“The body never lies.”

-Martha Graham

Body language is a major factor in dating, in fact it’s important in other aspects of your life as well. Body language is real, and it is backed up many years of studies and researches. If you don’t believe me, look at academic papers and find out for yourself.

When communicating with people, or women, body language is a major part of communication, and it’s takes up about 50% to 65%. Tonality takes up about 35%, and words takes up about 7 to 10%.

Of course, the percentage is arbitrary here, but the point here is, mastering body language is important, especially when it comes to effective communication in dating.

Don’t let people know

It’s advised that you don’t let people know that you’re reading their body language or you know how to read it. Once they know, they’ll be very conscious of their actions, and you won’t be able to read them properly.

Women know better

Women instinctively know how to read men’s body language. That’s why many times women are known to have better intuition as compared to men.

Men are more oblivious towards such things, but if you learn this, learning how to master your own body language, and gaining the ability to read others’ body language, it will give you an edge over other men.

Personal space

Everyone has personal space, different cultures have different set of rules. When you need a girl, and you set into her personal space by accident, and she moves back, don’t try to close it immediately. It means she’s not comfortable with you yet.

• Don’t talk over her, unless you’re really tall. • If she’s seated, grab a chair and make yourself comfortable • If she’s standing, stand up and talk or tell her to sit down with you

Mind over body, body over mind

Our mind is a powerful tool, so use it. Think about positive stuff all the time, and your body posture will improve. Have positive and confident body language all the time, and your mind will be affect positively too.

Example

Straighten your back, chest out, shoulder pulled back a little, and smile. Then think about something sad, and try to feel sad. Well, you can’t do it, can you? It’s powerful, so use your mind and body positively to affect each other. You can improve very quickly.

So, always straighten your back, chest out, shoulder pulled back a little, and smile! You have no choice but to be happy! :D

For body language, we have a few things to discuss:

  1. Eyes
  2. Your face
  3. Hands
  4. Body postures
  5. Legs

All of them add up to making you or giving you a confident body language, which is paramount for first impression.

First impression takes a few seconds to happen, but takes forever and ever to change it. Master your body, and give great impression that shows that you’re a confident guy.

Eyes

Eyes are the windows to the soul (it’s a Chinese saying). It means that people can tell what’s going on inside you by looking at your eyes.

This is very true; and the Chinese already figured this out thousand years ago, when they made this saying. So, it is extremely important to master your eyes.

You need to learn how to have strong eye contact with people, it shows great deal of confidence as well as dominance (two important attractive traits).

When you look at people, women or not, look them right in the eyes. Don’t be scared, they’re humans as well. When you look at them, they’re probably thinking the same thing: “shit he’s looking at me, I’m scared”.

Don’t look away first, the women has to look away. Whoever looks the longest is the more dominating one. Staring incidents happen a lot and fights among men are started just because of staring.

So if you look at a guy for too long, and he asks you “what the hell are you looking at?”, just smile and say “sorry, I thought you’re an old friend of mine”.

Stare at women For women, when you’re looking at a woman, and you meet eye contact with her, again, never look away first. If you do, it shows that you’re less dominating than her. And it’s a huge turn off.

I know, this sounds retarded, but all these are backed by years of academic researches.

She has to be the one turning away • If she meets eye contact with you, and then looks away, she’s not interested. • If she meets eye contact with you, and then looks down, she’s interested.

However, lets face it, not every woman will be interested in you at first sight. Even she looks away instead of looking down, you should still approach and get her interested in you. Isn’t that the whole point of approaching in the first place?

If she looks down after making eye contact with you, you definitely need to approach her, assuming that you like her too.

This is important, screw it up, and the woman will see you as a pussy. Women already have a pussy between their legs, they don’t need another pussy around them. They want a man with confidence look them in the eyes.

Women might be offended if I stare at them

Women dress up nicely and for what? So that you won’t look at them? That obviously doesn’t make any sense. They dress up nicely is for you to look, seriously.

The masculine likes to watch, and the feminine like to be watched. Why do you think the make up industry is a billion dollar industry? And why do you think it mainly caters to women?

Example

There was one time I was out with my friends outside a mall, I met eye contact with a woman sitting down, I looked at her, and then we had eye contact. She smiled than looked down.

I stopped my friends and asked them to approach. One of them saw the girl looking at us, and he said “lets go, she’s looking at us.” (No idea what was the matter with him.)

I went over and talked and her, needless to say she’s was very interested in the interaction. Got her number and I left with my friends.

Training:

Go to a crowded place, and say hi to grab people’s attention. When they look at you, just look back until they break eye contact with you.

Do it on both genders. If a guy looks pissed and asks what the hell you are looking at, just smile and say that you thought he’s an old friend of you.

Always make the person break eye contact first.

Treat it as a game. Look at 100 people, and see how many eye contacts you can keep before the other person breaks it. If the person breaks it first, you win. If you break it first, you lose. Do this training until you’re confortable looking straight into people’s eyes.

Note:

When we look at people’s eyes, it’s impossible to look at both, so choose one eye to look at, or you can look at the nose bridge that is between the eyes. Avoid looking at one eye and then the other continuously; it is damn weird for the other person.

For you to find out how it feels like, ask your friend to look your eye alternatively (left eye and right eye, and then keep looking again).

Mouth (smiling)

A lot of people don’t smile anymore. Take a public transport, and you can see walking dead instead of living people. They don’t smile; they live their shitty life, and go to work that they don’t like. They just don’t look happy at all.

