How do I be assertive without coming off as a jerk/arrogant?

15ykoh · 2013-12-29T03:17:14+00:00

Hmm, on being nice, focus on being kind. Don't be nice to just 'conform', or because it's convenient. Nice implies subservience, while being kind is genuinely good morale standing. Don't treat women any different then men. Open doors for all, act with prose and with manners to everyone. When a girl asks of you to do an out of the way favor, imagine a male equivalent doing it. Only do it if you'd being willing to do it if you would do it for the male equivalent.

NoBullshitMachine · 2013-12-30T08:45:03+00:00

You can be the nicest guy in the world but still be a a 'bad boy' that gets tons of attraction. How?

Boldness. You need to boldly and unapologetically express to girls that you are a sexual man and are looking for a sexual woman. That goes against our social conditioning (which is a shame). And its scary. You become a rule breaker. A risk taker. A man willing to take her hand and lead her on a sexual adventure. There's nothing sexier.

Watch this video: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=G6BOHzlP-Uk

Jake_STi-RA · 2013-12-29T06:25:35+00:00

It's about developing true confidence. Imagine a person that has it all made for him. He will have no need to prove anyone wrong, put someone in his/her place, nor feel the need to assert dominance over people. They let their accomplishments speak for themselves.

I make fun of my gym buddies in a joking matter. One friend has large biceps and I jokingly say, "Haha, you skip arm day!" He laughs along because he knows what he has and has no need to prove me wrong.

There is a difficult line to tread between being humble/truly confident vs. being too quiet/reserved. This is the problem I have. When you're quiet like I am, you don't want to come off as a loud asshole, so you'd rather be quiet rather than let the world know what you have to offer.

How do you exercise this? Good question. I have yet to find out. I have trouble differentiating between "Is this person joking with me?" vs. "Why is this person trying to passive aggressively put me in my place and one up me?"

HappyJerk · 2013-12-29T18:21:04+00:00

Do you guys have some good tips or examples that'll help me be more assertive without coming off like an asshole?

You need to have solid boundaries that nobody can cross. And when somebody tries to cross them, don't let them. You don't even have to say anything in many situations - its in rare cases that even have to verbalize why you are not doing something.

Zogzilla · 2013-12-31T16:33:20+00:00

Hey, thanks for the advice guys. I basically told her being blunt is who I am and told her honestly. Cause she did say she wasn't sure what to expect from me. We had a great discussion. Though I think we're better off as friends, and that's perfectly fine.

Thanks again for the advice.

Title	How do I be assertive without coming off as a jerk/arrogant?
Author	Zogzilla
Upvotes	10
Comments	7
Date	December 29, 2013 2:59 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1tx13u/how_do_i_be_assertive_without_coming_off_as_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-be-assertive-without-coming-off-as-a.1363696 https://theredarchive.com/post/1363696

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