How do you know when it's time to stop pursuing her?

recyclablebantha · 2015-04-17T14:58:34+00:00

I can't tell if a girl is simply dodging hangout plans because she's busy, or if she's using it as an excuse to not go out with me.

Look, right now you are exploring all of this, so it seems like you can't tell.

Really, you can. You can feel it in your stomach if the girl is chomping at the bit to hang out with you or if she isn't showing interest and is going to flake. I suspect that the issue here is, right now you are likely presenting yourself to the women you try to date, in a way that repels them. If this is true then you're trying to parse out if any of them actually are game-able. But again, if this is true, then they won't be until you make an adjustment in yourself.

Is there a way I can be direct with her, without creeping her out to get to the bottom of it?

Asking her to hang out IS being direct. You're asking if there is some way to ask her if she's making excuses not to be with you or something like that. If you've reached a point where you have to ask that, then you already know the answer.

There is a BIG difference between a girl who wants to hang and one that doesn't. One that wants to hang out, will do half of the work. I suspect that the issue here is that you're pushing too much all the time, not allowing them the opportunity to put their own energy into it, and pushing them away as a result.

Or what big hints/red flags go up to indicate that she's not interested in the same manner I am? Should you go all out to find out and have full closure? Or is it a better idea to not know for sure, but still have some sorta dignity/self-respect.

You keep talking about not knowing what the red flags are. To sum up what I have been typing here...... there is basically one red flag. Whether or not she puts any energy into it. If she's not texting you and interacting with you at least some of the time, without you having to initiate all the time...... then you're pushing too much and/or she's not interested.

Sounds like you ought to focus less on looking for signs that things aren't working and focus more on paying attention directly to the girl. Could you give some details about your approach? How are you meeting girls? How do you get numbers? What does your number close look like? How do you decide when to number close? How do you determine when and how to ask a girl out?

TL;DR - What's your cue that the ~~bitch~~ girl ain't interested?

You gotta take care of yourself, man. If you're taking this shit personally, it'll continue to be a tough road for you. If she's not into it, it's not about her having attitude or being a bitch. It's just her showing that she doesn't fit your life. Which saves you time and energy, in the long run.

jonnyhaldane · 2015-04-17T15:04:06+00:00

When you're asking yourself if you should stop pursuing her.

Llleblanc1986 · 2015-04-17T23:35:50+00:00

When she stops texting you, to answer your title question

Pan0ptimist · 2015-04-17T15:46:02+00:00

If you call her and she does not call you back, it is time to move on.

derpderp3200 · 2015-04-17T13:21:56+00:00

A good measure is to see if you're a guy who'd consider calling a girl bitch because she's potentially not interested, though that's probably not the answer you're interested in. If she was interested she'd probably offer alternative dates or places rather than just refuse arrangements, so yeah, probably give up.

Title	How do you know when it's time to stop pursuing her?
Author	DullPencil
Upvotes	4
Comments	11
Date	April 17, 2015 1:14 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/32x458/how_do_you_know_when_its_time_to_stop_pursuing_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-know-when-its-time-to-stop-pursuing-her.1386830 https://theredarchive.com/post/1386830

Comments