Hooking up sucks, thoughts

SpinPlates · 2019-08-11T14:12:42+00:00

You either have the appetite or don't.

Try going to church. Those girls are wild and low key slutty but will date you for a few months.

NewRedditorHere · 2019-08-11T06:22:09+00:00

Nah, you’re right. It’s not fun anymore when you’ve reached a certain age and experience level. I need an emotional connection. Either that, or you have to be absurdly attractive for it to be fun.

markmcccc · 2019-08-11T04:28:02+00:00

Yep, its suppose to be cool to have tons of promiscuous sex. It means your hot, you have money or whatever but in reality it just makes you feel lonely and empty. This was my life for a few years after moving to NYC but I eventually decided I would only have sex with girls I had an emotional attachment to and was going to see/date for a while.

VikingWaluigi · 2019-08-11T22:27:36+00:00

Do you go to the clubs alone?

Dracron · 2019-08-11T18:02:28+00:00

I would just say you've gotten passed the getting laid part. Now, you can choose to use your skills to get into a real relationship. In the meantime have fun.
Of course, if your getting nothing out of it or its doing more harm then good, it might not be a bad idea to try something other than going out to get laid. A new hobby, videogames you been waiting to play, books, work on another part of yourself you want to improve. You can always get laid again, when you just want some fun.

One night stands are fun, but meaningless. Sometimes thats what your looking for, but it sounds like your passed that point for now. Also, if you dont want to be tied down to one person, you could always try polyamory. As long as you're honest and work with the people you date you it means you can have multiple partners. If that sounds interesting, you should do a little research into it before you dive in head first, but if it works for you it can be amazing. Just be upfront about being poly when youre interested in dating someone, and listen to the needs of your partners.

flashkicker23 · 2019-08-11T05:45:42+00:00

Which city?

recyclablebanthas · 2019-08-11T04:55:07+00:00

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zaryaguy · 2019-08-11T13:35:50+00:00

Im guessing you let them know you're seeing multiple women. This probably makes them hesitant to see you again

ntipz011 · 2019-08-11T15:04:44+00:00

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recyclablebanthas · 2019-08-11T17:18:51+00:00

____1____

I've been in more lays than most of the girls I hookup with, still I feel like I'm always looking for more, and they always just wanna get fucked no strings attached.

You're describing a situation where you want something in particular, but you are settling for something different. If you keep this up and can lead to a lot of bad things, like loss of self-respect, and even self-hatred and misanthropy.

This is why it is important to have you're dating goals straight before you put yourself in the dating pool.

____2____

Maybe I'm expecting too much early on from those girls.

There's nothing wrong with having priorities and goals. the problem is that you're going out and casually sleeping with girls when you apparently want a relationship.

And from your description you are apparently not even being that choosy and sleeping people that you know are not relationship material.

____3____

But I always feel bad when a girl is gonna leave after 5+ hours together & sex and is surprised .....

So you have to sort this out for yourself how this happens, but clearly you have to find a different way. You have to go to different places and or meet different people come up with different values and priorities in life.

There's nothing wrong with what they're doing, and there's nothing wrong with wanting what you want, but clearly the two do not match up, and that's where it gets unhealthy. For you and for them.

The mistake here would be to follow advice that advocates that you simply take it slow with these girls that are clearly not interested in developing anything. You'll either screen them out when your priorities become clear, or you'll end up with something just functional.

____4____

I'm pretty sure that it's some inner game issue that I'm having right there but can't tackle it right.

Really it's just a matter of you needing to hit the reset button on your dating life and find a way to expose yourself to different kinds of people with different mindsets.

dude_reddit_sucks · 2019-08-12T09:10:39+00:00

What kind of build up are you doing with them before hand? Are you getting drunk? Are you doing anything to make it spicy and exciting? Are you targeting chicks that excite and interest you, or just girls you know you can fuck?

ZachLeo1 · 2019-08-11T04:28:43+00:00

Same. Sex without emotions or simple human connection is no better than jerking off

Title	Hooking up sucks, thoughts
Author	ntipz011
Upvotes	11
Comments	33
Date	August 11, 2019 4:15 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/cosbcj/hooking_up_sucks_thoughts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/hooking-up-sucks-thoughts.1475806 https://theredarchive.com/post/1475806

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