Sudden realization the other night, and since then everything has changed. Kino was the one thing I struggled with, and instead of forcing myself to try it I just tried to work around it. But then I'd be doing pretty well, and things would just never escalate beyond talking and joking around.

But one night while hanging out with some friends, I had an epiphany. We were all joking around, and this involved a lot of touching. I started to notice all the ways everyone was touching one another -- fist bumps, play fighting, back pats, even some affected pseudo gay advances. We weren't even thinking about it. And that's what I had been missing: kino is not some trick that we have to master; it comes completely naturally. All we have to do is not be afraid to touch.

Kino is all about not being shy. If there is attraction, your natural tendency to touch will escalate on its own. Since that realization a couple weeks ago, I've been on a few dates. Whereas normally I'd just try to be funny and interesting all night and hope for an obvious sign from the girl, I decided to just treat it like I was out with a buddy. Greet her with a hug, pat her on the back when she makes a nice shot in pool... Even made her kiss me on the cheek before I'd give her the cue ball after she scratched. It doesn't take much, and then she starts escalating for me. K-close both nights this weekend, and one immediately asked for a second date, which is tonight. And this is after an embarrassingly long period of "just not getting it."

I did everything else exactly the same, and I am honestly pretty good at that stuff (cocky funny, banter, teasing, flirting, etc.). Only change was not being afraid to kino. If that's your weak spot, I'd really encourage you to just stop thinking about it and do what feels right. She will not think you're a creep or a perv. Could make all the difference for you.