girl if you dont have sex with her? I mean on daily basis, what is the point.
I suggest to talk her in a sexual way, if she doesnt like it, text her that you dont wanna be her friend.
Maybe when u dont talk to her anymore, she become more attracted to you
[–]Character_Pitch5241 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
How to talk in a sexual way bro
[+]Sup3rHD -7 points-6 points-5 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Ask her if she wants to be your friend with benefits.
[–]BlinkinparkKrasus 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
This is not a good way to go about this lol
[–]AnalysisGlittering76 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Correct. Please don't ruin a good friendship simply because she doesn't want to have sex with you.
[–]BlinkinparkKrasus 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I actually meant it's a terrible way to introduce sexual tension into their interactions... but yes, if he wants to even try something with this girl, it's worth it to at least pause for a bit and ask himself if she might be better as a friend, cause it's really hard to go back after you become someone's partner..
[–]AnalysisGlittering76 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yes, and once you make a move and she turns you down (which in this situation, she 99.9% will), the same level of friendship will never come back. Best to avoid this situation at all costs. It's a definite lose-lose.
[–]BlinkinparkKrasus 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
First of all, sorry for the wall of text that's about to follow, good on ya if you read it fully, and I do agree with some of your initial points from the original comment... Anyway, here goes;
Not necessarily mate.. It depends on the maturity of parties involved, how capable they are to move past something. So the friendship can for sure be repaired. And you're presupposing she will reject him, with a percentage number you're pulling out of your ass. If done properly, building sexual tension can be a powerful factor in him showing her that he's a desirable guy who knows how to attract a girl, and she'll start seeing him as potentially becoming more than just a friend.
I mean, we're discussing social interactions, which I'll admit, are pretty volatile and incredibly case-specific, no two stories are ever the same, there are always variables that can blow up in your face. But to say "she will 99.9% reject him" demonstrates a certain unwillingness on your part to even try and disrupt the status quo, and with that attitude nothing will happen anyway, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy kinda.
I've had a friend for about 4 years now, and ever since we met I've felt a certain infatuation with her, but not to the point where I lost my ability to speak. Even to this day, I still have very sexually charged conversations with her, lots of teasing, lots of hugging, a compliment from time to time (she compliments me more than the other way around, but I throw something her way once in a while). Over time, as we spent time together, I learned that she was married. And for this reason I just never wanted to go further than friends with her. We even built up such a level of intimacy that we can freely discuss sexual topics, and this is an opportunity for me to show I could be better than her husband... but here's the thing, and this kinda goes to prove your initial point about ruining the friendship - I know she's unhappy with her husband and would leave him in a heartbeat if she knew she would be guaranteed a place next to someone better, but I still won't be the one to push this any further, maybe more because I know it would complicate her life unnecessarily.
I guess the bottom line is - you CAN and SHOULD be friends with someone and STILL maintain a level of at least superficial flirting. Being someone's friend is a relative term, there are differences in situations... What kind of friend are you being to someone? What kind of friend would you like to be? Do you want to be the friend she calls on at 5 in the morning cause she's drunk and needs a place to crash? Do you want to be the kind of friend that she texts every time she gets rejected by ANOTHER GUY?? Or do you want to be the kind of friend that has the freedom to be flirty with her, shows her a good time and doesn't get too attached to her until they move on from the "friends" phase... Thing is, most guys are unhappy with their position as someone's "friend" cause they didn't want to be JUST a friend to a girl in the first place. And just cause you're "friendzoned" (I hate this term so much) right now, doesn't mean you're locked in that position until the end of time, it just requires you to shift your gears a little bit.
[–]AnalysisGlittering76 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Appreciate the time you took to write this mate. Kinda with a similar story myself, except the woman's been there for 6 years. You're right, no two stories are every the same. Credit where it's due, I have picked up quite a few things from your post. Thanks for sharing your story!
[–]BlinkinparkKrasus 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's not really MY story... I mean it's my story in the sense that it happened to me, but it's far from my life's love story.
I'd have to be very drunk to re-tell it, and I'm pretty sure I'd get banned for walls of text anyway, but in broad strokes, here goes - used to love this one girl very much, we went on-off for a very long time, made big mistakes along the way, always kinda kept coming back to each other...
We were sort of stagnating at one point, I still wanted her badly, but I forced myself to keep my distance and not smother her... that being said, I did end up charming her friends to tell me where they'd be going out every once in a while, so I could arrange to walk by arm-in-arm with at least 2-3 (not all of them were my girlfriends at the time, sometimes I'd just ask a random person I just met... you'd be surprised if you approach lightheartedly and with a good sense of humor, how willing girls would be to help you out a bit, just make your intentions clear) different girls right in front of their tables just to make said girl I loved jealous. And it worked, 3 days of this and she finally wanted to have a "come to Jesus" talk with me, tried throwing a fit and I made fun of her, made light of the situation, how mad she was... I never took it too personally, until I had to (again, nonchalantly) explain to her that I wouldn't have a need to walk around with other girls had she not given me the stupid "I'm not ready for a relationship yet" excuse. I ended by saying "if you don't feel ready to be in a relationship with me, by all means, that's your problem, find a way around it... but you can't expect me to strap a chastity belt and wait for you, and try to make this the final time where you throw a fit about it".. a few weeks later, we were spending every day in bed together...
