Generally guys I'm attracted to and who are attracted to me fall into two categories:

1) intense and escalate way too quickly. They won't stop touching me all the time. Almost sex-obsessed. I like being touched, just not constantly. Intense physically and emotionally. Physically I can just about cope with. Emotionally, after a few dates, no. Saying you're really into me and suggesting we go on a round-the-world trip is not what I want to hear. It makes me want to back off.

2) really shy, even if they're into me. Almost no physical contact/ scared of physical contact, despite my physical contact (light touch on arms, hands etc.). Fantastic conversation, but nothing sexual at all, despite wanting to meet up 1-1, saying we're compatible, etc. I want them to demonstrate they want to fuck me, physically.

How can I get a happy medium? I want sexual and intellectual compatability. I feel like we fall into either 1) or 2) and it's difficult to get 1) to be more than just sexual and difficult to get 2) to be more sexual.

Typical dates include going out for drinks and also meeting friends, visiting a new town, going for a hike, going for lunch/ dinner, going for a long walk.