How to create a meaningful relationship and make yourself scarce to the other part at the same time?

EternalSeeker8400 · 2021-06-02T19:22:43+00:00

Simple. Make an effort to connect, but also have your own life, other interests, responsibilities, etc. Let her know (show, don’t tell) that although you are interested in exploring a relationship with her, you are fitting her into the rest of your life and not making your life revolve around her.

In my experience, this only works if genuine. Insincere scarcity is easy to detect. So get a hobby, a group you regularly go out with, a cause you are involved in, something. This will also help with any self-esteem issues or insecurities you have because your life actually will be fuller and more meaningful. And it makes you more attractive because you are already a complete person, whether she is in your life or not.

That said, also carve out specific time for the other person with no other distractions, so when you are together you can meaningfully connect and she has your complete attention.

The key is to find balance between being with her and pursuing your other interests. If you have other commitments when she wants to get together, let her know, and suggest an alternative. That way she knows you care about her and want to spend time with her, and that your life does not revolve around her. The only exception I would make is if she has a legitimate urgent need that you can help with. It’s okay to drop everything to help out if the need is real and immediate.

kickit256 · 2021-06-02T18:42:41+00:00

So you're belief is that artificial scarcity promotes a relationship? I've always found the opposite; that the more time it spend with someone, the closer I get. Maybe I'm the odd ball on this?

loofyd · 2021-06-02T18:00:14+00:00

Good question, good context

I would like to know too

ThrowRA-bonsai · 2021-06-05T05:56:55+00:00

You aren't a rare earth metal. Scarcity does not increase your value. It just makes you more interesting (and, paradoxically, less attractive). There are other ways to make yourself more interesting and more attractive at the same time:

Diversify your hobbies and interests. Read more books, listen to more music, watch more movies, learn how to make art, learn how to fix things, become skilled in some form of physical activity (biking, kayaking, climbing, sports, etc.). Start trying new things ALL THE TIME. Don't like theater? Too bad, you're going to a play. Never learned how to dance? Go do it. Can't cook? Learn. Do not make excuses. You do have time to do all of these things, and you will enjoy doing them.

You know those beer commercials with "The Most Interesting Man in The World"? He isn't interesting because he's scarce. He's interesting because he's everywhere.

2021-06-02T22:22:42+00:00

You probably don’t want what you think you want. You’d have to be committed at a level where nothing else matters. Just find a normal relationship with a normal person. Not many extraordinary people can find extraordinary people.

miggysaurus-13 · 2021-06-03T13:15:22+00:00

Talk to lots of girl . That why you won’t have that scare mindset

Title	How to create a meaningful relationship and make yourself scarce to the other part at the same time?
Author	danielbc93
Upvotes	27
Comments	15
Date	June 2, 2021 5:22 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/nqr3g3/how_to_create_a_meaningful_relationship_and_make/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-create-a-meaningful-relationship-and-make.1283332 https://theredarchive.com/post/1283332

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