How to improve

ProfessionalGoat551 · 2026-02-15T23:35:49+00:00

Never use alcohol as a means to garner courage to talk to women. You can’t always be drunk.

Also. Just start small. Just talk to women, but don’t talk with the hope of getting a number (build up to it) just stop them ask for directions and slowly build up. Then compliment them as you depart. Get use to actually having SOBER interactions with women.

Budget-Kick822 · 2026-02-16T05:31:53+00:00

Break down your process and focus on parts of your process instead of results. Take a minute to reflect on what went well and what went poorly after each approach.

headstone-headcase · 2026-02-16T20:06:01+00:00

Some days you're feeling yourself some days you're not. 🤷‍♂️ I try not to let it feel anymore complicated than that. There's been nights when I was too chickenshit to walk into a place, or even leave my apartment, but I also have times when my courage seems endless and it's like I can't miss. I'm mercurial, it's part of my charm. 😂

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2026-02-17T19:49:20+00:00

I worked on this a few years ago in my mid 20s. I was really bad with women. I had the foundation, just not the cofnidence or even the know how.

I think most men have the foundation, some make excuses (I did plenty), some have little to no confidnece and most have a mix of both.

So few things that helped me:

- First change what you can now. This may not apply to you, but put more effort in how you look, dress, etc. For me i dressed like i was still in HS at age 23. I got the same buzz cut i got for years, clean shaven, wore nerdy old glasses, never wore cologne, etc. I had female friends my age who took an interest in helping me dress better. They told me a few things, dress in darker clothign because i look good in it, wear more hats, get buzzcuts, grow your beard and wear cooler glasses. And i started wearing more cologne (this is a big one). Understand that looks do help but it is not the #1 thing to getting a woman to like you. Women will not kiss your feet because you look a little better. But what i have found is, the better you look the less personality you need. It's also a good first impression. 1st impression matters and if you look like a bum or like you dont care, women will have already made it clear they wont see you that way and it's hard to come back from that.

- Second, practice social skills in general. Something i found and i still find in men that struggle with women si that the problem is not rooted in their struggles iwth women, it's their struggles with strangers (even men). FOr me i was social with friends but quiet with strangers. So i started putting myself in situations to talk to new poeople. Meetup events, networking events, even dating events (ill link a few at the bottom). Things that got me in a room full of people where wlaking up to someone and saying hi was expected.

- Learn how to have a conversation and expect nothing in return. Again a bit of piggybacking on previous point. But the best way to get a woman is to be able to talk to one without expecting anything in return. SOmethign i saw was that when i met a cute girl, i felt like i had to lead it to a nubmer, or getting laid, etc. So in my head id be thinking "omg how can i wow her" instead of just enjoying the conversation. Because if you go in with "i have to get her number" you will come off as desperate maybe avoid angering her, etc. You wont make her mad but you wont "wow" her because you will try to force the conversation that way. So for me i practiced that with men first and then transitioned that into women. If i saw a guy in a baseball cap (im into baseball), let's say the cubs, id go up to him and be like "nice cubs hat. tough year they had last year". Sometimes the person is very reserved and clearly doesnt want to be talked to so if they just say "yeah" i say "hopefully they can pick it up next year" and just walk away. But if they seem open and start talking then ill get in a 3-5 minute conversation with them, shoot the shit, etc. I wont even ask for his number or naything. Again it's to get used to the idea of just talking with someone and not expecting anything. If i think the conversation went very well, ill exchange numbers. Same goes for women, if you see they just smirk and dont say much say something quick and walk away. If they seem open, keep chatting.

- Go out for your own enjoyment. If you go out for numbers and dont get them, you will just get sad and depressed. It's rough out there even for the men who are good at it. The guy you think pulls a lot is probably only getting with like 5% of the women he flirts with, he's just flirting a lot more than you are. But when you can go out for your own enjoyment, not care aboutgetting the woman but also make part of that fun talking to new people, you have way more fun and women see that and cling on.

- Understand that women go out for fun, men go out ot get laid. It's a transaction so if you want to get laid, you have to be willing to give women a fun night out. One thing i did and see in many men is that a woman talks to them for 5 minutes and they immediately try ot lead it to sex or a number. That woman is there for a fun night out and she probably just go tthere. You gotta give her a nuigth of laughter, dancing, etc.

- Dont put women on pedestals off the bat. Dont be afraid to be yourself and even offend. When i started to do this, i did way better with women. Im not saying be an AH. But for me im witty and funny. So i decide to be that even iwth women. In a weird way when you treat women like bros they love that shit. Because their whole lives they are treated like glass vases, so when a guy doesnt do that they love it.

- If you see a group of women, dont go for the one you like the most, entertain the whole group and if you get in let them decide who likes you best. This is another big problem i see in men. They see a group of 6 girls, 5 are 7-8s but one is a 10. They go for the 10 immediately, ignore the other women then get rejected by the 10. The problem with that is you just told the other 5 women that they are not attractive enough for your attention. You told any woman in that vicinity the same thign. Nobody wants to be second fiddle. Instead what i do now is, ill entertain the group. Obviously i hope the 10 likes me and i can get with, but beggers can't be choosers. So i entertian the group, odds are if you canentertain the group theyll let you join and then oen woman at a certain point will try to get closer and closer to you.

Title	How to improve
Author	Dirtyeggroll92
Upvotes	2
Comments	5
Date	February 15, 2026 11:19 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1r5tbg4/how_to_improve/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-improve.1573568 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573568

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