How to stop obsessing about my past interactions and what I perceive to be failures?

Evacipate628 · 2021-08-30T02:18:49+00:00

I think the easiest way is to constantly flip things around. Imagine if the paradigm was reversed and it was females that were always "hitting on" men. They certainly can and do at times with the way things are but just imagine the standard is completely the other way around.

Would you want the female that's a good or even perfect match for you spending her time and mental resources "obsessing" about such things? Trying to trick you? Trying to be something she's not?

Or would you want her to be calm and confident in both her successes and failures? To use her resources to be a happy person and to show you a good time? To offer something of value with nothing expected in return or trying to take something?

Would you want her to be egoless or egocentric? Fearless or intimidated by everything that could potentially go wrong? Being her true self or playing a role of who she thinks you want her to be?

Just food for thought, I don't have all the answers but this is the way I try to think about things, by always taking myself out of the equation to gain another perspective and not take things personally. It becomes almost easy to be the way you want to be when you flip the dynamics around and see things from the other side.

ORIONFULL23 · 2021-08-30T02:36:25+00:00

Honestly my dude you need to forgive you, whats done couldn't be undone, and at this point in your life worrying about all this shit its not gonna help you.

You need to consider that things are not gonna end well with every women that you find in your way.

Learn from your mistakes and keep going.

whoisdisthrowaway · 2021-08-30T03:02:36+00:00

Get comfortable with the idea that you’ll never be in control of everything. All you can do is give your best effort each day. Learn from your mistakes one by one. And each new day you’ll be working with new insights. This is how you make progress in any area of life.

No one is perfect. So you just gotta learn to be okay with your best effort today and trust your approach will be improved tomorrow.

Matthaios92 · 2021-08-30T04:57:25+00:00

Relationship OCD? (I struggle with that, I’d look it up)

Rude-Kaleidoscope-58 · 2021-08-30T09:08:50+00:00

I also have those thoughts sometimes, and I think everyone has it in a certain way. That's not so bad because you're in a process of questioning yourself, which ultimately leads to improvement and better calibration.

You're never like acting in a movie, with a perfect conversation with a totally responsive girl and an always maintained frame and calibration. It's all scripted, it doesn't exist. It's like dancing, you have to have a nice connection with your partner and everything is gonna be really smooth. It's two-sided, you cannot do everything on your own.

Anyway I'd suspect you feel a bit too "passive" in your interaction, because each things you mention are not things you should NOT have done but things you should.

I'd suggest to sometimes go in a more reckless mode where you try to be a little pushier than usual. Like suggesting something very explicit and see her reaction.

Calibration is hard.

GordonGecko69 · 2021-08-30T08:01:33+00:00

That’s perfectly fine. When I got into the game I did the same. Change should’ve to should or will and your good. The best players have the shortest memories. Just like the best pitchers.

2021-08-30T14:18:53+00:00

It's fine you just have too much of high standard for your self and when u don't meet em u start beating ur self. Accept you are still learning and that u r not the confident charismatic guy you one day will become.

Title	How to stop obsessing about my past interactions and what I perceive to be failures?
Author	Environmental_Cress2
Upvotes	10
Comments	9
Date	August 30, 2021 2:03 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pe8rmg/how_to_stop_obsessing_about_my_past_interactions/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-stop-obsessing-about-my-past-interactions.1277265 https://theredarchive.com/post/1277265

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