How do i stop chasing attention all the time?? How do i be a man? How do i have a personaltiy? How to stop being boring/bland??

Cahir101 · 2019-05-08T13:44:59+00:00

The only person you need to be better than is who you were yesterday. That's it. Be 1% better each day.

Things can and do change. Start by loving yourself. Take good care of yourself. I think i have a few book recommendations for you. "No more Mr. Nice guy""The power of now." And "12 rules of life." I have no more and 12 on audible, which I can give to you for free. If you're interested.

All is well.

matt_ify · 2019-05-08T13:48:11+00:00

Dude. Hang in there. I totally feel you. I would recommend meditation for starters. I know its hard, but try. You have to. Start reading books like “How to talk to anyone”, start watching some self love or self help videos on youtube. Figure yourself out.

I get you because I too am pretty fucking boring myself, at times. But I do know how to have fun, and that didn’t just come outta no where. I had to grow, I had to do what I had to do to change myself.

No doubt, at work, nobody really makes conversations with me as they would with other people. Over time I start to think about why that always happens. And even with that, I still get laid. No issue. But the best outcome is always to be that interesting guy out there in social space/sex AND the work place.

You’ll get there man. Don’t lose hope. Often the problem that you’re facing comes from way way back. Figure that out. Keep growing. Learning never stops. Godspeed.

acceptallow · 2019-05-08T15:09:27+00:00

I'd probably not focus on dating at this point. You seem to focus on an idea on who and what you should be, and the gap between where you are, and where you want to be, is tearing you apart. Talking to someone should be about genuine curiosity. They say something, and you follow up with trying to learn more. How can you do this with all that noise you seem to be carrying around? There is no natural flow when you have all these strict rules on where and what you should say. Does this make sense?

The cure is to accept where you are. Accept your shortcomings, accept your fears of being lonely. This is not to say that you should be lonely or you should struggle with conversations, it is more to say that this is your starting point, and that is ok. I think you also should learn to love yourself because if your inner voice was your roommate, you'd probably kick him out pretty soon.

Basically, you need to chill and relax and allow yourself to be whoever you are. I know, I know, easier said than done. This is where meditation and compassion exercises come in. Eastern psychology is so much more advanced than western psychology, so if you want to learn it, you have to accept some of the spiritual part they talk about too.

This is how you start to get along with your self and reduce the need for approval

https://www.tarabrach.com/part-1-the-healing-power-of-self-compassion-2/

https://www.tarabrach.com/part-2-the-healing-power-of-self-compassion/

Good luck dude. I am 100% certain I would find you interesting given the chance to really get to know you.

AAtmozfears · 2019-05-08T14:36:52+00:00

Check out Elisha Long and Elliot Hulse on youtube. They've been my two mentors for helping me re discover my masculinity.

general_smog · 2019-05-08T13:58:07+00:00

I always think I’m boring too but most people seem to find me interesting. I constantly am reading. Less so these days but I spent the past ten years just constantly studying some subject or another. I’m full of “useless” information. People like that stuff. I guess.

As a man though you don’t really have to be that interesting for a women to think you are interesting. They like mystery. Be mysterious and you can seem far more interesting than you are.

jzell3 · 2019-05-08T18:42:06+00:00

Focus on your bigger "WHY" Find a purpose or something that drives you in live that is bigger than women's validation

hamacule55 · 2019-05-08T13:50:34+00:00

[permanently deleted]

cbh28 · 2019-05-08T14:47:49+00:00

Stop. First of all, stop trashing yourself. What you repeat to yourself, is what sticks. The more you hate yourself, the worse you're gonna get. You act like being socially adept is what gives you value, but it is not. These thoughts are in your head all the time when you're around people, and they're the reason you suck at conversation. Get out of your head. Ask simple questions at first, get to know a but about the person, and listen. Don't think of what you're gonna say next, just listen so you catch everything they say. This will allow you to find topics to talk about based on what they've told you.

But the first thing you gotta do is stop being so hard on yourself. Why would anyone like you if you don't even like yourself?

VIGILANCE981 · 2019-05-08T14:48:27+00:00

Andy Warhol was like this he spent so much energy trying to entertain people and got nowhere once he stop giving a fuck and started to be distant everybody want a peice if him

CHEEKY_CUNT1 · 2019-05-08T14:14:43+00:00

Hey man, r/asktrp may have a lot of answers for you, especially “how do I become a man”.

Title	How do i stop chasing attention all the time?? How do i be a man? How do i have a personaltiy? How to stop being boring/bland??
Author	hamacule55
Upvotes	16
Comments	28
Date	May 8, 2019 1:25 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/bm58qu/how_do_i_stop_chasing_attention_all_the_time_how/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-stop-chasing-attention-all-the-time-how.1468335 https://theredarchive.com/post/1468335

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