How confidence can be misunderstood as over confidence

norwegiandoggo · 2025-07-07T11:03:33+00:00

A confident man is generally not misperceived as being overconfident or arrogant. This is a hypothetical scenario that typically never happens except for in your imagination.

More likely is that you THINK that you're confident. But actually you're overconfident or arrogant - and they perceive you correctly. You are just not able to judge yourself accurately.

Rhino3750ss · 2025-07-07T12:12:25+00:00

Key is reading the room because female perception and emotion is variable.

If a girl thinks you are a Chad, your confidence is perceived as genuine and congruent..even if it isn't.

If a girl sees you as a non Chad, your confidence is automatically perceived as overkill and incongruent..even if it isn't.

bafun13 · 2025-07-07T11:29:43+00:00

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-07-07T14:01:43+00:00

Arrognace is believing you are superior to to others, and acting like it. Looking down on everyone else for not being at ur level and dismissing them as if they are beneath you and don't deserve to be treated as your equals or with respect.

Confidence is believing in ur own value and abilities without needing to compare yourself to others or diminish them. It's a quiet, grounded trust in who you are, without seeking to prove it, flaunt it, or use it to put anyone else down.

Confidence allows room for humility, curiosity, and growth. Arrogance shuts that door, needing to always be "above" to feel safe. Arrogance demands recognition, confidence doesn't. Arrogance belittles others to feel big while confidence makes space for others to rise too without feeling threathend.

In order to appear confident, you just need to be humble and understand your limits and flaws without feeling ashamed of them or feeling the need to justify yourself when they are pointed out, allowing yourself to improve and learn from others without feeling defensive and being certain in ur worth without seeking validation or recogntion from others to feel good about yourself, treating their judgments as feedback, that doesn't neccesarily define you, but willing to improve if fair, not to please them or get their approval, but for your own growth.

So confidence is the ability to tell yourself:

"i know who i am, i am aware of my virtues and my flaws, i don't need to hide my flaws, or be defensive about them when someone mentions them, but i also don't let them define me or shrink me into depression, shame or self-doubt. I don't need to overcompensate, impress anyone or justify myself. If someone doesn't like me, i don't begin to quetion my worth or my identity or have a personal crisis that leads me to depression. I'll treat it as feedback at best, and move on to the next adventure gracefully, knowing that true connections aren't forced because I accept with humility that not everyone i like has to like me back, and that not everyone i like is good for me anyway".

Arrogance is when you are control by your ego and tell yourself:

"I know who I am, and that makes me better than others. I highlight my strengths and downplay my flaws, or deny them altogether, because admitting them feels like weakness. If someone points them out, I get defensive or dismissive, because how dare they question me? I need to be seen as superior, so I overcompensate, try to impress, or control how others perceive me. If someone doesn’t like me, I assume something’s wrong with them, or I spiral, because I secretly tied my worth to their approval. I can't handle rejection, because deep down, I’m not sure who I am without applause. I chase connections or women to validate and prove my worth to others, not to build something real with her. And when it doesn’t go my way, I blame her or the world rather than reflect. Because i am already perfect, and thus everyone should want me no matter what, if someone doesn't, it's because they are fucking dumb and have a shitty taste and thus ill tell myself that they just weren't worthy anyway or that they are not even somoene i wanted... she is not that hot anyway.

BurnItDownSR · 2025-07-07T16:06:58+00:00

If you're the only one who thinks you're truly confident then odds are, you aren't.

Should you care about what some randos think of you then? No.

But you should care about what the people you look up to and admire the most think of you. If they don't think you're truly confident, then you aren't.

This is the problem with trying to be self-taught with this, some guy that's bad with with women can't just suddenly identify when they're doing things right.

I'm not telling you to get a dating coach but if you can, try to find someone else in your city that's also doing this, hope that person is more successful at it than you, and let that person give you feedback.

Oh man, if only you knew what it was like back in 2013 when there were groups of people learning seduction that regularly hung out face to face.

Title	How confidence can be misunderstood as over confidence
Author	HypeTekCrew
Upvotes	4
Comments	5
Date	July 7, 2025 10:55 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ltr49m/how_confidence_can_be_misunderstood_as_over/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-confidence-can-be-misunderstood-as-over.1556526 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556526

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