I am a doormat.

Seduceher · 2012-01-17T16:36:01+00:00

Im 30 and I've been having the same deal with one girl who becomes my One-Itis. I wish I could give better advice but this is basically what it boils down to... you have to STOP yourself from making yourself too available for her... its hard because you WANT to see her but she won't like you if you are the doormat.

With my One-itis I go a day or two without texting her and I get all nervous like she's forgotten about me. But she said she wanted to take it slow and thats why I see a lot of people on the side, so that I am entertained enough and not too eager for her attention.

With this girl (who is 30) its about trying to get her to chase ME, not about chasing her. DONT CHASE, REPLACE.

30vanquish · 2012-01-17T18:49:40+00:00

The best reset button is stopping all communication for 3-6 months. Don't leave a text, don't leave a message, don't call her.

Then she'll wonder what happened to you. Even if she doesn't, contact her after that. The easiest way to build indifference if your self control mechanism is busted due to one-itis = give the illusion of PLAN B. Have another girl you could go for potentially. Keep talking to other girls.

Hopefully you can get a second chance at it. Be indifferent, funny, and do everything you know.

xiko · 2012-01-17T17:52:31+00:00

I know seddit is about getting girls, not A girl.

Wrong. I am going through a lot of women to find that girl as I have a much higher standard now after having some long term relationships. Seddit helps me to go and look for her instead of settling with what appears.

And to your problem. i fixed my onetitis by going out with her clubbing and not paying attention to her and hitting on other girls. When I kissed another one my onetitis vanished.

cyniko · 2012-01-17T17:56:58+00:00

Holy shit - be unavailable.

It's likely that she won't forget about you when you switch gears but think of you more, and I'm telling you tone down the text/e-mails by like ten fold. I'm sure you guys are "friends" but YOU obviously can't handle that and she's enjoying that way too much.

Now I want to warn you: this process WILL take time. Switching roles in anyone's eye that you know this well either takes a dramatic event or a slow gradual shift, and since it'll be shifts in your texting/e-mail habits, it won't hit home for a while. Just have faith that every time you don't make yourself available via these mediums, it'll leave a small impact each time, with her eventually realizing/thinking "has he found someone else? why doesn't he want to hang out"

The money result is if she brings it up in any way possible either directly or indirectly. "Why so cold all of a sudden? find a new girl? :)"(direct) or "i feel like we haven't talked in a while - let's meet up for a drink" (indirect) - this means you know it's gotten to her that she now doesn't have you under her finger, rather than just a minor inconvenience that she doesn't care about.

Good Luck! and stay strong man. When she does text, you don't have to ignore, just shuffle it along as if it was a girl you didn't care to talk too. Be polite, be funny, but don't try to include her in your plans, and DON'T make yourself available for tentative plans. Remember, this is essentially the ONLY way to achieve frame is to do this considering your past history with her, you have to show HER that you're your own dude, regardless of how well you maintain frame with anyone else.

Whisper · 2012-01-17T22:06:01+00:00

We're both in our late 30s, so it's not behavior based on immaturity

Wrong answer. Immaturity is as immaturity does.

Anyone our age who's been paying attention for the past 30-odd years knows that the thoughtless, impulsive teenagers we once were still live inside us. We'd be dead inside without them, but they can make us do the same dumb things we once did.

You are carrying the answer to your own problem. You already know what it is. You are trying not to know because you don't like it, but you know what it is.

Next her. Let her go. You can't earn love, and you can't make someone love you. She is not a character in the story of you.

Go find another woman. Go find ten. Go find some women in their twenties. They are generally hotter, and will treat you better.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.

indigObstacle · 2012-01-18T10:23:00+00:00

Cut off all contact with her for a month.

Get in touch with her again and game her aggressively.

If it works, awesome. If it fails, move on.

Title	I am a doormat.
Author	doormatPUA
Upvotes	6
Comments	13
Date	January 17, 2012 12:33 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/okrnj/i_am_a_doormat/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-am-a-doormat.1291825 https://theredarchive.com/post/1291825

Comments