How do I stop having crushes and instead get women to have crushes on me?

ImJustSo · 2017-12-30T17:20:07+00:00

During interactions with women, there are things I want to do and things I need to do to succeed with them. There are also things that I need to not do, and those can conflict with what I want to do, but they won't ever conflict with the things I need to do. You need to start keeping track of the behaviors you realize do not lead to success, and simply avoid them.

What I feel women want from me is a fantasy of a man that they cannot attain easily. The truth is the opposite of that, I'm easy to attain. I think a woman is attractive and in my mind, we've already had sex a hundred times. They don't know that and I won't tell them that.

Well, how do i maintain their interest? How do I keep them talking to me? How do I get what I want from them? How do I do those things and still give them what they want?

They don't actually want me, they want the fantasy they've created in their mind, using my face and my body.

Well, shit...now it's getting confusing! How do I give them that fantasy without letting them know that the truth is that they can easily have me? Furthermore, how do I stand out compared to other men? I just need to be more attractive than most men, and it sure as fuck won't be my looks alone that do that. There's so many guys that are more physically attractive than me, it would be ridiculous to think that's what will lead to my success. I have to be different.

I already know that she finds me attractive, but how do I uphold that fantasy she has that I'm unattainable, compared to other attractive men, while still getting what I want in the end?

If we simplify everything I've said thus far, there's her fantasy, and there's my reality. What I need is a bridge which closes that gap between the two.

My method of doing it is what works for me. Other men can choose their own methods, and I can tell you the simplest way to bridge a gap of fantasy with reality is to simply lie. If lying consistently is something you're okay with, then it's by far the easiest method. You find out what she wants and you lie your fuckin ass off. Essentially, this is a method employed by many real world salesman. They lie about their product, they take advantage of someone's fantasy and use lies to bridge the gap. If you're comfortable with that, then that's your prerogative.

Personally, I like to sell a quality product, so I try to avoid lies. Since I don't have lies in my toolbox, I use something else which maintains my morals. I don't feel any regret by withholding information. I don't have any moral obligation to be completely forthcoming with my information, unless they specifically ask something. Even then, it might not be in my best interest to share the information yet and things get tricky, but that's not important.

So what exactly do I do? What bridge do I build? I build my bridge through withholding information, but I keep tickling her fantasy.

If she finds me attractive, then she wants sex. I will talk about sex, but I won't ever say words like, "You, I, me, we" etc directly. That erases the fantasy and immediately puts my reality in place, and boom, her idea of me that she's built is gone. Women like a funny man, who doesn't love to laugh? They like thinking about sex, who doesn't? I can make her think about sex with me, without ever mentioning that we're going to have sex in the future. I can make her think about my dick and be funny by saying something like, "Girls are easy to make laugh, usually I just pull my pants down."

Well, now she's curious about whether I'm telling the truth or not. She obviously thinks I'm funny if she laughs at that joke, but she's never seen my dick, so she doesn't know if it's worth laughing at or worth sucking and fucking. She'll definitely start wondering about it though. It's also not a lie exactly, because I'm sure there's plenty of women that would laugh if I just whipped my dick out (e.g. Lesbians).

You can do this with a ton of subjects, but you just never come right out and say something. Use double entendres, use word play, puns, jokes, etc to place an image in a woman's head without ever shattering her fantasy with reality. It's exciting for her, it's confusing, it's emotionally challenging. If you were talking about how she spilled coffee once on her shirt, then you say, "Wow! Bet your tits were hot!" She's going to take it as a challenge and say, "WERE hot? My tits are hot."

What isn't being said is, "I want to see your tits." but that's what she might be hearing in her fantasy (which conveniently aligns with your reality). It doesn't have to be about sex or physical features, you can suggest meeting without ever saying it directly as well, "So, who's taking you out this weekend?"

You can ask for phone numbers without saying it, too, "Gee, this conversation has been such fun, too bad we can't ever talk to each other again!"

"What! Why?" - Her

"Well, how could we?! We don't know each other and we haven't exchanged numbers! Oh well..." - This isn't a great example, but hopefully you get my meaning. You can suggest things without coming right out and saying it. If I've been maintaining this fantasy, then she will give me her number. She wants to cross the bridge I've built for her, because she's curious about my reality. She wants to know if her fantasy is possible, she wants to know if it's as good as the fantasy she's created, so she's going to start crossing the bridge.

Women don't know for absolute surety if I think they're attractive. They don't know for sure if I want their phone number, or to meet, or to fuck, or what. All they know is that I'm fun, I'm funny, I'm attractive, and I'm still talking to them.

And so they start running across that bridge, hoping it won't crumble before they get to my reality. And the chase is on.

Don't expect this method of attracting women to be easy. Don't expect it to work everytime. Don't expect all women to enjoy it either, because sometimes you'll forget to give them the reality they want, by the time they're ready. Don't expect yourself to not fuck up either. I still fuck it up and I still crumble the bridge on accident.

But you wanted to know how to get women to chase and this is what works for me.

brianbria · 2017-12-30T08:09:19+00:00

My number one mistake is that I've chased women before

Let's define 'chase':

chase - an act of pursuing someone or something.

Assuming this is what you mean. It is NOT a mistake to chase women. Chasing women to find out if they like you and to see if you can get with them is what bold men do, and it's how you will get laid or get a girlfriend. It is something to be proud of as many guys jack off to porn at home, you are out there chasing.

The only time chasing is a problem is when you are chasing women who you know are not interested in you and you keep trying to convince them.

Are you doing the former or the latter?

I don't think it was my attractiveness either, but me telling them that I liked them totally killed any attraction they had of me.

This is one interpretation. Is there other alternative interpretations to why they lost attraction though? Perhaps it wasn't admitting that you liked them, it was the way in which you delivered it? Or perhaps you saught out girls who already didn't seem interested in you? Or perhaps you had body odour? etc.

I was a needy douchebag, and I would like to change that.

This sounds like a harsh judgement on yourself. Will you give me 3 specific examples of behaviours you did that make you believe you are a needy douchebag?

Also how do I talk to girls again? It was so easy in HS because we all knew each other via social circles but in community college it's much different and it's like building up those social circles again.

Through feeling your fear, and getting back into your body through mindfulness, allowing your excuses to remain as just excuses, and go and talk to the girl anyway.

vardarac · 2017-12-30T09:15:53+00:00

Also how do I talk to girls again? It was so easy in HS because we all knew each other via social circles but in community college it's much different and it's like building up those social circles again.

If you're doing cold approaches, I would start with something you like (or think you like, based on your immediate impression) about her. I approached a couple yesterday who looked like celebrities and made like I was doing a guessing game - "Hey, I've seen you somewhere before. Let's see, you're Eminem... And you're the Cash-me-outside girl." It was dumb, but it was fun and got my foot in the door, in this case just to meet a couple of new people.

who_let_the_cats_in · 2017-12-30T07:07:05+00:00

Get rid of your khakis. Roll up to their house windows down blasting ZZ Top sharp dressed man. Sit and wait for crush to be dispersed.

Title	How do I stop having crushes and instead get women to have crushes on me?
Author	Advancedsoda
Upvotes	16
Comments	18
Date	December 30, 2017 6:55 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7n077y/how_do_i_stop_having_crushes_and_instead_get/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-stop-having-crushes-and-instead-get-women.1439258 https://theredarchive.com/post/1439258

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