Basically, drastic circumstances call for drastic measures, but never be afraid to rock the boat a little bit... I'm glad I was helpful, and I wish you luck in your endeavors :)
[–]AnalysisGlittering762 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Absolutely amazing brother. You've made a minor, but significant impact.
[–]Sup3rHD -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Guys want women for sex. If u talk to her as friends, u only give her FREE attentions while she fucks other guys. Do u want this? Why you are friend with this girl? Its useless if u dont go out with her etc
[–]BlinkinparkKrasus 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bro you're not entirely wrong in the end here, it's just that outright asking someone to be your friend with benefits, without any charm or thought whatsoever put into how you're gonna propose this is likely to blow up in your face worse than an H-bomb.
And there's plenty of reasons why a guy might want to spend time with a woman. Statistically sex does factor into it by a large amount, but hey, when I had to practice my conversational skills, it helped having female friends around whom I could flirt with without any risk of getting rejected - it's easier to talk to someone when you have no premeditated outcome in mind.
[–]4utoimmune 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
hug her, touch her neck, be physical. get her to touch you.
tell her u find her attractive, etc.
she will resist. u keep going unapologetically, playfully. sex is fun and u like each other. be a man and show your true intentions.
why are u even posting here? are u afraid of losing her? she is not yours to begin with. and believe me, people in general will love you more if you are true to them, showing your real intentions.
just go.
[–]almighty_nsa 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
No. Wrong situation for this behavior. Thats what OP should have done before she started seeing him as a friend. If he does it now all thats going to happen is that she is going to tell him that she doesn’t want to, and if he keeps going hit him. This one is a lost cause. Find another one is the right way to go about it.
[–]4utoimmune -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
she will do this she will do that. you should do that and now u should do this. oh u didn't do that? then just give up lol.
better to stay framed and spill it out. say that u were afraid of losing her and u realised u actually like her. if she says no, keep going. this is how u get laid, not by giving up on a lost cause, but by saying the truth and staying framed.
[–]almighty_nsa 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
No. You do not want a girl that has lost her image of you as a man. Can you remember the last time somebody lost your respect badly but later on made it into your list of most respected people ? I dont think so. It’s even worse with women. Some of the things they see as weakness arent even weak to begin with.
[–]Character_Pitch5241 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So who should I follow
[–]AnalysisGlittering76 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Follow yourself. In this situation, I would tend to follow almighty_nsa's advice. Sex can be found in a lot of places. Solid friendships aren't.
[–]4utoimmune 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
No. The impact is even stronger when you give woman this rolecoaster of emotions.
How do u give her rollercoaster of emotions and why are women need to be manipulated like this
[–]4utoimmune 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
rollercoaster by giving her a broad range of sensations, emotions. Be hot and cold. it's what they want, doesn't matter the subject, if you were her friend before and now she will see you as a weak guy that wants to be with her sexually, no, she will not think logically as other users said here.
she will remember the sensations you gave to her. and going from friend to expressing your true emotions is a really strong sensation, it's very exciting and scary in a certain way. look, it's so crazy that no one here would do it, they rather "give up on her" not giving her anything, "afraid to lose friendship". well, you are not afraid. the only thing u are afraid of is not being yourself.
she will dream about the feelings you gave to her, not about the things you logically said to her.
[–]almighty_nsa 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The rollercoaster of emotions is (he loves me)/(he doesn’t) not (what a limp dicked kid)/(now thats a man) because the latter is not possible. Once unrespectable always unrespectable.
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[–]DontTakePeopleSrsly 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]iiexistenzeii 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]AnalysisGlittering76 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]5_7pickup 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Character_Pitch5241 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Dodechaedron 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Character_Pitch5241 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Dodechaedron 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ellista 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sup3rHD -1 points0 points1 point (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]Character_Pitch5241 1 point2 points3 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[+]Sup3rHD -7 points-6 points-5 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]BlinkinparkKrasus 5 points6 points7 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]AnalysisGlittering76 4 points5 points6 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]BlinkinparkKrasus 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]AnalysisGlittering76 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]BlinkinparkKrasus 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]AnalysisGlittering76 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]BlinkinparkKrasus 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]AnalysisGlittering762 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Sup3rHD -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]BlinkinparkKrasus 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]4utoimmune 0 points1 point2 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]almighty_nsa 3 points4 points5 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]4utoimmune -1 points0 points1 point (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]almighty_nsa 1 point2 points3 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Character_Pitch5241 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]AnalysisGlittering76 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]4utoimmune 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Character_Pitch5241 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]4utoimmune 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]almighty_nsa 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link