Hey Seddit. Beginner looking for advice here.

djadvance22 · 2010-01-29T21:57:18+00:00

Here are a couple things I've picked up:

Women fuck men who have high status. Say it with me: high status. You are self sufficient, don't need approval, grant your approval sparingly and carefully, and are sure of yourself and your decisions.

The basic scene is you're at a bar by yourself, leaning back slightly and enjoying your beer. You talk to the bartender and fellow patrons, but you're bringing them into your fun; you don't need them to enjoy yourself. You are exactly where you want to be, and comfortable with just yourself.

Now for specifics:

Seduction, and almost all other interactions for that matter, are only about 5% what you say, and 95% how you say them.

Body Language

By far the most important aspect of getting women is POSTURE (body language), at let's say 70%. Walk tall, head back, shoulders relaxes, chest out, leaning slightly back. Sit tall, lean slightly back. Be relaxed, but don't just be in the most comfortable position; always sit or lie like an alpha wolf would, commanding attention, head up. TAKE UP SPACE.

Then there's movement: move *slowly*. Quick, jerky movements are a sign of insecurity. Slow, intentional movements exude confidence. Try this: walk on the sidewalk, taking long strides and moving purposefully, but don't move out of the way for people. Let people move around you. You'll be surprised how different this feels. People move out of the way of others who have higher status. Don't give up your status easily.

I find that simply walking with an exaggerated macho walk, like I'm mimicking some goon from Jersey Shore, is enough to put me in an extroverted state. Studies have shown that good posture significantly increases alertness and optimism, effective immediately

Tone

The next most important thing, at ~25%, is vocal tone. Speak evenly, clearly, deeply, and relatively slowly. Think James Bond. Don't be afraid to issue commands. State your opinions matter-of-factly but surely. If your voice lilts upwards at the end of sentences, you are subconsciously asking for approval. Stop that.

Conversation

Basics

Now the last part, what you say, is 5% but still important. I recommend reading this article, which details some simple ways in which introverts are bad at rapport.

Get good at conversational threading, which is simply taking any element from what your girl (or anyone) is talking about and going on about that.

A girl says, "I went sledding the other day with my friend, it was so much fun!"

You can respond with any association you have with sledding, memories from childhood regarding winter, other things to do with snow, other spontaneously fun things to do with your friends, stories about easy and fun things you did with your friends, etc. In fact, conversation possibilities branch fractally, so there should be a for-all-practical-purposes infinite number of relevant responses to every statement like this.

Advanced

So you know what to talk about, now here's how to talk about it. Focus on conjuring up positive feelings and associations in her--bring back positive memories from childhood, the fun she feels letting loose at the club, the wonder she feels when she's engrossed in nature--whatever she likes, find that thing and be it for her. Use emotional language: "Wow, that must have felt like you were the hottest woman on Earth!"

There's also the cocky/funny school of comedy, pioneered by David Deangelo, whose videos you should look up--do funny, cocky things, like insist on your girl holding the door for you, or stealing her cell phone to check for bugs, and she will feel tingles. Basically, tease her.

Mystery's basic idea is that through stories and jabs, you should demonstrate your best qualities (demonstrate high values, or DHV) and qualify (screen) her, which makes her have to chase after you, and gives you a higher status.

Girl: "I had such a great day at work today, my friend had her birthday and brought in an amazing raspberry cake for everyone, and we all broke out into a spontaneous dance party!"

Positive association response: "I love little things like that, it doesn't take much to make a mundane day fill you with that awesome unexpected warmth."
Good memory association: "I love how cake brings that out in people. I think it's the association with the great birthday parties from our childhood, when we were too young to care about any responsibilities and cake was just about the most amazing thing in the world. Cake was it."
Cocky/Funny: "Spontaneous dancing is so much fun! You look like the kind of girl who lets loose a lot and can start up dance parties at the drop of a...well, by the looks of you, skirt. Haha, but seriously, that's one of my favorite skills in a woman. Were you like that as a kid?"
Putting it all together: "I love how moments like that bring you back to childhood, when we didn't care about how well we danced and we just did it, and it was so much fun because nobody cared, nobody was judging anyone else, it was just freeform energetic release. Unfortunately for you, judging by those huge shoes, you never figured out that people ever started judging you. Haha, but that's so cool of you, many girls are too uptight to do that, and it's a real turnoff for me. How often do you do spontaneous fun stuff like that?"

