How do you keep a conversation going during a first encounter at the bar?

undermined-coeff · 2022-03-08T22:15:58+00:00

If there's loud music, get ready to scream in her ear.

Make accusations instead of asking questions. Example:

Instead of "where are you from?"

Say

"I bet you're Italian!"

This gives an emotional response and gets her talking.

When she gives you info, always play upon it. Example:

Her: "I'm actually German!"

You: "OMG HOW DID I MISS THAT!?? I can totally see you doing 200 on the Autobahn blowing past all the old ladies while eating bratwurst!"

Also, know when the interaction is over. If it's losing steam, don't try to keep it on life support. Instead, say "hey, I have to go meet my friends, but before I go, we should connect on insta/Snapchat/pornhub/whatever"

And ALWAYS WALK AWAY WITH A SMIRK ON YOUR FACE. even if she flat out rejects you. People are paying attention and all they know about what just happened is body language/facial expressions. If you walk away like she just gave you her number and told you to hit her up later for sex, people will think that's what happened.

Therocksays2020 · 2022-03-08T22:08:27+00:00

Get really good at telling stories. That’s a great way to get people invested in you.

coachmelloweyes · 2022-03-08T22:34:04+00:00

Keep asking about them and making comments/assumptions/opinions on the things they tell you.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-03-08T22:31:26+00:00

Most women want to laugh, and have fun. They don’t want to over analyse shit, or think logical when they are flirting.

It’s all about being humorous, observant, commenting on things you observe about the environment, heck even if you to all about topics, let’s say religion you can make it funny and light by simply joking:

• ⁠She: So what do you think about religion?”

• ⁠You: That me and the devil would get along great, i’m sure you could be our succubus and join our plans for world domination”

or

• ⁠She: So what do you think about religion?”

• ⁠You: “Well i’m going to hell for sure, unless someone saves me in less than 24 hours… That’s why i came for your help”

See what i did there?

Rather than talking about religion, whether I believe in god, or which religion is the real one, or getting into a debate about the big bang or evolution, or any boring crap like that… I switched it something more humorous and more light.…

Another example:

• ⁠She: “What do you think about science”

• ⁠You: “Well girl, I think you and me have some chemistry together😏”

You take the opportunity to flirt, while avoiding any deep convos.

Let’s put one last made up example of a playful conversation just to help you see an ideal fun conversation:

• ⁠She: What’s your sign?

• ⁠You: Libra and you

• ⁠She: Oh same

• ⁠You: Well, let’s just get married then

• ⁠She: Haha, for sure, where is our wedding?

• ⁠You: Las vegas baby, but this has to be our secret, or we might get in trouble”

• ⁠She: Why would we get in trouble?

• ⁠You: Because my parents are christian and i’m not, and they want a catholic weddings.

• ⁠She: i’d like a catholic wedding too”

• ⁠You: Well darling, then i’m afraid we can’t be together anymore, i want a divorce

• ⁠She: Hahaha, but we aren’t even married yet, how can there be a divorce?

• ⁠You: Doesn’t matter, you keep the children, I keep the dog. Tell them I’ll miss them, but not as much as the dog.

• ⁠She: Wow, and why shouldn’t i be the one to keep the dog instead?

• ⁠You: Really? are you really gonna abandon your children to a guy like me? What kinda of mother are you?

• ⁠She: Oh! Says the guy who misses the dog more than OUR children?

• ⁠You: I mean they don’t call a dog a man’s best friend for nothing… Besides, the dog loves me more

• ⁠She: 😂That’s not true, the dog loves mommy more.

• ⁠You: “Don’t make our dog choose who he loves most, it’s not fair to them

• ⁠She: I don’t need to, coz he is a good boy, and good boys love mommy more

• ⁠You: - There is only one way to make this divorce deal.

• ⁠She: - What way?

• ⁠You: - Rock paper scissors. Whoever wins gets to keep the dog, and whoever loses owes the other a drink

• ⁠She: - Haha ok, 1 2 3

• ⁠You: - (I win) Piña colada for me and my dog thank you

• ⁠You: - (She wins) “I’ll miss you buddy, (talking to an imaginary dog) I wish i’d marry you instead”.

That’s more or less how to be playful and fun.

Ice_otter · 2022-03-09T21:17:51+00:00

Warning: this is my opinion, it is not at all factual.

I would ask open ended questions, keep them talking about themselves and their own opinions, humans naturally want to reciprocate (it’s called the law of Reciprocity), so they should ask you about your own answers as-well. Do not ask a question that has a yes or no answer, as that would just leave you quickly having to improvise another question over and over again, making you look dumb.

However, you can also start out asking a question that primes an open ended question.

What are you Passionate about?

Followed up by

What about _____ makes you so passionate?

A couple of open ended questions could be

What fictional character do you most relate to?

What is your favorite word?

What is the best advice you have ever received?

Once someone gives their answer, and if they don’t ask you a question in return, you can follow up in 2 different ways.

Mirror the exact last few words that just came out of their mouth. No more then 1-3 words.

Person: I am passionate about volunteering to people in need.

You can reply: People in need? (Asking for more insight) OR,

People in need. (Agreeing asking her to move on)

Asking in either a statement or question format is either upward or downward reflecting depending on the context.

The second way to replying to their question is by labeling. You are labeling what they are talking about, signifying that you are listening. This will signal them to continue.

It seems like ___ is valuable to you.

It feels like you don’t like ____

It looks like ____ will make this easier.

It seems, looks, feels, like (context) (something they will agree with)

It is ok to also mislabel, making a label they don’t agree with, because it will show them that you are listening but didn’t quite get the message. They will scramble to correct you, as all humans have an urge to correct others.

The whole idea here is to gauge as much information from the person you are speaking with by keeping them talking. Open ended questions are great for this because it lets the person being questioned answer on their turf. The more they talk, the more you will find clues about something you both can talk about, then whalla, you are both in a “trance” of conversation.

I also would advise to make sure all of your questions are either How or What questions. The word “Why” calls upon someone to defend what they just said, which may subconsciously evoke a feeling of defensiveness.

Get an arsenal of open ended questions for your disposal. Brainstorm some or look so up online if you are lazy. The one I listed about what people are passionate about is strong, since people typically love to talk about what they are passionate about…

The better of a listener you are, the better job you will do with your mirrors and labels.

Please let me know what you thought!

incognito3107 · 2022-03-09T06:33:51+00:00

You need to use variety of emotions while you are talking and engage the girl into conversation. You need to find common ground and don't force things. Sometimes your temperaments just don't click, you should enjoy your talk, not be stressed out about it. Keep sentences relatively short, make her answer things, don't make absolute conclusions, change the pace and level of directness, make her curious about some things you said, be little laid back with your engangement...

Anyway, you just need to practice and see what works for you.

Title	How do you keep a conversation going during a first encounter at the bar?
Author	byronsanchezzz
Upvotes	17
Comments	11
Date	March 8, 2022 10:07 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/t9s6uu/how_do_you_keep_a_conversation_going_during_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-keep-a-conversation-going-during-a.1265023 https://theredarchive.com/post/1265023

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