How to deal with a maybe

Practical-Macaroon38 · 2024-10-28T14:55:44+00:00

When it comes to setting up follow-up dates, it’s best to be direct but also allow the girl a little bit of flexibility to choose which days works better. This will also allow you to see if she’s serious about seeing you or if you’re wasting your time & should probably move on.

One mistake would be to put the ball entirely in her court by saying something like, “Lmk when you’re free & when & where you wanna hangout”.

This can work if a girl really likes you.. but oftentimes it rarely works. It can come off that you’re chasing her by waiting around for when she’s free, while also needing her to plan out everything. It lacks direction & also shows that you’re not a busy man that values his time.

Another mistake would be to plan something that’s way too strict without first getting a hint on which days/times work best for her too.

So saying, “Hey, I’m free Thursday at 4pm, let’s do that” is a lot more direct & works better than the last option, but it can still lead to an, “Ok I’ll let you know” or “I’ll see if I have that day off”.

If it’s the ladder, then there’s an honest chance that she might be busy but if it’s the former then majority of the time I wouldn’t hold your breathe to any “I’ll let you know” messages.

My approach is this.

I’ll first hint of a date such as, “We should play each other in pool this week to see if you’re as competitive as you say you are ;)” then I’ll gauge her level of interest to that idea.

If she ignores that completely or replies with something like, “I’m busy this whole week, I’ll lyk another time”, then forget it. I’ll rarely ever follow up again because it’s most likely a no.

If she replies with, “Yeah I’m down sometime” or “I’m pretty busy so depends when”, then that’s a little bit better. They could be entirely lying & just doing a soft ghost on you but I give them a benefit of doubt, once.

After that, I follow up with, “What’s your schedule like the next couple of days?” or “What’s your schedule like this week? I’ll have to work it into mine”.

It doesn’t need to be that exact wording but this will help with two things.

By asking for her schedule, she can be upfront & honest about which days she actually has off. If she sends you her calendar or an actual schedule then great, work with that. But, if she’s being incredible vague about not knowing when she’s ever free then forget about it.

This also helps because it shows that you value your time too & aren’t going to be playing any games.

If she gives me actual times or days that work for her, then I’ll simply pick 1 & see what she says.

So if she said, “M-F I’m off after 4pm but Saturday I have a family dinner & then I’m seeing friends, so can’t then”.. then I’d follow it up with, “Ok I can only do Wednesday or Friday after 5. Pick 1 & let’s do 6pm at ____”.

If she replies with, “Friday works & sounds good” or something like that then congrats & you have another date.

But, if she just gave me her schedule.. I suggest 2 separate days for her & she still replies with… “I’ll let you know” or “Oh wait I have dog sitting on Wednesday & I forgot that Friday I’m seeing a friend” then forget about it.

That can usually tell you that her level of interest in you is pretty low.

I found this to be true 95% of the time whenever I get responses like this. Think about it.. you’re 1 simple step away from planning out a date & suddenly they’re “too busy” to see you or “forgot” that they can’t on the days when you’re free.

I’ve had rare instances where a girl is truthfully busy & will follow that up with, “I’m so sorry but I’d be able to on Sunday after 5 if that works?”

Her following it up with an alternative date is a good thing but just be prepared for them to potentially flake. I’ll still plan the date but I usually don’t hold my breath for them.

So, if Sunday comes around & she’s “suddenly too busy” again then drop it. It’s basically 2 or 3 strikes at this point. Don’t message her again & just forget about it completely.

Western-Month-3877 · 2024-10-28T12:11:42+00:00

My general rule is always give people benefit of the doubt, that they’re honest, that they’re also wanting to meet. Until proven otherwise.

But take into consideration don’t take all the dating things personally until you become exclusive, to prevent you from getting disappointed or bitter, either toward the dating game or toward women in general.

Offer to pick her up if her reason is car trouble. Or just hang out within walking distance from her place (walk in the park, a theater, a brunch, a casual dinner etc). If she’s still shy away then probably not (just) a car trouble and time for you to move on.
This one sounds gold.

LucaCoco_ · 2024-10-28T17:26:47+00:00

I don't know, Man. It really feels like you push her to give you concrete answer that she will commit to and you do it in logical way with no emotional spike.

rrlzsrnc · 2024-10-28T19:28:05+00:00

I got a woman's number. She put her name in my phone with three exclamation points. and she's been keen to date ever since. I'm waiting still for the shoe to drop. This is not normal for me but it should be.

I hate the maybe types. To me maybe is no. TO me sure is practically know, unless I know she won't flake. Women are supposed to be excited. I don't know what wires them up to be attracted to one type versus another. These are deeply individual things that I haven't cracked yet. I don't know female will and female intention but it is a very important subject. Find someone whose will aligns with your own

Blitted_Master · 2024-10-28T21:40:01+00:00

Didn’t read anything but the title. Maybe = no. Focus on other women

norwegiandoggo · 2024-10-28T12:17:53+00:00

Let the women choose the time you meet and you will reduce the "maybe" replies by half over night.

You got to get them invested in the plan. You do that by asking them for their input on the plan.

It's very simple. Imagine you're the CEO of a company. You tell all employees you're going to do a big company change. They probably will make life difficult for you and drag their feet complaining.

But if you spend about two weeks asking all the employees for input on what needs to be changed, and then you propose the exact same company change as before. They will support you and go along with it. Because they felt heard. They felt like you cared about their opinion. And they got invested in the process. Even if the plan is identical, you now have motivated and more enthuastic employees willing to try your plan.

Receiving a "maybe" is a sign you may have fucked it up before. Instead of trying to fix a bad situation, it's best to never get into that bad situation in the first place.

Title	How to deal with a maybe
Author	TestaverdeRules
Upvotes	4
Comments	8
Date	October 28, 2024 11:35 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1gdzt19/how_to_deal_with_a_maybe/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-deal-with-a-maybe.1534357 https://theredarchive.com/post/1534357

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