How to practice getting comfortable with talking to strangers?

articwolf8 · 2017-06-21T18:13:06+00:00

Don't give a fuck what people think. I know it's easier said then done, but start implementing that mindset. Always remember that trying and failing is better than not trying at all. The only way to get better is to fail at first.

bergkampinthesheets · 2017-06-21T18:21:29+00:00

remember that they are humans too. They will pick up your discomfort. Some things you could try:

Start talking with a purpose. E.g- with this person I want to see how long I can small talk, with this person I want to try saying whatever comes to my mind instinctively etc. Make it a game.
Imagine that they just finished pooping, and tried to hide their fart in public right before they met you.
As soon as a stranger starts talking to me without any context I immediately think what does this person want? Your fear makes them even more nervous. Even if you don't tell them, as long as you seem to know what you're doing, everyone will give you a few minutes of benefit of doubt. So if you're fearful, you gotta fake being a cool guy for at least the first 2 minutes.
You need to find out what exactly is causing the fear? is it that they will not bother to listen to you? is it that they will not be interested? is it that you don't know what to say? If you pin point specifically what makes you anxious, it will be easier to fix that. You mention in the OP that "you have no idea what to talk about", so just for starters, why don't you think of things that is of interest to both you and them, and which you are genuinely excited and knowledgeable about?
Are you smiling genuinely and greeting people warmly when you start a conversation? if you're able to do that, you've won half the battle.
When you're talking to someone, there may be a 100 things in their day or week that makes them react in a certain way. Its not about you, so don't take this so personally.
Try to do mindful meditation for 2 minutes, or at least take 3 slow deep breaths before approaching every stranger.

DirkDieGurke · 2017-06-21T18:25:21+00:00

Baby step it. Being more talkative to cashiers, waitresses, etc helps with practice. Just don't start asking for their numbers or PUA stuff.

SeinoMore · 2017-06-22T02:18:27+00:00

Ask open ended questions..

The thing is, the more you talk to people, the more people will positively respond to you. The reason for this is that people like to talk to confident people and if you practice you'll get confident.

Look for people less confident than you and talk to them as you are already at an advantage. Sometimes people are waiting to talk to you but like you are too scared to make the first move.

Also if you wait too long it starts to get creepy. Imagine a celebrity coming into a room. He'd walk around greeting everyone. He can do this because he has the upper hand in terms of confidence. If someone suddenly starts talking after they have come into a situation it is a bit weird. c.f. the three second rule. So pretend you are a celebrity and just say hello and "how are you doing?" followed by an open ended question.

Title	How to practice getting comfortable with talking to strangers?
Author	Procastinator9000
Upvotes	5
Comments	5
Date	June 21, 2017 5:55 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6inj3c/how_to_practice_getting_comfortable_with_talking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-practice-getting-comfortable-with-talking.1290165 https://theredarchive.com/post/1290165

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