“A really intelligent man feels what other men only know.” – Baron de Montesquieu.

In high school, I had an overwhelming desire to know everything about attracting women.

I bought every video course I could find about seduction. I spent hours per day learning about pickup.

Embarrassingly, I spent hours imagining having entire conversations with girls.

I tried to think of everything the girl might say, and I came up with responses that I memorized.

Did I approach any women or ask them on dates?

No.

It was imperative that I learned everything about game first.

I fell into a trap called analysis paralysis.

I was so consumed with the idea of knowing everything about pickup that I didn’t take any action.

My logic went like this: if I tried to approach women, I’d fail unless I learned everything about seduction first.

Sadly, I wasn’t alone. Analysis paralysis is extremely common among men learning about pickup.

Most men who learn about game go through a phase of learning without taking action.

If this describes you, you’re currently an over-analyzer.

You will be stuck on the treadmill of analysis paralysis until you understand why you’re using learning as an excuse to procrastinate.

It is possible to spend years stuck in this phase without getting any tangible results with women.

Escaping The Trap

The over-analyzer watches videos about how to pickup girls, but he doesn’t take actions that could lead him to get the success with women he wants.

He thinks that if he were to approach a girl or ask his crush on a date, it would most likely lead to humiliating rejection.

In a sense, he’s right.

It’s true that if he were to approach a woman, it would most likely lead to rejection.

But he’s wrong in thinking that if he learns about pickup online, he can avoid getting rejected and skip right to the good stuff.

At least 90% of men who know about the pickup community are perpetually stuck in the over-analyzer stage.

It’s not because these men are weak; it’s because they are too smart for their own good.

The over-analyzer thinks consuming online content is a shortcut to success.

Instead of learning pickup through approaching women, he learns by watching videos and buying online products.

On the surface, this is a brilliant strategy.

Why go through an initial painful period where most of your approaches would be awkward and unsuccessful?

But that logic is based on the fallacy that intellectually understanding something is the same as practically understanding it.

Truthfully, intellectual understanding and practical understanding are two completely different animals.

Mastering one has almost nothing to do with mastering the other.

Pickup content only has two effective uses:

  • Orienting your mindset towards action-taking.
  • Helping you overcome your sticking points.

The purpose of this article is the first: it’s designed to dissolve your excuses and make it clear that action-taking is the only real option if you want success with women.

In case you’re unfamiliar with the term, a sticking point is the main thing that’s holding you back from getting results.

For instance, if women consistently “friend-zone” you, your sticking point is making your interactions sexual rather than platonic.

Similarly, if you get nervous whenever you want to approach a girl and make excuses to avoid talking to her, your sticking point is approach anxiety.

I have written articles and made videos that will guide you through overcoming every major sticking point that men have.

There's content that will teach you how to create sexual tension, how to physically escalate, and how to bring a woman you just met home with you.

But those articles and videos are only helpful if you’re going out, meeting women, and finding out what your weaknesses are.

Once you’re taking action, you can use the strategies contained in this book to overcome all the weak points in your game.

However, if you read an article or watch a video that explains how to reach the sexual hook point, but you haven’t met a new woman in the last month, you’re not learning pickup; you’re procrastinating.

You might be thinking, “That’s true for a lot of people, but I have a genuine reason not to take action (I need to focus on college/ I live in a small town of only 100,000/I’m overweight and need to lose the extra pounds first, etc., etc.)

There are no exceptions. As soon as you tell yourself that in your situation, you don’t need to take action—you’ve shot yourself in the foot.

We all have excuses, many of which are partially valid.

I didn’t kiss a single girl throughout high school. At one point, my crush literally laughed in my face and told me that I wasn’t really a man.

Then, at the age of 18, I was diagnosed with panic disorder.

The first time I tried to approach girls at the mall, my anxiety was so intense that I became lightheaded, dizzy, and felt like I couldn’t breathe.

I genuinely thought I was having a heart attack, and I rushed to an urgent care.

Despite all that, I eventually overcame my anxieties and insecurities.

I’ve seen countless other instances of men disproving their excuses in real-time.

As soon as you believe you can’t succeed, you’re right.

Belief creates a self-fulfilling prophecy: if you think pickup is impossible for you, you won’t take action, and then you will prove your negative beliefs true.

How to Get Out of the Over-Analyzer Phase

“Life beings at the end of your comfort zone” – Neale Donald Walsch

We overanalyze because although we do want a better dating life, we don’t want to experience the negative emotions that come with approaching women.

Getting out of the over-analyzer phase starts with accepting that it is impossible to date beautiful women without experiencing some negative emotions.

No product, no video, no piece of content will be able to help you get the results you want without going through emotional turmoil, period.

In fact, trying to avoid negative emotions is the root of the problem.

