I care too much.

ARealSocialIdiot · 2014-04-03T17:48:52+00:00

There's a reason that any PUA worth his salt will tell you to engage with everybody in a group. That's because if you do it right, the friend, who has been made to feel welcome as part of the interaction, and who you have managed to get on your side, will not only be happy for her friend, but will actively try to help you get with her friend.

Yeah, if you talk only to the friend and ignore the less attractive members of the group, you will alienate them and make them resent the fact that their friend is getting hit on. You need to nip that in the bud before it happens. Ignored friends become cockblockers.

EDIT: A word

BlueIsStylinOnYou · 2014-04-03T20:44:54+00:00

As the guy who posted the 'always pick one' thread , maybe I can help with this hahah.

like /u/ARealSocialIdiot said,

There's a reason that any PUA worth his salt will tell you to engage with everybody in a group. and Ignored friends become cockblockers.

In fact, thing about it like this too. If you're out with a buddy, and you guys get approached by a girl. You have no interest in the girl, but the girl is interested in your buddy and your buddy may be interested in the girl. If she befriends both of you, and you take a genuine liking (but not sexual interest) in the girl, you'd be okay with your friend getting with her. Not even just okay, but you may actually be happy FOR your friend, because he's happy.

You've got a good heart from what I read above. PU can often interfere with moral/ethical responsibilities. I don't know how many times I've ended up pleasing two girls (to not leave one alone), and getting neither, since I gave them both attention but never escalated.

But you know what? I don't regret it at all.

And to address that feeling you get of standing on the sidelines... I've been there before too. Pretty sure we all have. Often times, I've said, "Well obviously my presence isn't needed here, excuse me." I'll smile wholeheartedly and leave. I have every right to be a little bit frustrated; no one likes to be ignored. You're not being a beta, or a bitch, or whatever by saying that. You're voicing your opinion with something that you think is wrong.

If you want me to go more in depth with specific things, just ask :)

roflsups · 2014-04-03T17:22:54+00:00

4 + 5.5 = 9.5...... Pre-negotiate a Threesome.

boss413 · 2014-04-03T23:29:05+00:00

Are you feeling bad for her or for the past version of yourself? If it's for the past version of yourself, that's just something to get over. If, however, you feel bad that she isn't getting the attention that most people crave and deserve, you're empathizing, which is not a bad thing to do. Anyone who wants to influence others (and seduction is a form of influence) must have that as a finely-tuned ability. /u/BlueIsStylinOnYou and /u/ARealSocialIdiot are both absolutely right that if you're engaging a set it's your job to bring the energy for everyone up--people should enjoy your company.

Also if you feel that bad you could toss her a mercy fuck. Pay it forward!

2014-04-04T02:13:15+00:00

You, know, lots of advice here. But here's an idea, take her off to the side, and then say something to the extent of "I didn't want to hit on you in front of your friend, she seems like a sweet girl." Instant balls, + compassion points.

DamienDieckeSOA · 2014-04-03T23:19:40+00:00

Hey dude, There is already some good advice in this thread, but I'll ad mine too.

There are going to be lots of times in your life when you have to hurt other people. Breaking up with a girl, firing someone at work just to name a few. Now what distinguishes a decent human being from the stereotypical 'nice guy with no backbone' is that a 'good guy with a backbone' will still break up with a girl, he'll even be honest about why he's breaking up with her and that might hurt her at first, but he doesn't do it in order to hurt her. Same with firing someone. You might feel a bit guilty doing it, but the world will respect you more, and you will respect yourself more.

That pain you felt getting ignored when you were younger was life teaching you lessons. It taught you to want to improve yourself and learn to be a better man. You should thank those women. they were being human, not evil.

When you approach a few girls, and only want one of them, YES you should be social to the whole group because that's just plain good manners. BUT you are exhibiting very weak ego strength if you aren't willing to be direct about what you want, EVEN IF it might make the other girl wish she got more male attention. You aren't hurting her on purpose, so it isn't your problem to solve. There's really no other way to say that.

This isn't about being Alpha, this is about being true to yourself and what you want in the world. I will ditch friends who hurt me, I'll dump girls who I don't want to be with anymore, Ill fire staff who aren't working well for me, and you should too. Or you will forever be living a second rate life. And I'm willing to bet that you are weak in all those areas as well.

If you want to turn your life around, you have to start being willing to have more killer instinct, go for what you want so long as you aren't ever willingly hurting others in the process. Women will always pay attention to a man like that, but they'll want to 'just be friends' with a guy who doesn't have that.

Title	I care too much.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	11
Date	April 3, 2014 5:09 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/22484h/i_care_too_much/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-care-too-much.1368565 https://theredarchive.com/post/1368565

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