How to better develop conversation in the first interactions?

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-05-29T16:49:05+00:00

Stay in the present. Don't think several moves ahead like you're playing chess. Stop that. Be a good active listener. If you notice her enthusiasm changes with certain topics, act accordingly. Don't bore her with mundane talk about the weather and don't go on long monologues.

For example, when you notice a topic that interests her, have her expand on it or simply repeat the main idea back; good journalists do this a lot. But try to stay in the moment and be a curious mind. Less game, more conversation.

KustardKing · 2025-05-29T17:07:43+00:00

Have a few good questions and listen to them. They will tell you what they want to talk about.

“I went to university in Sydney and studied marketing. “

“I worked in marketing, what appealed to you about marketing?” Or “I love the city of Sydney, what did you think of the opera house”… etc

Show you’re listening by acknowledging, refer to key words/topics/subjects for key and ask what or why.

epimpstyle · 2025-05-29T20:01:29+00:00

Sometimes, when I meet, I run out of things to talk about, with that silence

You need a Plan B and use routines /gambits, but also a Plan C, which focuses on props.

- Plan B - is about telling interesting or funny stories that you will insert them naturally into the conversation. For example: "Did you say you're from XYZ-city? No way! I have a friend who told a hilarious story about when he went there... [insert a funny story here]."

Another idea: "Do you see that guy/car/house over there? It reminds me of... [insert another funny/interesting story]."

- Plan C - is about to have a bracelet /necklace, or even paint your pinky nail black. When a moment of silence appear, simply show her your bracelet/necklace and say, "See this? I bought it from XYZ... and... [insert a funny story here].' If another moment of silence appears, just extend your hand, point to your pinky, and tell her about your black nail. This will instantly spark a conversation about horror movies, music, vampires, rock, cosmetics.... You could even tell a story about painting your nail to play with your niece or your neighbor's/a friend of yours little daughter (this is a DHV).

Only these 4 things will give you enough material to talk with a girl for about 5-10 minutes, you just need to learn funny/interesting stories - simple as that!

Either_Sundae6099 · 2025-05-29T17:42:56+00:00

Stay present, focus on the person you are talking to, not the shit in your head.

Be genuinely curious about the person you are speaking to. You will be speaking to another person, with their own history, interests, and personality. How is that not something to talk about.

Also make gentle jokes and tease them.

Its not about you, its about them.

NOTE: If its a topic that consists of facts, data, numbers and could be put on a spreadsheet, do not talk about it. Keep it emotional, not factual.

NOTE 2: Once you have gotten better at this (like most skills in life, talking to a person takes practice), try matching their emotional energy, then gently leading them to a better emotional place. Men lead, women follow.

Chicagoj1563 · 2025-05-29T18:55:24+00:00

The reason you run out of things to say is because you’re worried about saying the wrong thing, or you don’t want to take the risk, your worried about being judged, etc…

Having things to say isn’t the issue. The issue is you are reluctant to speaking without filters. At least in these situations.

Practice filling in the space with whatever comes to mind. You can improve as you practice more. But talking without filter is your problem. You’re not doing it right now. It’s a social skill you can develop.

It’s not about lines you know or questions you can ask. It’s about having fun and saying whatever is spontaneous.

And in a few minutes the girl will help fill in the rest after the conversation hooks.

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-05-30T03:21:35+00:00

You tease, you poke fun at them, your povoke them, you accuse them of things, you mess with them like a bratty little sister that you don't take seriously and want to get a little bit mad just for fun, you make fun of them lightheartedly, you push them away in lighthearted ways before pulling them back in when the tension is high.

You don't respond with logic or objectivity to women's questions as that's predictable and neutraizes tension. You respond with subjectivity, exagerations, provocations, and an "i don't give a fuck how you take my answer" vibe.

When your vibe says “I’m not here to convince you, I’m here to enjoy myself by making the atmosphere playful and tense" that's when you begin to seduce women, instead of being boring.

More_Parking_4578 · 2025-05-29T16:52:47+00:00

It's not about you. Ask questions, then ask follow up questions. The most likeable thing about someone is their level of interest in you so ask your crush questions and give compliments and learn all about them. Where they grew up, what they do for a living, what their hobbies are, where their dream vacation would be, what foods they dislike and what foods they crave. There are a million questions that you can ask and a trillion follow up questions. It's not hard. Then just listen and remember.

jackthehat6 · 2025-05-29T18:56:09+00:00

i tend to think the silences and the 'running out of things to say' thing is usually just a sign that she's not into you it's best to move on (talking about a cold approach here. Not a date)

I kind of discovered this when I used to game with a really handsome wing, and the issue of 'running out of things to say' was just never a thing for him, because she was the one who was filling in gaps, taking up conversational slack, asking questions, elaborating on things etc

If it feels like you are pulling teeth it's best to approach another girl is is hopefully into you/attracted (and thus convo will flow naturally)

prictorian · 2025-05-29T21:45:21+00:00

Look for Dan Bacon on YouTube, he gives a lot of good info about this.

Conscious_Nobody9571 · 2025-05-30T20:23:25+00:00

Ask open ended questions:

"What do you do in your free time?"

"Are you for or against online dating?"

"You think women should approach men they're interested in?"

"I've been watching X... what's your Favorite singer movie tv show etc..."

Title	How to better develop conversation in the first interactions?
Author	moyth
Upvotes	17
Comments	19
Date	May 29, 2025 4:46 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1kyfocy/how_to_better_develop_conversation_in_the_first/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-better-develop-conversation-in-the-first.1553418 https://theredarchive.com/post/1553418

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