The human brain is designed to seek pleasure and avoid pain.

We constantly search for ways to avoid discomfort.

This is why the most effective marketing campaigns are based on making success seem easy. We are flooded with advertisements that promise you can:

  • Get abs in just 7 minutes a day.
  • Make six figures in less than six months.
  • Get beautiful women to approach you and seduce you (without risking rejection).

Advertisements like the above are so common because they prey on the human brain’s desire to avoid pain.

How do you outsmart this universal human bias for avoiding pain?

The solution rests in accepting a harsh truth: once you know that the promise of six-minute abs is nothing but a marketing ploy, you won’t be fooled by it.

Similarly, once you understand that you can’t get good with girls simply by consuming content, you won’t fall into the over-analyzer trap.

As soon as you truly accept that you can only get better with women by putting yourself out there and experiencing rejection, you’ll stop procrastinating and start taking action.

So, the first step to succeeding with women is accepting that facing rejection is the only way to get success.

The next step is to create a plan of action.

Most over-analyzers have a lot of approach anxiety (I certainly did).

The only way to overcome this is to start going out regularly. For this to work, you must make it a habit.

Decide how many times per week you’re willing to go out to meet women.

I recommend you commit to at least three times a week. That’s enough to get good results, but it’s not so much that you risk burning out.

Make sure to keep track of your progress.

I keep track of my goal to go out three times a week using Google Calendar.

You can also do this with a goal-tracking app or even a simple word document (the advantage to an app is that it can give you notification reminders).

Over time, you should increase or decrease your weekly goal based on the results you’re getting.

But in general, it’s extremely valuable to set a baseline for how often you want to go out.

If you don’t have a goal, it’s much easier to rationalize and procrastinate. I.E., “I’ll go out next week,” or “I’m not feeling it today.”

Try this right now. Either:

  • Go to your preferred calendar app and set up reminders to go out x times this week (add a specific time of day to start so there’s no room for procrastination).
  • Use Microsoft Word to create a journal to keep track of your goal (set it up however works best for you)
  • Download a goal tracking app and set up a repeating notification on it. (just search the term habit tracker on your phone’s app store).

Setting a goal like this makes your commitment real.

It’s no longer something you’re thinking about maybe doing some time in the future; you’ve decided to take specific actions.

This gives you a lot more leverage to follow through instead of procrastinating.

Once you’ve made a habit of going out using this system, you can add to it.

For example, you can make a goal to ask at least one girl for her number every time you go out.

But take it one step at a time.

If you don’t approach women regularly, setting a goal to go out is already a big step.

Discipline is the key to making a real change here.

You may not even approach a woman the first time you go out.

That’s okay. If you haven’t approached any women recently, overcoming your initial approach anxiety may take some time.

Just keep going out, and eventually, your frustration with the fact that you haven’t approached will make you think, “Fuck this,” and you’ll overcome the anxiety.

This might happen on the first day; it might take three weeks. It’s different for everyone.

Don’t give up if you experience a lot of anxiety or don’t make much progress the first time you go out.

Trust that if you keep putting yourself out there, you’ll start taking action and make a change.

There are tools you can use to grease the wheels of this process. One is finding wingmen to go out with. When you’re around other guys who are approaching women, it’s easier to do so yourself.

The best way to find wings is to go to bars or clubs, and whenever you see a group of guys that are approaching girls—introduce yourself and ask if they’d be down to do an approach with you.

This might sound too easy, but it works. I’ve met several great wingmen that way.

You can also join your local pickup group: https://www.gameglobal.net/groups/ (the groups have a bit too much spam but they can still be very helpful for finding wings).

It may take several weeks of going out and making excuses before you finally reach the point where you get fed up and finally do your first approach.

But once you’ve done so, every subsequent approach will be far easier than the last.

Eventually, you’ll reach a point where you look forward to approaching girls.

Once that happens, picking up women will become effortless and fun.

Just remember: reaching that point takes discipline and patience. There is an initial pain period you must accept when working on improving any area of your life, dating included.

The alternative is to remain stuck in the over-analyzer phase and fantasize about how you could start dating beautiful women, without taking any action to make that happen.

Approaching girls will require you to experience temporary stress, but it will improve the rest of your life, and you’ll end up having a dating life filled with options.

Procrastinating will allow you to avoid that immediate stress, but you’ll always wonder what might have happened if you had taken action.

Then, you’ll most likely have to settle for a woman who isn’t a great match for you because you didn’t have a choice—she was the only girl you could get.

I spent five years in the over-analyzer phase.

Each year my frustration grew worse. I thought about all the opportunities to meet beautiful women that I missed because I was addicted to my excuses.

You can avoid making the same mistake.

Don’t be a theory junky; learn through experience. That is the only path to success.