One last point: focus on the three most powerful things a man can give to a girl: safety, as if she's a girl and you're her father (creepy, I know, but unless you're her actual dad, it's all good); adventure, as if you two are on team set to find new places and experience new things together; and status--making her feel good about herself, through lending her some of your approval and status (when she does or says things you genuinely are interested of or like).

Feel free to ask questions or PM me. I'm not an expert by any means, but these things have brought me from low beginner to low intermediate, and I continue to get better whenever I return to them.

BenedictKenny · 2010-01-29T23:47:23+00:00

I'm going to send you PM with some additional materials.

First, I'm going to point out that I'm asking you to do these things so that you know your roots, and develop your inner game (have a true understanding of the factors at work). Too many people come into this game wanting tricks, the same way people who want to get in shape all of a sudden want to know the "secrets." That's why there are so many sh*Tty PUA's and guys who look big, but can't play sports or throw a decent jab and end up with chicken legs.

Find some of the writings of David DeAngelo (Double Your Dating, Cocky & Funny, etc. [e-books and e-mail archives). You may be able to find videos also. Try to, for your own sake. Actually, don't try. Do it.

Find some of "Style's [Neil Strauss]" writings, The Game, etc. Read again.

Find some of Mystery's writings [Mystery Method, bla bla bla]. Guess what? Read.

At this point, you are acquainted with a few of the major mPUA's ideas.

During this time, you should also be out meeting people, learning to become better at socializing, applying what you're reading (even if you aren't finished reading), and generally learning to become a more sociable, better person (not just in terms of girls, but overall. That's the real point of PUA, despite what you might have gathered. You're making yourself a worthwhile person).

For more reading, look up some of Tyler Durden's business, Ross Jeffries, bla bla bla. The more you read, the more insight you get.

Also, there are the books on social psychology (specific titles that you'll find out about through reading the PUA accounts), as well as specific subjects (conversation, nonverbal communication [body language is a pop term that Philistines use. Unfortunately, most PUA's are vapid Philistines], and everything else that has to do with social matters, self improvement, etc.)

Yes, I am verbose.

2010-01-29T23:58:16+00:00

good for you, take the advice here and stick with it, it'll change your life.

rmbarnes · 2010-01-31T21:30:26+00:00

You sound very much like me.

Take things one step at a time. Just start focusing on approaching women at first. Approaching women you don't know and striking up a conversation can be scary, and if this is the case for you then you need to overcome this fear.

What you say isn't too important, but what a lot of new guys like myself find is that we just don't know what to say. Memorize around 5 opening lines. You can find some decent one's on may PUA websites / forums. You must learn these lines off by heart, so that when you approach a women you're not nervous about what to say. The word's just roll out. To do this, sit at home and just say the lines you have chosen again and again and again until you don't even have to think about saying them.

The most important thing for you at this stage is to just get out there and start meeting girls.

Set yourself monthly targets for the number of approaches you will make, and in a month or two you will be comfortable approaching and then you can move onto the next stage which would probably be building a highly effective approach (right body language / positioning, false time constraints ect.).

For now though, just approach as many women as possible to get comfortable doing it. Don't worry about DHV, disqualification, body language or anything complicated at this stage. All that can come later.

nooneinparticular · 2010-02-06T08:27:33+00:00

Ah, law school.

Don't worry, the women come flocking to people like you. There's nothing you have to do. You can be a total asshole.

Dromerin · 2010-02-14T16:47:36+00:00

Is there an Austin Lair or something?

Title	Hey Seddit. Beginner looking for advice here.
Author	Dromerin
Upvotes	15
Comments	31
Date	January 29, 2010 6:58 PM UTC (16 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/avs9l/hey_seddit_beginner_looking_for_advice_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/hey-seddit-beginner-looking-for-advice-here.1309786 https://theredarchive.com/post/1309786

Comments

Body Language

Tone

Conversation

Basics

Advanced