How do you be confident when you don’t have any positive refinforcement?

dalen52 · 2018-10-11T00:17:29+00:00

Find someone that you can tell likes you. There’s tons that do. Focus on those people and feed your ego my man. I will say Never use people. But you sound like you need some positive reps. I’m wishing you luck.

gg1angela · 2018-10-11T03:06:02+00:00

May help if u set goals for urself, I just read about a 30 day challenge in another post on here and that would probably really help u. U will gain positive reinforcement as u push urself out the comfort zone with a 30 day challenge and get good reactions from girls. Plus if the 30 day challenge forum gets made, u could pick to try something someone else reports doing- it sounds like coming up with the next move can be challenging for u so this would give u something to model after.

JUST_WANTTOBEHAPPY · 2018-10-11T00:34:02+00:00

Honestly there's no quick fix for this,u been living under this mindset for past 20 years. So I would argue, to a extend you still need to fake it till you make it,not just externally but internally. I would recommend reading "Models" by Mark Manson or "how to be 3% man" by Corey Wayne. Understand the theory and apply it, inner game has to work before outer game can start to really florish .

JohnMcLauchlan · 2018-10-11T09:24:33+00:00

Im sort of like you. Grew up very religious, was the quiet weird kid at school. After convincing myself Girls value confidence > all, I just started to fake my confidence by acting very careless and obnoxious. Sure, a lot of girls started to genuinely hate me, but a lot of girls digged it too. Once I started seeing how my fake confidence got me results it just evolved into natural confidence. I have confidence in the fact that girls like confidence.

TheJoeyJoeJoe · 2018-10-11T11:09:11+00:00

Hi mate,

A few ideas from me...

Find a process to trust in

The early days of the pick-up community didn't focus on self-confidence at all.

These guys just had confidence in the PROCESS. They knew if they followed steps A,B,C,D,E properly, they'd get results, so they performed these steps.

I think a great start would be to find a process - and immerse yourself in this for 28/30 days.

Consider purchasing a digital course from Real Social Dynamics. 'The Natural' by RSD Max would be exactly what I'm surprising, and would be great for building social momentum.

(I wrote step-by-step guides to daygame and nightgame here but they've both been removed by mods - what a shame)

Then, GO OUT, get reference experiences, watch yourself improve and gain confidence from that.

Get feedback

Here's an important step to maintaining confidence when you have a day of no positive feedback , (which I learned when I was training salespeople).

Make sure you understand WHY you failed - and have a plan for what you're going to do different next time.

A forum like this is really useful to help you discover where you're going wrong. Even better, get a wingman to motivate you and give feedback. You can do the same for him...

A few tips for growing self-confidence internally

Meditate. Learn to live in the moment and not be ruled by negative thoughts.
Set yourself goals (in pick-up and life) then hit them. Be proud that you're even trying to hit them.
Develop an awesome life that a girl would want to be a part of. Friends, hobbies, fun etc.
Write a list of 10 reasons why a girl would want to spend time with you. If you can't think of 10 reasons, think of 10 things you'd like to put on there and start working on yourself until those things become true. You've already listed loads in this post.
Remember you can only ever control 50% of an interaction. Judge yourself positively on the fact you approached at all. Then (outsider the field) focus only on how your 50% could have been better.

Finally, being inexperienced at sex isn't as bad as everyone believes. If a girl likes you, she wants to experience you. Relax! ;)

deathfuton · 2018-10-11T05:03:31+00:00

Just stop caring, live in the minute. It helps to smoke some weed then you hellucinate background noise as inspiration for things to say. If you have the income then your just making excuses. Haha confidence. You'r analyzing things way to much just do. Just talk.

Title	How do you be confident when you don’t have any positive refinforcement?
Author	drunkentwitch1
Upvotes	16
Comments	7
Date	October 10, 2018 10:44 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/9n4cd9/how_do_you_be_confident_when_you_dont_have_any/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-be-confident-when-you-dont-have-any.1454828 https://theredarchive.com/post/1454828

Comments

Find a process to trust in

Get feedback

A few tips for growing self-confidence internally