How do you stop looking forward to the next relationship?

Peckerdick · 2015-09-06T18:41:11+00:00

You're right, it's not healthy. You need to have other shit going on in your life. Hobbies, goals, passions, etc. You should always be looking for ways to improve yourself and to get the things you want out of life.

Your #1 priority should ALWAYS be yourself. If you need intimacy with another person to feel good about yourself, then you need to work on your confidence and work on loving yourself more than anything else on earth.

Allthatdessert · 2015-09-06T20:33:18+00:00

Cognitive thinking.

Its all about the thoughts you have dictate the feelings you get, cognitive thinking helps you change the way you think.

I went to an all boys school and the "cool" kids all had girlfriends and you were deemed as a loser if you didn't have one. Yeah, it's fucked up thinking like that, but I was a teen and that sorta shit sticks with you and so I needed to "rewire" my brain so to speak.

After my last gf, I realized all the previous girlfriends ive had, I jumped into a relationship just because I was "lonely" or trying to fix that void of being "cool". This last girlfriend really opened my eyes into something that I actually want in a chick. I don't want someone who gives me the slightest attention to jump into a relationship with. I began to realize what I really wanted in a girlfriend.

Its been a few weeks since our breakup and i havent settled for anything less than what I want. I've friendzoned a few people and banged others.

Here's a video that helped me

https://youtu.be/IEsYiCDoJks

2015-09-07T00:30:13+00:00

I totally feel you. I'm a total intimacy craver myself and the hardest thing for me is learning to divorce my need for that from my need for romantic engagements.

I've learned that trying to just train myself off intimacy won't work. First, I had to figure out WHY I needed intimacy. Then, I trained myself to seek it in more productive ways. I became more vulnerable with my friends, hung out with them more, went out on fun excursions with them too. Or just chilled and played videogames. That fulfilled my need to feel like I could just vent to somebody.

On the other hand, I love physical intimacy. As a girl, I can get this platonically from my lady friends without being weird. I know this isn't the case for straight guys for the most part. Having FWBs helps a shit ton with this, and I find it better than one-night-stands, because your body is just going to feel vaguely bored and used the next day and it's not going to cure the root problem of physical intimacy, which is feeling safe and open with someone. It's so hard to do that with a stranger. On the other hand, if you're a cold bastard and can handle it, go out there and get laaaaaid!

Anyhow, best of luck. These times can suck, but they can also be the best, if you know what you want. :)

letsgetrandy · 2015-09-06T23:09:02+00:00

I'm gonna say something that will sound controversial, but here goes....

Just fuck more broads.

Every one you fuck makes you closer to understanding how inconsequential they are. And that's good for your mental health! You need to recognize how little your partner means to your own happiness.

reddiot666 · 2015-09-07T06:35:09+00:00

Try going on a bad date. Ask a girl out who's got some issues with men. You won't even know this woman but she will talk to you like every man on the planet is her audience. Then she will tear into you, a complete stranger, over years of problems she's had with other men. You'll realize maybe dating isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Title	How do you stop looking forward to the next relationship?
Author	DullPencil
Upvotes	43
Comments	16
Date	September 6, 2015 6:30 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3jvr7x/how_do_you_stop_looking_forward_to_the_next/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-stop-looking-forward-to-the-next.1393728 https://theredarchive.com/post/1393728

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