Seeing a person smiling at you is rare. So smile! Smile is a good way to connect with people and to start a conversation. Who the hell wants to talk to a person looks sad or angry? Smile breaks down barrier between strangers, and make connecting faster.

Additionally, you look way friendlier when you smile. So why not? As in, who wants to talk to someone who looks like he wants to kill someone? Definitely not me.

Plus, when you smile more, your mood becomes better, and you feel good about yourself for nothing. Try it, smile, and see if you can think about negative stuff. No you can’t.

A real and genuine smile: When you smile, your teeth should be shown, and your eyes should be winkled a little. A fake smile usually doesn’t have winkles around the eyes. Learn to have a genuine smile.

Training: 1. Look at the mirror and smile, practise your smiles and, see which one is the best.

  1. Go on the streets, say hi to people and just smile, and then walk away. If you want to talk, go ahead. Keep doing it until you’re comfortable smiling at strangers.

If they smile back, it’s a good sign that you’re doing it right. You can maintain this kind of smile and move on to next training.

Ask your friends:

Ask them if you have a nice smile. Tell them to be honest with you, and you have no problem hearing the truth. If they say you do, then it’s all good. If they say you don’t, then ask them how can improve your smile.

Eyebrows

You can do the eyebrow flash, which is moving up one of your eyebrows up and a quick matter. It’s the equivalent of a single eye wink. ;)

It takes a lot of confidence to do this, and it shows a lot of sexuality. Do it and watch the reactions of women. It’s fun! I used to frown a lot, it just the way I was, and people always think that I was angry. Actually I was just thinking about stuff. Of course, I was thinking about negative stuff which made me frustrated.

So in a way, when you frown, you’re angry or pissed at something. And this really shows that your body language reveals what you’re thinking or feeling inside. That’s why important to be able to control you body properly.

So if you’re person who’s always frowning subconsciously, like me, then you need to stop. One thing you can do is tell the people around you, whenever you frown (or doing a bad habit), to inform you about it. So that you can are conscious about it. Once you’re conscious about it, you can change it more easily.

Training:

Use the mirror and check out if you’re doing the eyebrow flash correctly. It should a quick moving of your eyebrow up and down, that’s it.

Arms and hands

Sometimes when people talk, they have no idea where to put their arms or hands. Just put it at the side of your body. If you’re talking, use hand gestures to emphasize a point.

Check out this video and other videos in Youtube on hand gestures or toastmasters club speeches:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAz-grHMhTE

You can use one hand inside your pocket (it looks cool), but usually hiding your hands by putting them in the pocket means that you’re hiding something.

So it might be better to just put it at the side. You can always raise one of your hands 90 degrees from your bicep to show that you’re comfortable.

Holding things

When you’re holding things, say a drink in a party, hold it at the side of your body. Don’t hold it in front of your body as if you’re using your drink to block something. It is similar to crossing your arms to protect yourself. Also don’t cross the centerline of your body.

The centerline is the line that splits your body equally.

Handshake

You can do a firm handshake like you’re in a business setting, you can do a gentleman handshake where your palm is facing up, and she puts her hand on yours and then you give it a kiss. You can do that if you’re in a culture where it’s commonly done, like in the western countries. For Asian countries, you can do other two.

You can do a fist bump, which is more fun than just a handshake. You can also do a high five, which is also informal and fun to do. If they ask why, say “cos it’s fun” and then smile at her and wait for her to high five or fist bump you. Don’t be scared, if you stutter, then it doesn’t really show that it’s fun, right?

Avoid doing these:

Putting both hands in pocket (side or bad) – looks like you’re hiding something.

Crossing your arms (if you feel cold it’s okay, but avoid it for the most part) – looks like you’re on the defence and you’re protecting yourself from harm. There’s no harm in talking to women, so stop crossing your arms.

Putting your hands behind – looks like you’re hiding something.

Putting your hands at your wrists – looks like you want to fight someone, highly hostile posture.

Scratching or playing with your hands or fingers – its show nervousness

Covering your mouth when you talk – seems like you’re hiding something

Chest Your chest is probably the second thing the women look at when you approach them. They will see your face first, and then look down, so chest is second.

The confident body posture will be straightening your back, having your chest out, and pulling back your shoulder a little. This posture shows a lot of confidence and masculinity from you. Women love it. This is the probably the most important thing to do after strong eye contact.

Whether you’re standing up or sitting down, do the same. So you will get used to this. This will posture will also help you in your project of your voice, which is also important.

Avoid: Covering your chest with your hands and arms or with any object and slouching.

Legs When you’re standing, instead of standing on two legs, stand on one leg. It allows you to turn from one side to another more easily.

Also, it looks like you’re more comfortable in the environment than a person who’s standing on two legs. And, it’s actually more comfortable to stand on one leg. When you’re sitting down, make yourself comfortable. Take up enough space to be comfortable.

If you like to cross your leg like me, then you can put your ankle on the other leg’s thigh. Don’t cross your legs like a woman whereby your balls are squashed. If you don’t cross your legs, then just open it wide enough, say about 45 to 60 degree that is formed by your legs.

Avoid doing these Shaking your legs – shows that you’re nervous as this is another form of fidgeting. I also do this all the time, but I avoid doing when I’m with people. This is also quite annoying to many people. So avoid it altogether if you can.

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