How long should a first date be?

failedvessel · 2019-10-01T13:27:17+00:00

I am improving. I observe a lot more stuff with the most recent one. She was very complimentary the whole time. and seemed to have a hard time letting me leave. but also at the end she said "not to be to forward, but what exactly are you looking for?" I answered honestly, which is I've been shy forever, I'm trying to meet people and learn how to date. Iwould love for a relationship to develop, but I'm not trying to force or rush anything. She reciprocated the same intentions and we agreed to meet again.

I guess, I'm a little confused by what seems like a high level of interest. She is beautiful. All of the rest of my dates have been looksmatches. She seems to be smart, funny, and has career goals. Def out of my league dating wise. I almost want to do her a favor by rejecting myself, since I know she can do much better... but that would be denying her agency, and I know I'm not as crap as I think I am..

shAmpere · 2019-10-01T13:37:49+00:00

Let her talk more, girls will get bored if they know everything about you. Be more interested in her life, be a good listener to her interests and focus your talk about those - you'll know what they are because her eyes will brighten up / her pupils will dilate and she will seem excited with ther body language. Don't be a bragger, it's easy to come across as fake. Also, the dates went well for you, since you had a good time, however, that does not mean that they went well for her and she had a good time. (Girls may seem like they did and tell you that they did but they may just be letting you down easy and putting on an act as usual - it's just how females are.)

If you're getting hangouts/friendzoned you aren't escalating enough and making your intentions clear. You gotta kino and escalate asap (hi fives, shoulder touches when you both laugh, break the touch barrier early), always assume attraction. It comes with practice... if you're not a touchy guy go for the safe areas. Be bold: until she says/implies "No", that means it's safe to proceed. The length of the date is fine as long as you're "progressing", and by that I mean the kino escalation reponses are positive and reciprocated by her body language/smiles/etc. and the girl is still in your presence, keeps changing venues and escalating, eventually to your/her place then sex.

If you feel that you're not progressing that much kino-wise but the interaction seems positive it might be time to end the date early, establishing some trust (within the first half-hour/hour and say you have something to do - this establishes that you value your time and scarcity (of you) drives the market, leaving her yearning for more) on a cliffhanger (something for her to look forward to) and set up the next date, then hug/kiss close. Text her the logistics (in a non-flirty way, just the facts) a day or two later to confirm and go from there. Also, have some self-esteem/confidence, never think that a girl is out of your league - you're brainwashing yourself for no reason.

SlyderKmK · 2019-10-01T13:46:56+00:00

The length of date doesnt matter, at all. Some of mine have lasted throughout the night...and into the next afternoon.

suredoes123 · 2019-10-01T14:55:26+00:00

I am busy, just like everyone else these days. That said, I don't want to 'waste' a bunch of time on a first date. I enjoy meeting people and for whatever reason happen to love first dates..so they happen regularly.

This drives me to make them on weeknights and keep them pretty short - an hour or two max. Save the long dates and weekends for woman who have already proven themselves, since IMO that time is far more valuable.

This will also leave them with questions about you since you didn't take the time to tell them your life story - this is important! Don't be a chatty Kathy, let her do the talking.

Also, Id skip the movie. Go for 'action' dates if you can, where the two of you are moving around and gives a good chance to touch her.

Lastly, cut that shit out about not being a catch. Work on that mindset, attitude, and actually change that fact about yourself first. It is far more important than dating.

Goodluck!

The-Cascadian · 2019-10-01T17:46:50+00:00

Depends what your intentions are, but mine typically go for an hour and a half before I ask them if they want to come over. I find it's a good amount of time for the girl to get comfortable enough with you on a first date to consider sleeping with you.

InscrutablePUA · 2019-10-01T18:28:10+00:00

No hard rule. If it's going well can easily become 3+ hours especially if you f close. But if it's not going well no more than 1 hr.

justme303332234455 · 2019-10-01T19:08:23+00:00

Depends, once I had a date from 9pm till 8 am starting with a movie and then we had some wine, we just sat, she talked most of the time about work and shit, I thought its not going well, tho it went all fine and she invited me to her place

Title	How long should a first date be?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	8
Date	October 1, 2019 1:12 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dbt70r/how_long_should_a_first_date_be/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-long-should-a-first-date-be.1480098 https://theredarchive.com/post/1480098

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